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the narrator
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I’ve been saying this for years, “People who wear cowboy hats kill people.”
Could you hold the yogurt closer to the camera? I’m having trouble reading the top.
“She was asking for it.” – The mother being interviewed by police
He played music videos on MTV instead of this show.
I thought we were calling Kelly, “Gabe” and Gabe, “Hard-Gabe.”
Why is glass always fucking with the animal kingdom?
Get a hobby, glass!
I was walking in a store one day, when I heard, “I’d hit that.” I knew that I just met my future wife.
It was the perfect line.
The real winner is the Metric System.
of your EXs.*
How the hell did over sneak in there?
I have a feeling that I would not be interested in any over your EXs.
Guy Code accomplished.
Will these talking vagina commercials ever stop?
I’ll allow it.
You should, my wife is an e-whore.
It has been a while since I’ve been in the Ball.
Probably a double major.
I like to think I’m educated and I say fuck all the time.
NO, Abracadabra, NO, Too SEXY
Did James Franco need another job really?
You should I have rope and some “wood”.
We can have some fun.
You know what people don’t remember fondly?
Jungle Gyms.
How did I not die falling off those things on to concrete?
And who the hell thought concrete under a climbing area was a good idea?
Now I have a way to act out my cannibalistic tendencies in a safe and legal way.
“I really don’t care about y’alls super witty offhand remarks that you actually spent 30 minutes coming up with in your cubicle/dorm/parent’s house.”
He called us super witty, YAY!
Homophobia is gay.
New Girl