Profile 
turingcub

Latest Comments

Comments

 +6Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 | re: No Scarf Problems For Us This Week, You Guys (39 comments)

 +5Posted on Jun 15th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Desperately Seeking Susan (142 comments)

…but the teenage boy characters will still wear jeans as basket-ey as the guys checking out Madonna in the repeating if, because actual jeans for adult men are no longer made in the way that emphasizes the basket. Except when they’re worn by pre-teen Disney sexpots pretending to not be selling sex.

 -12Posted on Jun 11th, 2009 | re: The Bruno Moral Quandary (116 comments)

This is exactly equivalent to hipsters who wear ugly clothing, “you know, BECAUSE it’s ugly, and clearly YOU don’t GET it. GOD.”

Actually, the only way this buttbloat of a movie will be redeemed is if the final scene is a big ol’ Godwin’s Law, of SBC getting the living shit beaten out of him by the rednecks who just don’t get it. Because this really is nothing more than blackface done by a hack. Hilarity!

 +2Posted on May 29th, 2009 | re: ABC's Charlie Gibson Reports On The Room! (17 comments)

TUCSON REPRESENT! Hamlet 2 was not enough.

 +14Posted on May 29th, 2009 | re: Seth MacFarlane Determined To Prove The Emmys Are Worthless (47 comments)

R.C., the worst thing about the show (among quite a few Teh Worsts) is how so many tools claim it to be high-minded and hilarious, when it’s mostly Perez-Hilton pokes at celebrities, one-note character jokes (the dad’s fat! the baby’s evil! the brother is… fat!)* and slapstick or gross-out humor that animation doesn’t really surprise anyone with. And from what I’ve seen, the comic timing is… drawn out… (DNP, do not pun-uscitate)

*I may be wrong; maybe there’s some interesting char. dev., but I’m not going to hang around to wait for it.

 +3Posted on May 29th, 2009 | re: How About These Pygmy Jerboa Babies? (50 comments)

Chadams nailed it: these things are Q-bert cute (“QUTE-BERT”? Help.) – but only as far as a physically-impossible videogame character can be cute. Which is to say, it can be terrifying when cast into real life, and yet… compwetewy iwwezistiblez!!1

 +19Posted on May 29th, 2009 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: This Fucking Guy (68 comments)

Dude just needs to be topped appropriately for the first time. With a penis that’s God-given-naturally as hard as a steel spoon handle.

 0Posted on May 29th, 2009 | re: Move Over, Snuggie, And Make Room For The Wearable Towel (32 comments)

0:26 “It’s ultra-absorbent!” You know, like a diaper. That you wear. To your pool party.

 0Posted on May 29th, 2009 | re: Wait A Second, Who The F Are Jon And Kate? (35 comments)

Probably; the reality-verse couldn’t ever handle a gay boy who wasn’t a stereotype.

 -1Posted on May 19th, 2009 | re: If You Like This Poster, Here Are Some Other Things You Might Like (42 comments)

Gabe, dodge all you want, this stuff still falls as flat as – wait for it – your girlfriend’s chest.

This blog would be a cool ice cream sundae except for this particular poop cherry on top…