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What does she even mean by “at work,” anyway?
But Obama promised he’d be different, and I assumed that meant in every conceivable way, all the time! It’s really the hypocrisy that’s the problem.
That sounds GREAT.
My wife wrote a fake review and granted me the pepper. The whole review was “I think Professor [So-and-so] is HOT.”
I believe you are required to leave out the indefinite article when making joke like this.
I was going to upvote this because it seems basically correct, but then I noticed something odd — there’s only an up button and no down button.
So, what’s your secret Jeb? How can we trust that you aren’t using this “science” against us?
Now that the Bechdel test is a standard rating we can start introducing other heuristics to determine whether a movie is good or not.
Like the de Grasse Tyson test would determine if the laws of physics are adhered to throughout the entire film.
I’m a grown-ass man and I totally have a murse that is the same size and shape.
ascii art fail
god damn you youtube video music awards and goodbye world.
that link don’t work
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People in the Bay Area begin to become very conformist and boring. When they see somebody from out of town they point and say “hey, who’s that?” The schools have the best test scores in the whole state.
A family learns that their house was built on a cemetery. Eventually they just get used to the idea. “What difference does it make,” they say, “once you are dead, you are dead. And we’ve still got $240K left on the mortgage.”
Hey I just figured it out. Make the grid global so that at night you can draw solar power from Australia.
NOBEL PRIZE, PLEASE
Well TO BE FAIR (because on the internet you must always be fair) there are some downsides. Quality control on a lot of brands is pretty low, so the things won’t always save you money. They are kind of toxic, from what I understand, so they create a new disposal problem. Aesthetically they don’t generate the same color light, and some people hate that. And lights are really a very small portion of your energy consumption so they don’t make that big a difference.
But yeah, given all that I like them fine and I am really excited for the future of LED lights, so fuck all the non-CFL people.
Cohen: “So what do you think of Super Duper Weenie?”
Fieri: “What, is that a hot dog stand?”
Cohen: “Yes, it’s great. In my opinion its the best hot dog stand in Fairfield County. We should totally go there.”
Fieri: “Welp, you are paying me lots of money, so sure what the hell.”
Cohen: “See? This Dixie dog is spicy and delicious! And isn’t it cool how they do a swirly chocolate and vanilla shake?”**
Fieri: “And I see that the place is already quite popular and filled to capacity. I’m going to put this on my show and fuck everything up!”
Cohen: “Excellent! You’re the best friend I ever had!”
** This is true. Exit 25 off of I-95 in CT, yo.
This sounds terrible because the piano is designed for human fingers. Give that elephant some musical logs and an oversized splash bucket and LOOK OUT. Elephant rock and roll.*
Still only sounds good to elephants.
I work on the garden for our building, and I’ve been encouraging the resident kids to decorate pumpkins for our little display with hay bales and stuff. So for days I’ve been geeking out over the best way to light them with LEDS, spending scads on money at radio shack and studying up on how resistors work etc. But tonight SHIT IS LIT UP YO.
Do you find it… risible… when I say the name… ‘Suq’…”Madiq”…?
He has parents, too, you know. You know what they’re called?
Buddy is thinking “Can I have a cookie?”
Or maybe that’s just what I’m thinking and I’m projecting it onto Buddy.
Heh yeah that barber shop sketch was a huge dud. Also, Bruce’s Michael Kors impression blows, and not in the good way.
I love how they are like “We did it! That’s hilarious” and the grownups are like “Keep fighting!”
OK, here’s my theory. It’s really a stationary camera on a tripod. None of the people are in the same shot. He’s just firing knives into space, she’s flipping around her paddles, who knows whats up with pineapple guy, and innocent bystander is obviously staged. Camera wobble is added with After Effects.
Wouldn’t the winner just be Helen Mirren every single year?
To be fair, that lunch looks awesome.