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 +1Posted on Jan 23rd, 2013 | re: Things That Would Be More Surprising To See Come Out Of An Egg (25 comments)

Eggs, all the way down.

 +5Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 | re: Miss Venezuela Is OUR Generation's Miss South Carolina (21 comments)

First offense: Asshole Hat
Second offence: Asshole Hat and Shirt
Third offence: Asshole tattooed on their foreheads
Fourth offence: Taken out back and shot

 +2Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 | re: Merry Christmas From Courtney Stodden (50 comments)

The most shocking thing about this photo is that she has a tan line. She doesn’t tan naked?

 +7Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 | re: Vincent Kartheiser Sure Gets Punched In The Face A Lot! (50 comments)

I was punched in the face in the 7th grade while standing up for a friend who was being picked on in art class of all places. The fist came out of absolutely nowhere and shocked me because it had never before occurred to me that someone would use violence as a response to anything. The shock followed by the pain led me to burst into tears (the MOST embarrassing part of the whole experience) and the teacher called the principal and the puncher got in trouble.

This was my universal male coming of age moment but I’m a girl. This may explain some things.

 +6Posted on Sep 26th, 2012 | re: Updating Wuthering Heights For Its NBC Adaptation (42 comments)

Nothing could top the wonderful MTV’s Wuthering Heights released in 2003 but a modern take on the mid 1990s based on the clothing.

 +8Posted on Aug 22nd, 2012 | re: The Petting Zoo: The Week's Top 10 Animal Videos (13 comments)

Week Tosh.0 comes to mind.

Grimm is pretty okay but I wonder if I only like it because I recognize all the places they film. My friend hates it because they’re always blocking off streets near where she works downtown. This was a fascinating story and to apologize I recommend BBC drama series. All of them. Hunted looks like it’ll be great!

 +12Posted on Jul 30th, 2012 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Don't Borrow Money From Octomom (24 comments)

Or at least make your bed.

 +1Posted on Jun 15th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (21 comments)

Pitch Perfect is going to be fabulous in the exact same way that the Step Up sequels are. I leave the interpretation of fabulous up to you.

 +7Posted on Jun 7th, 2012 | re: Our Dreams Are So Small (42 comments)

Monsters, we see you. You are alive and you exist and that means something to someone on this planet, at least for now. Please don’t feel the need to go onto TV to discover this.

 +1Posted on May 30th, 2012 | re: James Franco Breaks His Legendary Silence On HBO's Girls (47 comments)

(James Franco seems like a dork to me, at least, on the occasions when my ex-girlfriend tuned in while I happened to be around.)

 +3Posted on May 9th, 2012 | re: Girl Stuff: Take Fashion Advice Wherever You Can Get It (12 comments)

This is merely a small taste of the full experience “Be Somebody or Be Somebody’s Fool” in which Mr T teaches us all how to avoid drugs, dress well and treat your mother right. The full video is available here:

 +2Posted on Nov 18th, 2011 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (82 comments)

While I use comparisons to Battle Royale and Running Man when compelling people to read the books, it is unfair to state that it is “just” white Battle Royale. It has elements of The Lottery and other great stuff all mish-moshed together into a fun, fast read.

 +3Posted on Nov 11th, 2011 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (35 comments)

Hardness is reserved as a measuring system for dicks and diamonds. How can Luke Wright be NYC’s hardest cop unless they’re referring to the rigidity of his penis? I firmly believe that there is an annual hardness competition for the nation’s police force and that Jason Statham could take home that swell trophy.

 +1Posted on Nov 10th, 2011 | re: This Is Just A Good Rick Perry Blooper (45 comments)

What software decides the “related” videos to the right on YouTube? Because it is either genius or insane. A reenactment:
Ricky Perry, Rick Perry… Rick Perry… Herman Cain … scroll scroll scroll… what to do when your crack itches in public. Wait what?

 +14Posted on Nov 8th, 2011 | re: New Commenters' New Corner: Brett Ratner, Your Boyfriend, Stinks! (187 comments)

This is what happens when you let the new kids in to play. Nothing is where you put it.

 +7Posted on Nov 8th, 2011 | re: New Commenters' New Corner: Brett Ratner, Your Boyfriend, Stinks! (187 comments)

You should all rehearse commenting more. #morehomo

 +3Posted on Sep 16th, 2011 | re: This Week In GIFs (17 comments)

I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. But I am pretty sure the flaw lies with me and not you.

 +3Posted on Jun 20th, 2011 | re: The Killing Season One Finale (49 comments)

The original Killing was so supremely excellent (and I watched almost all of it over a single weekend in a state of addiction) that I couldn’t bring myself to watch this version. After reading recaps I know that this was the correct decision. I highly recommend the original but warn you that if you watch it as quickly as I did that you may find yourself thinking that you can speak Danish.

 +14Posted on May 27th, 2011 | re: Well, This Lindsay Lohan "Short Film" Is Terrible (51 comments)

She could show greater range if someone would give her a role of a woman who is capable of closing her mouth.

 0Posted on May 26th, 2011 | re: You Did That Wrong, President Obama! I Guess! (44 comments)

It isn’t the year 700B? Someone set the hot tub time machine wrong again!