“While we all enjoy the NBC Late-Night controversy, it’s important to remember that there are real issues in the world, like drug abuse and malnourishment. These guys know what I’m talking about:”

brb: Better Recognize, Bitch(es)
lol: Leave Or Lactate
a/s/l?: Angry/Sad/Lobotomized?
imho: In My Humble Opinion

Woah, now, let’s be fair. I don’t enjoy Larry the Cable Guy, and all I’ve seen are the two Blue Collar Comedy Tours (I was young, be gentle!), but as far as I know a) he’s never had any racist material and b) the most inappropriate jokes he has involve sex. None of the Blue Collar guys use excessive swearing or shock value, and the only stereotypes they invoke are stereotypes of their own culture. So if people wanna dislike Larry the Cable Guy because he’s not funny, fine; but I don’t think he belongs in quite the same category as Dane Cook and Jeff Dunham.

That being said, whaaaaat? You’s some crazy sauce, History Channel.

I hate links as much as the next guy, but the link below explains some of Scientology’s “relief” efforts, as they have responded to several tragedies in the past. Included in these efforts are “Nerve Assists,” which is a back massage which, “if performed properly, will dislodge the ‘standing wave’ of trauma” any Haitian may feel. Or how about “Locational Assists,” where Scientologists point to things, make you look at them, and then say “thank you.” It may seem harmless, but the CoS is there to do the same thing they always do: brainwash. And that’s just sickening. Even if they brought some medical experts or a couple tons of food, I guarantee you that plate comes with some auditing.
http://gawker.com/5451086/john-travolta-to-airlift-desperately-needed-e+meters-to-people-of-haiti (by the way, this article isn’t exactly neutral, but it gets the point across)

Yeah, its like any event whatsoever has to be prefaced by an attempt to support Haiti. And if any of these events helped the contribution by even a couple bucks, I can consider it a good thing. But its just downright dishonest. You wanna help Haiti? Cancel the fuckin’ award show, and all that money spent on booze and suits? You know where I’m goin’ here. “Before we begin our hundred-thousand dollar fake award show, can someone please donate ten dollars to Haiti? Cool. CONSCIENCE CLEARED!”

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’m tired of every commentator trying to remind me that Conan is a millionaire and that this isn’t as big a deal as, say, Haiti. Uh, duh; I’m not a baby, and I can define the word “prioritize.” But that is so beside the point. What NBC did was fucked up, and its terrible to see anyone’s dream come an abrupt and messy end. Its sad to thing that little Conan once sat on a couch watchin’ Carson, imagining himself sitting in that chair; it’s depressing to think of how excited he must have been to sign that contract, how much energy he probably put into crafting the franchise’s future. So, journalist collective, stop reminding me to care about other shit. I understand the gravity of this situation, or the lack thereof; but that doesn’t make Conan deserve my support any less.