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 0Posted on May 17th | re: Headline Of The Day (17 comments)

I always thought a penis made Chloe more attractive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoVbnv01Qek

 +11Posted on May 15th | re: How To Wake Up Your Kid, If Your Kid Happens To Be The Best (15 comments)

He looks like a mini- Chris Pratt. In twenty years, there will be a real life Andy Dwyer running around, and that’s the best news I could’ve heard today.

 +7Posted on Mar 5th | re: Game Of Thrones Season Two Trailer (11 comments)

I think that someone got really drunk Saturday night and watched the trailer literally thirty times in a row. Could be anyone.

 +3Posted on Feb 22nd | re: Getting Psyched For The Hunger Games Mall Tour! (22 comments)

I would actually go to this if it wasn’t a guaranteed nightmare of screeching teenagers. I drove four hours last year to take my sister to the Pokemon mall tour on her birthday. I like my publicity campaigns 1982 style.

 +18Posted on Feb 13th | re: Hey Ladies, How Was The Vow? (50 comments)

I’m saving all my money for “This Means War”. Sure to be the most brilliant romcom ever.

 +1Posted on Feb 13th | re: Newt Gingrich Doesn't Care About Broke People (40 comments)

I felt a little cheap even bringing up my personal anecdote because I don’t want that used as some kind of validation for being dicks when the economy’s booming. “Sure, we’ll sympathize with you now, poor people, because it sucks for some of us too!” and blow the fundamental issues off the rest of the time.

Empathy is a really tricky thing for the human race, apparently, because there are huge swarths of the population like your parents (who I’m sure are lovely people) that just don’t understand concepts they haven’t personally experienced.

The bigger mind-fuck to me are those like the subjects interviewed for the article; they obviously are familiar with struggling and dependence, but through some psychological boggling conclude that they’re special cases of hard luck and the rest of the world needs to suck it up.

 +14Posted on Feb 13th | re: Newt Gingrich Doesn't Care About Broke People (40 comments)

Ugh, I get so angry at the assholes that have convinced these people to be self-hating failures who deserve their struggles because they didn’t try hard enough to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. I know I should be angry at the people who buy it, and I am, but not nearly as much as the perpetrators. And Newt? My dad is a middle-classed conservative white man who has done Everything Right (TM) his entire life persuing the model of the rat race, and he’s been out of work five times in three years because the businesses keep closing. If an educated, priveleged, experienced, and stereotypically perfectly presented model of the American dream needs unemployment on a regular basis, I want you to go ahead and shut the fuck up about anyone without those advantages.

 +5Posted on Feb 2nd | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (12 comments)

New Hunger Games trailer out today, everybody.

http://io9.com/5881709/hunger-games-super-bowl-trailer-delivers-even-more-teenage-deathmatch

 +8Posted on Feb 2nd | re: Our Generation's Cast Of Downton Abbey (13 comments)

Okay, this is mostly “Yup, that’s them”, until you get to O’Brien and Mrs. Hughes. Whoa ladies!

 +3Posted on Jan 30th | re: Hey, Let's Talk About Luck (27 comments)

I went into the show assuming every single character was trying to pull some underhanded scam (counting horse cards! or whatever), so the twenty five percent of dialouge I managed to make out all translated as very ominous. I think I was mostly right, bar maybe the cocky jockey, but who knows, maybe he’s playing a long con.

 +4Posted on Oct 28th, 2011 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (18 comments)

I hate about ninety-nine percent of kid’s movies and shows these days, and thought I’d been doing a decent job of slipping in good stuff among the onslaught of hyperactive, mindless crap to my five year old. A few months back, I noticed Cartoon Network was airing an hour of classic Looney Tunes everyday at noon, and thought how great. My kid cried. “Why are the cartoons hitting each other?” So, that was a fun talk.

 +4Posted on Oct 21st, 2011 | re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUDGE JUDY! (37 comments)

So, my extended family (white, middle-class) are huge Madea fans, complete with constant quoting of the movies. They’ve recently taught my five year old to say “Thank yer” and “Dinter”. It’s painful.

 +28Posted on Sep 21st, 2011 | re: Vote Rick Perry In 2012 Or DIE! (69 comments)

Too small.

Wait, so she went above and beyond to have her roommate hog the bathroom, lack energy to clean, and never feel inspired to fill the fridge? Mine always did that without being poisoned.

 +7Posted on Sep 16th, 2011 | re: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (50 comments)

A couple years ago, before the Tea Party emerged, I was big into Ron Paul and the concept of Libertarianism. I felt the two-party system was a joke, and really felt inspired by the idea of fucking it off and starting over. Which, actually, I still do, but I don’t think Libertarian values are the way to do that. Socially liberal, economically conservative is a farce though. It sounds great on paper, because I want everyone treated fairly, but don’t want control to be with some awful all-powerful centrist force. Unfortunately, human beings don’t really work that way. The theory that the private market would step up and fill the needs of a central government is pretty much debunked. Resetting the majority of decision making to states would make the country extremely unbalanced, and states can’t afford most programs Libertarians would prefer to see localized.

