Fine wines over here

“My nostrils look like eye sockets.”

The only MEN in my life I can count on are Ben and Jerry! Am I right, girls?

Haha, shopping!

Seriously! And I’m usually not a Gordon-Levitt kind of gal, but JGL in a tight suit, fist fighting in zero gravity is just James Franco eating pie.

Is that the unfunny romantic comedy where she plays a sexist stereotype and sets women back 15 years?

I love the imagery of pulling jokes off of a shelf.

And I like the idea of jokes as tangible things. It makes me think that Nick Madson snuck onto Patton Oswalt’s joke farm late one night and wrangled some jokes. Now Madson is trying to sell these stolen jokes and no one’s buying them since the jokes just look dejected and bitter, because the jokes know that Madson is not their master.

I feel like I could have used the word ‘jokes’ more in this post. Jokes.

I remember in my 4th grade music class if you had experience, you were allowed to play a song on the piano at the end of class. There were a number of kids in the class that had probably had lessons straight out of the womb and would proceed to play Mozart, Chopin, etc. Despite my inexperience, I got sick of watching one day and sat down at the piano. I played a lovely duet of Chopsticks and Hot Cross Buns, peppered with missed and off-key notes. It didn’t go over well – my music teacher sent me to the principal’s office for being dishonest about having piano lessons. I haven’t touched a piano since, and that fateful day still haunts my memory.

I could play the shit out of Bah Bah Black Sheep on recorder though.