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thepurplemonk
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 +1Posted on Aug 2nd, 2012 | re: This Guy Is Looking For An Internet Or Real Life Girlfriend (25 comments)

FAKE AND SAD :(

Pros: Unlike adults, they are easy to overpower
Cons: EVERYTHING.

You, R2, are welcome.

 +9Posted on Jun 8th, 2011 | re: That's Your 13-Year-Old: Katy Perry (49 comments)

In Katy Perry’s newest video, her bra is made out of orthodontic equipment.

 +15Posted on Jun 7th, 2011 | re: Facebook Friend Tattoo And Tattoos In General (113 comments)

I’d something something my needle something THAT tattoo artist, amirite?

 +11Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: Zachary Briggs IS Available For Your Porn Movie (47 comments)

I think it’s a little more complicated than that.

 +24Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: Middle School Yearbook's Hilarious "Five Worst People" (57 comments)

Yeah, I don’t really understand the furor behind the whole thing. They’re just babies! If they want to put in some controversial list, let ‘em do it! They trying to be baby Woodwards and Bernsteins! It’s cute!

 +10Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: Middle School Yearbook's Hilarious "Five Worst People" (57 comments)

In my house, there was never any contest. We had to watch O’Reilly BEFORE homework to counteract the liberal brainwashing I got at school. #teapartyparents #ithinkiturnedoutok

 +35Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: Middle School Yearbook's Hilarious "Five Worst People" (57 comments)

Shameless ploy for Editor’s Choice!

The real five best people are:
Gabe
Kelly
Gabe
Kelly
Birdie

 +4Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: Middle School Yearbook's Hilarious "Five Worst People" (57 comments)

Nosarcasmo sounds like El Zorro’s snarky sidekick.

 +30Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: Middle School Yearbook's Hilarious "Five Worst People" (57 comments)

Whatever. When we’re living in a war-torn hellscape brought on by our own follies, we’ll have another name for middle school yearbooks: kindling.

 +3Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Gathering Of The Juggalos (72 comments)

Why the downvotes everybody? Was it because of pussy-fart? I bet it was pussy-fart. The preferred nomenclature is queef, GWG. If you stick to that, I think you’ll be safe.

 +45Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Gathering Of The Juggalos (72 comments)

The hell he will. Gabe’s got friends in every town and village from here to the Ozarks, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he’ll blend in, disappear, you’ll never see him again. With any luck, he’s at the Gathering already.

 +1Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (89 comments)

Your avatar is the best!

 +3Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (89 comments)

Congrats, buddy!

 +5Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (89 comments)

Congrats! We’re job finding buddies!

 +3Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (89 comments)

I’m by the seat of my pants kind of guy (so cool, I know), but I’ll be at Arlene’s Grocery in NYC tonight.

 +20Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (89 comments)

TGIF! you guys! Guess what? I got a new job! I’m not sure what that’s going to mean for my VGum commenting future, but rest assured, if things go quiet, I’ll always be lurking in your HEARTS!

P.S. If you see me out this weekend, drinks are on me!

Gif time? Gif time!

 +3Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: The Videogum Movie Club Reminder: X-Men: First Class (23 comments)

Not to be all snobgum, but I have not been excited for these movie club entries recently. Maybe it’s because of summer? I’m going to blame summer.

 +16Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Now You, Too, Can Finally Smell Like Jared Leto (49 comments)

Wait is your boyfriend Jared Leto?

 +2Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: This Week In GIFs (88 comments)

That’s a problem for me, too! I tend to pass on making jokes in fear that my Internet delivery won’t subtlety and nuance my IRL delivery might have. Not that I claim to be all that subtle, but you get it.

 +17Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: This Week In GIFs (88 comments)

Sorry. I couldn’t resist.

 +15Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: This Week In GIFs (88 comments)

Yeah, I agree. I’m not the biggest gifaholic. More like a social giffer (I can stop any time I want). But sometimes you really want that punch of movement that only a gif can gif you.

 +11Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: George Plimpton's Video Falconry (28 comments)

How are you so good at being the first commenter. You should change your name to firsttaco.

 +10Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Drunk Herstory With Sarah Palin: Paul Revere's Ride (95 comments)

I think if there’s one thing we know after 20 years of music, it’s that character motivations and plot development aren’t the Beastie Boys’ strong point

 +14Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Drunk Herstory With Sarah Palin: Paul Revere's Ride (95 comments)

I thought it was pretty simple.

Adrock is on a horse with some beer. He’s running from the law for sexing (raping?) the sherriff’s daughter with a wiffle ball bat (maybe the bat is his penis). MCA is dying of thirst and wants his beer and sticks him up. So they join forces and go to a bar, where they meet Mike D and rob the place, and take some ladies and brew, B-boy style.