“…and this is my medal which I won in the War on Christmas”

“Mr Santorum… that’s a piece of tinsel on a safety pin”

“YOU WEREN’T THERE MAN, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE”

Actually, fuck subtlety. Rick Santorum is one of the worst human beings there is and he is holding the rest of us back with his immoral, degrading, fucking despicable ideals, and I just want him to go away. I don’t want to see him any more. How can I not be a cynic when guys like this are running for the most powerful political position in the world and fucking GETTING SUPPORT.

Rick Santorum: Keeping the advanced alien species from wanting to contact us since 1958

OK, can we get some confirmation on this, was that Keira Knightley making out with Gillian Jacobs in the End Of The World trailer? IMPORTANT BUSINESS.

Bears have began to defecate in appropriate public restrooms, and the Pope has renounced his Catholicism. More on that story later.

It is times like this where I almost wish that nerds would just stop caring. I mean caring about things you like is great. It’s an important part of making life worth living. But caring to the point where every tiny piece of information about a project that may or may not be happening has to be discussed and passed around and considered and reconsidered. And everybody has to have their opinion on this new non-development.

But it’s the Internet’s constant clamour for more information, like the guy from Monty Python, we know that one more wafer-thin piece of meaningless information will kill us but we can’t help ourselves. Who’s working on what project? We demand to know that. The cast of a movie with no script that won’t come out for 3 years even if it isn’t abandoned? We demand to know that. Can we not just stop caring? Can’t we enjoy Blade Runner as it is without sequels or prequels or spin-offs or remakes? Isn’t that enough?

This doesn’t sound quite right. I’m gonna go with the Oscars are to movies what killing in the name of religion is to Buddhism.

What’s that Sean Bean movie where he puts on an American accent?

I feel like the bumbling, oblivious, extra-wheel who has accidentally earned his time-travel stripes from an old pro.

Do I get extra-special bonus time-travel joke points for claiming that Frank Lloyd Wrong stole this off of me?