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 +3Posted on Mar 18th, 2009 | re: Now You, Too, Can Create An Infuriating Lost Mystery (5 comments)

I’ve not heard the others but I did know Frozen Donkey Wheel. How did I hear that one? Sepinwall, maybe. I know I got my favorite Lost term from Sepinwall and that is that the showrunners call the non-main cast survivors “socks.” In the laundry machine that is each episode, a few socks always disappear. Eventually you have to fly in some new socks from Guam. Socks. Anyway, I vote for “Thousand Island Undressing,” “Animatronic Zombie Pirates (shit! spoiler, sorry)” or “Jughead vs the Delorean.”

 +1Posted on Mar 5th, 2009 | re: Creepy Promo Demonstrates Toilet's Amazing Flushing Technology (19 comments)

I know, right? I want this to be my wallpaper – way better than fishtank or fireplace.

 +1Posted on Mar 4th, 2009 | re: Is This A McDonald's Commercial Or A PETA Commercial? (7 comments)

When you mentioned Sopranos and then also they gave each other that look and the fish was so annoying, I thought for sure that guy was going to drill that fish through the brain and shut it up for good.

 +1Posted on Feb 25th, 2009 | re: The Daily Show Reveals That Obama Is Keyser Sose (9 comments)

I loved the piece in general, but it irked me that they actually said Keyser Soze during the looking at the bulletin board dropping the coffee cup part. Don’t explain the jokes, Daily Show!

 +4Posted on Feb 20th, 2009 | re: Lost: New Losties! (35 comments)

Commercial flights have 2 pilots in the cockpit – the Captain and the First Officer.

 0Posted on Feb 12th, 2009 | re: Joaquin Phoenix On Letterman Made Joaquin Phoenix Interesting Again (37 comments)

Where’s Norm MacDonald? Dave did a good job but I would have loved to have Norm sitting in the other chair giving Joaquin a ration of shit. Norm, we need you!

 +7Posted on Feb 4th, 2009 | re: Been Had Money Guy Knows His Audience (16 comments)

He been had a nice house, too. I think this is a clip from MTV’s new show “Walletz.” A step up from last week’s episode, when T.I. gave a tour of his prison wallet (shudder).

 +1Posted on Jan 30th, 2009 | re: Nip/Tuck Is Stupid (16 comments)

Jokes on her, then, cuz that’s the wrong boob.

 +1Posted on Jan 29th, 2009 | re: Top Chef: It's The Super Bowl, Not The Scallops Bowl (21 comments)

Jeff can’t quiet the creative monkeys because they are all screaming while Fabio stuffs bananas in their asses and (over)cooks them (a delicious accompaniment to toast and bullshit eggs). Third monkey reference this season, which I suspect is foreshadowing for the finale which will be set in the Temple of Doom. Jeff would have lost anyway with his overly complicated “Monkey 12 Ways.” Stefan will win with his deconstructed monkey (drink!)

 +2Posted on Jan 29th, 2009 | re: George The Physics Major Humiliates The American Idol Judges (20 comments)

Hee, absolutely. He wants a house with floors! He’s tired of stupid sand!

 0Posted on Jan 28th, 2009 | re: Maybe Taken Will Take Down Paul Blart This Weekend (10 comments)

It’s the same one. She died her hair. And I’m betting this movie is less about acting and more about “preventing” and also probably “negotiating” as well as whatever you call it when you jab hooks in a guys legs to get information (24).

I think it says “every child deserves a slave”

 +2Posted on Jan 26th, 2009 | re: It's Still Okay That Edie Falco's New Show Looks Like House (11 comments)

Isn’t the line between saint and sinner called being an average person? Or is it that most of us are plain old sinners and only a special few get to walk the line?

 +5Posted on Jan 22nd, 2009 | re: Lost: What's In The Sandwich?! (19 comments)

or Mustardayonnaise

 0Posted on Jan 15th, 2009 | re: The Informers: Get Totally Psyched (16 comments)

That would explain why the beginning made me think of The Lost Boys

 +4Posted on Jan 15th, 2009 | re: Kids Homoerotically Fuck With The Principal On TV The Darndest Things (41 comments)

This show is not set in this nation I think. “Meter-stick?” This is what happens in Canada. In the States the principal is all “Chuck, you need to quit raping girls and also put out that joint” and then Chuck orders some hookers and takeout for the principal to get him off his back. He still says “Have fun at dinner” as he leaves, though.

 +1Posted on Jan 14th, 2009 | re: Hey Hollywood, How About You DON'T Remake East Of Eden (7 comments)

Well of course it is silly and unecessary and all the money they spend to make it is not being spent on an original idea that might have been good but in the end, I don’t know if it really ruins anything. The remake of Psycho didn’t really hurt the classic Psycho, right? The original is still the one we think of (I think of) when someone says Psycho and it is still loved and considered a classic.

And for every 100 stupid and pointless remakes we get a Battlestar Galactica or Carpenter’s The Thing or Cronenberg’s The Fly.

 +4Posted on Jan 14th, 2009 | re: M/F/K: The New Real Housewife Of New York (3 comments)

We don’t really give our clothes collective nouns (stack? closetful?) like we do our animals. Why not start? A colony of socks, a jingle of pants, a collaboration of sweaters… who’s with me?

 +5Posted on Jan 13th, 2009 | re: Gossip Girl: Blood Is More Of An Asshole Than Water (33 comments)

I thought maybe that tattoo was a hawk for his stupid band but the tail is wrong. If wish it had been a tattoo of Lincoln’s head on a hawk body. Or a giant Brody Jenner style “Humphrey” on his torso.

I can understand that shame-baby’s parents would want to protect him from the horrible parenting of his bio-mom and bio-Rufus but shouldn’t the kid be like 19 or older anyway? Isn’t it too late to buy him back even if that were a thing that happens?

 0Posted on Jan 13th, 2009 | re: Imagine A World In Which Viral Videos Weren't All Gay Retards (9 comments)

Ha that was wonderful. Are the rest of them all posted together somewhere?

 +2Posted on Jan 9th, 2009 | re: 30 Rock: Peter Dinklage Steals Salma Hayek's Spotlight (31 comments)

I don’t know if it’s the accent or that she has bad comedic timing and rushed almost all her lines but she was sucky. That cleavage dress was pretty funny though. But really, Dinklage was great and will not be back and Hayak sucked and is returning. Poopy!

 0Posted on Jan 6th, 2009 | re: Gossip Girl: Rufus Humphrey Is A Terrible Father (24 comments)

What is up with Dan’s wierd purple fingernail (in the kissing gif)? Is he wearing nail polish? Oxygen deprived (likely)? Is he some kind of stupid twilight vampire? Wait, that would explain why Rufus leaves the kids alone all the time – they may look like kids but really they are 200 years old.

 0Posted on Jan 5th, 2009 | re: The Ramen Girl: Star Wars, But With Ramen (19 comments)

Well this looks horrible but it is kind of awesome that her mentor is the guy from Tampopo.

 0Posted on Dec 17th, 2008 | re: I Love You, Man Looks So Much Better Now (14 comments)

Mom, is that you? Why is your internet name Shane?

 +1Posted on Dec 16th, 2008 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Perfect (52 comments)

Or Swordfish, with Pee-Pants Jackman AND Junk-Thruster Travolta.