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tiredandwired
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 +5Posted on Apr 11th, 2013 | re: This Is How Engineers Built An Animatronic T-Rex For Jurassic Park! (9 comments)

As much as I love Jurassic Park, and as much as I have to suspend my disbelief watching a movie with DINOSAURS WALKING AROUND, I have one big problem with a particular scene, and its lapse in logic is so bad that it takes me right out of the movie, so here goes:

In the scene where the characters are in the ride contraption learning about DINO DNA (please read with a ridiculous accent), they swing over to where the eggs are hatching, and everyone wants to go down and look. Hammond says they can’t get out until the ride thing is over, but they do so anyways and go down to where the Velociraptors are hatching. THIS IS THE PART THAT KILLS ME: Hammond says that the dinosaur bonds with the first person they see, and that he has been there FOR EVERY FUCKING HATCHING. There are literally dozens of eggs in the area, clearly hatching all the time. If they had stayed in the ride, Hammond would have missed it. They try to cover it up with the line aimed at the technician (“Why didn’t you tell me they were about to hatch?”), but that still doesn’t solve the problem that this is a 70 YEAR OLD MAN WHO WALKS WITH A CANE. There is no way in hell he would be there for every hatching, even if he slept in the room. They could have easily left that line out, but their insistence on keeping an impossible line in ruined the entire experience for me.

Rant over. Carry on.

 +13Posted on Jan 10th, 2013 | re: Sounds Like Topper Had A Fun New Year's (17 comments)

Great use of the word “esoteric” in an article about a woman having loud sex.

Well this explains why we haven’t seen Wilmer Valderrama in years: he’s been too busy diligently getting neck tattoos.

You can’t see it from that angle but there is a Blake Lively tattoo on the other side of Ryan Gosling’s neck.

 +19Posted on Sep 6th, 2012 | re: What Should J.J. Abrams' Robot Buddy Cop Show Be Called? (56 comments)

Precinct 101100100111010001

 +68Posted on Sep 4th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E08: To Be Continued...! (198 comments)

No one saying “Czech please!” during the cafe scene felt like a wasted opportunity.

Needs more Solondz.

Big Money Rustlas

 +14Posted on Aug 21st, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't You Caption It? Contest: Lost Themed Nursery (55 comments)

This nursery contains an insufficient amount of Nickelback lyrics.

Romney/Ryan 2012: White Club

 +2Posted on Aug 16th, 2012 | re: Now, Here's The Thing (49 comments)

If there’s ever a casting call for a patient having a seizure in a medical drama, I may know a guy.

 +12Posted on Aug 16th, 2012 | re: Now, Here's The Thing (49 comments)

and my wine-soaked computer.

 +6Posted on Jul 24th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: The Soup Nazi Soup Truck (50 comments)

Um, the quickest route from Boston to Baltimore is through New York and Philadelphia. Solid planning.

 +34Posted on Jul 23rd, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E02: Walt Is Very Frustrating (83 comments)

Damn it.

 +8Posted on Jul 23rd, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E02: Walt Is Very Frustrating (83 comments)

It would be awesome if this were the only comment on the entire post.

 +11Posted on Jul 19th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 68: Name Your Vagina After A Movie (233 comments)

Adventureland

 +4Posted on Jul 17th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Bane & Company (47 comments)

You can actually claim the murdered people as “retroactively deceased”, clearing you of any legal ramifications.

 +22Posted on Jul 11th, 2012 | re: That's Your Lawn Company's Trailer: Lawn Order (23 comments)

I’m not even going to bother guessing what the car horn sounds like.

 +18Posted on Jun 14th, 2012 | re: See You Guys Later, At The Underwater Nightclub! (41 comments)

“I’d like to apply for the bartender job. What would I be doing on the job?”

“Well, you aren’t actually going to be making drinks, because underwater.”

“So what would be my responsibilities?”

“How good are you at standing and handing strangers mysterious bottles?”

“Okay, I guess?”

“You’re hired.”

 +13Posted on Jun 4th, 2012 | re: Mad Men: Everybody Hurts (186 comments)

When Don and Roger leave through the front door of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce to go meet with Dupont, Sterling Cooper is on one of the doors with Draper Pryce on the other. When Don leaves, he goes through the Draper Pryce side, opening the door by pushing right in between where it says Draper and Pryce. That would be the last time Don leaves the office with Lane alive. Matthew Weiner enjoys small details.

 +6Posted on May 21st, 2012 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: This Racist (62 comments)

Does anyone have Sherman Hemsley’s number? I have something I want him to stand on real quick.

 +7Posted on May 7th, 2012 | re: Mad Men: So This Is Just The Megan Show, Now? (136 comments)

Did you know there were 143 episodes of Saved By The Bell: The New Class?

How…how does that happen?

 +28Posted on May 7th, 2012 | re: Mad Men: So This Is Just The Megan Show, Now? (136 comments)

I think it’s because Megan is being utilized differently than the other characters in the show that may cause a negative reaction. Megan isn’t there to be a character that we are going to feel such a strong connection with; it’s more how the characters that we already care about react to her decisions. Megan is a sign of the times; it’s doubtful that she would have gotten much respect even two seasons ago. Mad Men is still driven by Don and Peggy; it’s Don’s mixture of confusion and yearning to adapt and Peggy’s feelings about how people should react to advertising that is driving the story along, not if Megan is going to get a bit part in a commercial.

 +4Posted on Apr 10th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Texting Man Meets Bear (52 comments)

I’m not sure if he should feel relieved that the bear didn’t chase him or insulted that the bear thought a stationary garbage can was more interesting than him.

You know what’s cooler than a thousand words? Millions of dollars lost on production costs and marketing.

Wait no it’s not.