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Ticotaster
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 +3Posted on Feb 11th, 2010 | re: A Juggalo's Guide To Parenting (52 comments)

I can’t really decide what’s worse: doing this to a baby, or doing the JonBenet Ramsey pageant thing where your toddler looks like a Maybelline spokesmodel.

 -1Posted on Feb 8th, 2010 | re: Quick Reminder: Sarah Palin Is An Asshole (50 comments)

Look, I happen to be female. Downvote me if you will, but this is not the demeanor of a woman who is getting some. Of course, since her husband has to share a bed with a sociopath, perhaps there’s a reason to this, but…

 -22Posted on Feb 8th, 2010 | re: Quick Reminder: Sarah Palin Is An Asshole (50 comments)

I understand everything now: she just needs to get porked rotten, and she will ease up. I have a feeling her husband isn’t delivering the goods.

 +3Posted on Feb 8th, 2010 | re: Why Can't You Just Let Ginger Kid Be Great, Asks Ginger Kid (50 comments)

It’s nice to see that he put some thought and consideration into the art direction / cinematography of this latest rant. The shadow of the fence on his face made it particularly poignant.

 -1Posted on Jan 25th, 2010 | re: Stop Burying The Lede, Blood Into Wine Trailer! (36 comments)

Yeah, uh, isn’t this the same guy who sang in a plaintive, beleaguered way, “Why can’t we just be sober?”

Because we’re getting shitfaced and snonkered on your Arizona hooch, Maynard.

 +20Posted on Jan 21st, 2010 | re: When You Wrestle With The Ginger, You're Gonna Get Wet With Lawyers (78 comments)

I like how he says “I think that’s about all I have to say” and we’re not even at the halfway mark.

 +25Posted on Jan 21st, 2010 | re: This Is Your Music Video: Maxine Swaby's "Pardon Me" (25 comments)

Seems like a polite young woman.

 +3Posted on Jan 21st, 2010 | re: The Season Of The Witch Trailer Rocks!* (29 comments)

This looks like rubbish. Now, “Halloween 3: Season of the Witch” rocked ass on this in every single way, and it was all about Halloween masks full of insects that ate kids’ heads on Halloween night.

Far superior.

 +2Posted on Jan 19th, 2010 | re: Free Conan O'Brien! (32 comments)

Not quite…though I am a huge KISS fan, and caught Ace Frehley’s post-encore sweaty towel after a solo gig two years ago, and have yet to wash it. I sleep with it every night, like Linus with his security blankie.

 0Posted on Jan 19th, 2010 | re: Free Conan O'Brien! (32 comments)

You win! How’d you know?

 +4Posted on Jan 19th, 2010 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Britney Spears (39 comments)

A few months ago, I watched (while steadily drinking) a few episodes of “Chaotic” online, and this girl is seriously vulnerable, lonely, needy, and in desperate need of real people around her.

…actually, maybe not. Maybe buying a farm and doing farm things on that farm would help her out immensely.

 0Posted on Jan 19th, 2010 | re: Free Conan O'Brien! (32 comments)

My point exactly (you were just a bit more succinct).

 +5Posted on Jan 19th, 2010 | re: Free Conan O'Brien! (32 comments)

Nice to know people still focus their energy on Things That Matter. In my city, we had a bus strike for FOUR MONTHS. People stroked their (big) chins and said, “Wow, this sucks,” shrugged, lost their jobs due to no transportation, and 200 people showed up for a rally. 200 people, in a city of 3 million.

Guns N’ Roses once cancelled their concert, and my city rioted. Our team lost the Stanley Cup one year, and my city rioted. Smashed windows, looting, overturned cars…the usual riot stuff.

Guess which city I’m from.

 +7Posted on Jan 18th, 2010 | re: Gingers Do Have Souls, Claims This Ginger (69 comments)

This poor kid needs a serious ginger beer to calm the fuck down.

 +5Posted on Jan 15th, 2010 | re: Let Us Not Forget The Important Work Of George Lopez (23 comments)

George Lopez: 100% twat.

 +7Posted on Jan 14th, 2010 | re: Notable Asshole Pat Robertson Says Haiti Made A Deal WIth The Devil (64 comments)

Here’s Olbermann’s succinct response, nicely summing up how most of us feel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPoWOw8Jm5w

 +1Posted on Jan 12th, 2010 | re: The YouTube Piano Is No Replacement For Flying Cars (16 comments)

A poignant tune, melancholy almost…could be the soundtrack for all those suicidal “Avatar” kids.

 0Posted on Jan 11th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Notebook (127 comments)

You making it through this illegally awful mess of a movie makes up for at least half a year’s worth of Taking One For The Team. I silently bow to you in reverence, awe, and then you get a sympathetic hug.

 +33Posted on Dec 16th, 2009 | re: The Videogum Pizza Party (153 comments)

Perhaps the best-looking group of monsters anyone will ever see.

 +2Posted on Dec 16th, 2009 | re: Kids Play "Sweet Child O' Mine" Perfectly The Darndest Things (36 comments)

I thought there were four members of Sonic Youth.

 +2Posted on Dec 15th, 2009 | re: Party! Pizza Party! Videogum Pizza Party! (And Last Call For Interns!) (108 comments)

Okay, so, due to geographical challenges, I couldn’t make it out tonight (though I wonder how many people were so shy they wouldn’t attend), but next year? If you all happen to be here in Central America? Rice and beans!! Together! All day, every day!

…uh, please?

 +7Posted on Dec 14th, 2009 | re: What Is The Catchphrase Of The Decade? (162 comments)

The time Britney’s mike picked up her saying “Mah pussy’s hangin’ out of my shorts!” during a concert didn’t make it as a catchphrase this decade, but we still have 17 days left…

 +2Posted on Dec 13th, 2009 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (184 comments)

They may very well have raised money WITH apartheid. Cut me some slack; I’m explaining my language six days a week to foreigners, I’m allowed to be lazy and inebriated on my one day off. At any rate, tears are still not enough. They really aren’t.

 0Posted on Dec 12th, 2009 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (184 comments)

As Northern Lights–the Canadian supergroup who came together to record a single to raise money for apartheid, much like USA For Africa did–sang in 1985, “We can bridge the distance / Only we can make the difference / Don’t you know that tears are not enough?”

In my mind, this applies to all of us. It’s probably the Nicaraguan hooch talking, though. (I’m currently in Central America)

 +5Posted on Dec 11th, 2009 | re: R.I.P. Flight Of The Conchords (53 comments)

“Doggy do’s and doggy don’ts, doggy wills and doggy won’ts” is one of the greatest lines on the show (from a song that wasn’t even sung by Bret and Jemaine). Mind you, every single lyric in “Business Time” comes extremely close.