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 +21Posted on Jun 28th, 2012 | re: Let's All Name Tyler Perry's Sci-Fi Movie! (48 comments)

Adaptation of the hit stage play For Coloured Girls Who Have Considered Space Travel When Gravity’s Rainbow Wasn’t Enough.

 +3Posted on Jun 1st, 2012 | re: Two Men Shot In Fight Over Kool Aid (22 comments)

“I know, right!”
–Andrea Isom

 +4Posted on Sep 12th, 2011 | re: The CW Is Making A Sex and the City Prequel Series, Ladies! (28 comments)

More like the I Don’t Care-ie Diaries.
More like the Who Gives a The Carrie Diaries.
More like Beyonce’s hit “I Care(ie Diaries)”.
More like Sissy Spacek’s Diaries from the set of Carrie.
More like …when there was only one set of footsteps, that’s when I started telling you about the Carrie Diaries and you just walked away; that’s when I Carrie’d you, bro.

That’s what it’s more like, right?

 +9Posted on Sep 12th, 2011 | re: This Is Just A Good Mariachi Band! (16 comments)

You seem to think that this video makes us hate these children, but in reality I have never hated anything less than the sweet little faces making these terrible sounds.

 +3Posted on Sep 2nd, 2011 | re: A Girl From The Rebecca Black Music Video Gets Her Own Music Video (14 comments)

“Quick, someone draft a casting call for a bunch of fatty homo sad sacks. Teens only, please.” –ibid

 +2Posted on Aug 23rd, 2011 | re: A Portrait Of America On August 23rd, 2011 (41 comments)

Is it? Sad, I mean? What’s the worst case scenario, here?

Willow and Jaden, emotionally wounded by the divorce, maybe start to question whether they really want to be like their horrible parents. Maybe they realize that their parents are fallible and that they don’t always make the best decisions, that maybe they haven’t always made the best decisions about their children, either.

I think the worst case scenario is actually the one that seems most realistic, that this is all an unsubstantiated rumour and that those horrible people are going to stay exactly as they are.

Talk to you later, Livejournal.


 +1Posted on Aug 23rd, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (10 comments)

That was a really good Louis CK interview.

Later, headlines across America read, “Internet Commenter SHOCKS WORLD with BOLD STATEMENT about LOUIS CK — also, hear about that Earthquake?”

 +6Posted on Aug 16th, 2011 | re: Taylor Momsen Has Quit Acting! (64 comments)

Please throw some up-votes all over this really good joke about melting cheese, people.

 +1Posted on Aug 16th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (7 comments)

“Is David Morse our husband with children from a previous marriage, yet?” More like.

Just kidding, you got it right the first time.

 +2Posted on Aug 15th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (15 comments)

Smashing Pumpkins in the City lyrics, go:

“The world is a vampire/ shoes on my braa-ain.”

 +1Posted on Aug 15th, 2011 | re: Austin Powers 4, Buddy, Yes! (26 comments)

Okay, Videoguys. Can we just come together and get an ePetition going or something where Mike Meyers isn’t allowed within like, one million feet of Verne Troyer? The third Austin Powers movie was on TV last night and they have jokes about Mini-me humping Beyonce’s leg like a dog.

I don’t care how much money Verne’s being given– give him the money anyways, that’s how much I don’t care! Just don’t let Mike Meyers write any more “jokes” in which the fact that Verne Troyer is small like an animal is the central punchline. It’s big time gross. Grosser than the gross Fat Bastard jokes, and let me assure you, those are pretty big time gross.

tl;dr (really? it’s two paragraphs.) Leave Verne Troyer alone, Mike Meyers.

 0Posted on Aug 14th, 2011 | re: This Week In GIFs (9 comments)

Very tardy to the post before the party, but let’s be honest here. Kelly, you are a gem. You are killing it, day in-day out. TGIK, if you ask me.

“Hey, quit asking me! You know the answer, it’s TGIK.”

America Ferrara ate here and it is a shame that people associate her with a character named Ugly Betty, because I mean, really, people. She is very pretty.

 +22Posted on Aug 10th, 2011 | re: A Fake Interview With Emma Stone (38 comments)

For a fake interview it sure leaves a lot of questions unanswered: e.g. “Why doesn’t Max Silvestri want Allison Janney to be happy? Can’t she laugh at an interview if she wants? Jeeze, Max Silvestri.”?

 0Posted on Jun 30th, 2011 | re: At Long Last, The Bollywood Nyan Cat Mash-Up (15 comments)

Relatives and diner waitstaffs? Relatives and diner waitstavs.

Much better.

 0Posted on Jun 28th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (16 comments)

Don’t be selfish! OUR generation’s Arrested Development movie.

 +11Posted on Jun 21st, 2011 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Ryan Gosling Carrying A Dog (91 comments)

Blue’s Clues Valentine

 +3Posted on Jun 20th, 2011 | re: Here's The Rob Zombie Woolite Commercial You Wanted (16 comments)

Uh, excuse me? Not all of us are talking about Woolite. I happen to be downloading this commercial onto my iPod so that I can show it to people in the pharmacy and THEN talk about Woolite.

Not all of us have friends, man. Don’t assume.

 +5Posted on Jun 20th, 2011 | re: El Willy Is OUR Generation's Salsa Dog (11 comments)

Ugh, who let this Everyman in here?

 +3Posted on Jun 10th, 2011 | re: This Week In Gifs (28 comments)

Sorry, couldn’t hear you over the prescience of this GIField.

That’s the weird thing though, it seems like a lot of comedians seem to stand by Chelsea Lately and value it in some way that I don’t understand. I’ve heard a lot of comedians talking on podcasts about how glad they are that it exists, but could be that they’re just trying not to burn bridges.

I guess that maybe a lot of people are excited that a woman has a late-night show staffed mostly by writers who are also women, but whenever I see clips of it I don’t understand how people can watch it and not see it as some sort of awful nightmare.

Salivating because he can’t wait to try the raspberry tarts that the boy baked before dance class, I’m sure.

 +11Posted on Jun 9th, 2011 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow FINALLY Breaks Her Legendary Silence About Homosexuality (56 comments)

Her heart really knows how to be in “the right place” while also being in the place where everyone can look at it and commend it for being Gwyneth Paltrow, no?

Good point, Goopo.

 +35Posted on Jun 9th, 2011 | re: Draw Something: Ed Helms' The Hangover Part II Tattoo (80 comments)

Big Pete & Pete fan.

 0Posted on Jun 8th, 2011 | re: Hayes Carll: "Another Like You" (7 comments)

I guess I’m not actually allowed to be upset about a Celebrity Apprentice spoiler, but, well…