So yeah, the Tea Partiers busted out and made us all look like assholes, but even separate from that, I unfortunately don’t see that system working ever. What we have isn’t working either, and extreme socialism ala Communism didn’t look great. Sweden seems to have figured some shit out, but they talk funny so who even knows what that’s all about? Guess we’re just stuck in the suck.

Yay Friday! Drinks on me.

 +2Posted on Sep 14th, 2011 | re: IMPORTANT: New Dallas Cowboys Theme Song (21 comments)

Come on, cowboy, go put on a shirt.

 +5Posted on Sep 13th, 2011 | re: Tea Party Debate Audience Would Like Everyone To Die (180 comments)

Yeah, my initial reaction to this is that the crowd equates uninsured and medicaid with illegal immigration. So they’re cheering for dead Mexicans.

 +15Posted on Sep 8th, 2011 | re: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK) (172 comments)

Excuse the dramatic phrasing, but that’s a pretty barbaric philosophy. Harsher punishments don’t reduce crime; identifying common causes of criminal behavior (socio-economic, mental health) and making improvements to reduce or treat those causes reduces crime. Instead of focusing on ‘eye for an eye’, we could dedicate time and money on preventing crime, freeing up space in jail for true sociopathic criminals to sit for life (as the only beneficial argument I’ve ever heard for the death penalty talks about the cost of hosting life prisoners.) Advancement of humanity for the better is supposed to be one of the goals of a first world country, right?

 +3Posted on Sep 1st, 2011 | re: Steve Burns Talks About His "Fameishness" On The Moth (11 comments)

He does seem really cool. Now I feel guilty for always thinking Joe was cuter.

 +1Posted on Sep 1st, 2011 | re: That's Your Coloring Book: 9/11 Coloring Book (49 comments)

Look how snazzily dressed that Navy Seal is! I hope this is put into a vault somewhere and preserved for archaeologists generations from now.

 +1Posted on Aug 31st, 2011 | re: Ha Ha Ha Ha (12 comments)

I just tried to google and find out if he’s wearing a West Point hat, and instead found the best cowboy hat shopping emporium on the web. Well played name for page views, guys.

 +4Posted on Aug 29th, 2011 | re: 2011 MTV Video Music Awards (59 comments)

But what I’m saying is the anonymity is not about hiding the addiction. It’s just a privacy measure for group meetings (and kind of isn’t even then? Between sponsors, and people that become friends or hook up). It’s encouraged in the 12 Steps to admit to your problem, and then to go around to the people who have been affected and make amends. I think there’s an acknowledgement of the personal nature of recovery, and the Steps are written vaguely enough to give breathing room to people that would rather have their struggles be secret in their outside lives, but otherwise, they are really big on owning up (Hi, my name is, right off the bat). Think of it more like the confidentiality agreement with a therapist.
I’m just pointing this out because it seems like there’s kind of a mystery to anyone who hasn’t been involved with recovery groups. The only heirloom I received from the paternal side of my family was a well-used, ancient copy of The Blue Book, and I went to NA meetings for a couple months. I wasn’t trying to debate against your views, I’m just giving some of the background facts on the subject.

 +9Posted on Aug 29th, 2011 | re: 2011 MTV Video Music Awards (59 comments)

Well, the anonymity allowed people to attend in the early stages of the organization, because back then being caught as an admitted addict was a huge jeopardy to their jobs and social circles. If a person was functioning, everyone would just not talk about what abusive assholes they were, and if they spun out of control they were hospitalized. Nowadays, the anonymity serves as a guarantee of privacy. It’s not about, lie to everyone because this is shameful, it’s a code that guarantees that you can come and share your personal story without it being spread around.
And the meetings are relegated to church basements in most instances because it’s a free place to gather and groups can be localized. The churches volunteer their meeting rooms a couple times a week, and that means that people that can’t afford counseling or find a way to fewer and far between alternative groups, have access to a form of treatment.
I think the set-up is really serviceable, overall. And a totally separate discussion from whether terms of illness should be applied to addicts.

 +10Posted on Aug 29th, 2011 | re: True Blood S04E10: Bombs Over Shreveport (33 comments)

I’m usually the annoying “but it’s hilarious campy fun!” defender person, but nope. This season is indefensible. Last night’s episode was not ‘bad in a good way’. It was the most terrible hour of television I’ve watched in months, and I watch Jersey Shore. So.

 +7Posted on Aug 29th, 2011 | re: 2011 MTV Video Music Awards (59 comments)

Going strong? I suppose the organization could be making a profit from book sales, but most of that goes back into key chains and booklets. Other than that, meeting attendees are asked to donate a buck for the coffee fund and that’s it.