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That Clever Guy
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And so begins yet another disappointing afternoon of catching myself every five minutes subconsciously jamming out to “I AM — AMERICAAA — ONE VOICE — UNITED WE STAND!”
Sunny was weak, agreed, but didn’t this make up for it?
This line and the way Nick Offerman delivered it. Holy crap. I laughed my ass off all the way through the opening credits.
Time to introduce Rick’s travel-writer cousin into the cast:
I give this episode one zombie, because THAT’S EXACTLY HOW MANY APPEARED IN IT. The writers seem to think the show they’re writing for is called “The Boring, Immensely Unlikable Living.”
She’s already schilling for Fiat, Kohl’s, and Venus razors — WHERE is J-Lo going to find the time to star in this movie?
“Great. Now Terror Babies can be trained pilots, too.” —Tea Partier, probably
Don’t need a force field. Just make sure all visitors to the Zombie Oasis Farmhouse, Hospital & Fresh Store-Bought Bread Sandwich Shop close the gate after driving in.
The One With the Pig That Thinks It’s a Dog
Michael Moore doubles down + he is fat =
This video deserves a special seal of approval:
Gretchen must really think handicap-accessible requirements are OUTRAGEOUS, since handicapped people are only a tiny percentage of society.
I really hope he continues with his pithy remarks at The Atlantic Wire.
She has connections to another Bruce, too. When she visits the hairdresser, she asks for the “Vilanch”:
“The larger point here is that EVERYTHING is changing because of a tiny percentage of society. And by EVERYTHING, I mean a couple floors of a dormitory building at a tiny, private liberal arts college in Iowa.” —Gretchen Carlson, lemon-scented floor mop
(HT to Richard Lawson: http://gawker.com/5693663/little-kid-says-he-went-to-heaven-adult-news-professional-totally-believes-him)
All that robot needs is a Hugh Jackman to whip it into shape.
Dane in Real Life
$h*! My Dane Says
OR he’ll be the Rockefeller of confetti barons.
Three words, Elton: Mars Needs Moms.
New York’s hottest new club is Spook. Club owner Blaise N. Gulfing has created a sanctuary that answers the question, “Question?” This place has everything: cooties, white chocolate toes, the annoying guy from the State Farm commercials and human pinball machines! Human pinball machines? You know, it’s that thing where you put seven midgets inside hamster balls and let them roll around the dance floor while people in their underwear freak dance to a club version of “Whistle While You Work.”
Wait. So this ISN’T awesome? It’s like a human Rube Goldberg machine!
Apparently I typed “out” instead of “his mouth.” Whoops! Classic Monday!
Too soon?