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 +33Posted on Oct 5th, 2010 | re: This Wedding Video Is Incredible (91 comments)

I didn’t even want to have a wedding, but my parents eloped which means my mother was entitled to demand that I have a wedding, or something, and she pleaded with me. So I caved in and had one even though I’m not big on weddings either and it was really nice, actually, and I like to look at pictures of it because it was one of the happiest days of my life. Sorry, folks. It’s not about reassuring anyone that I have worth, because let’s face it, stupid, ugly, jerkoff people get married every day. I just like to look at my husband’s face because it makes me happy. Also my kids’! (The happiest day of my life was when my second child was born, because it just seemed like I had been given everything I’d ever wanted in life: a great husband, a son, and then a daughter. )

 0Posted on Oct 5th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Bride Wars (143 comments)

The thing about offensive terminology is that it’s offensive no matter how awful the person being reviled actually is.

And on a site where the writer is pretty free with calling people racists and anti-Semites, it would be nice if the offensively sexist terms were gone, too. Just sayin.

 +8Posted on Oct 5th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Bride Wars (143 comments)

I do wish Gabe wouldn’t use the See You Next Tuesday word to describe women, because I’m a humorless feminist and it’s offensive. Sorry.

 +14Posted on Sep 14th, 2010 | re: One Lord Of The Rings Trilogy Blu Ray DVD Giveaway To Rule Them Ugh (221 comments)

You can have my One Ring that I bought for my nine year old son from the Noble Collection, gold plated over silver, which he wore without taking off while he grew and had to be cut off at the mall earring kiosk, which I’m pretty sure is what Sauron wants.

 +8Posted on Sep 13th, 2010 | re: Mad Men S04E08: Don Draper Writes Down The Bones (95 comments)

In the back of a cab, with a taxi driver waiting in the front seat? I’d be pretty surprised myself.

 +16Posted on Sep 13th, 2010 | re: Mad Men S04E08: Don Draper Writes Down The Bones (95 comments)

“Her? I look like a low-rent version of her, even to my hairstyle!”

 +3Posted on Sep 10th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Sad Don Draper Meme (207 comments)

The picture is not funny.

Would it be funny if it were superimposed against the WTC collapsing? No.

Too soon?

OK, would it be funny if it were superimposed on those prisoners being liberated from Auschwitz?

No.

So why is it supposedly funny because it’s Vietnam? Because the WTC and the Holocaust are sacrosanct, but napalming children in Vietnam is good for a laugh?

 +1Posted on Jun 21st, 2010 | re: Stanley Kubrick Vs. Martin Scorsese (32 comments)

I’ve seen both–Barry Lyndon’s pretty awful too. I guess I just hoped for more from Gangs–my ancestors come from the Five Points, actually.

I guess he shouldn’t have put actual slum children in the movie and just used Asian child actors. Then, certainly, these kids would be a lot better off than they are now.

 0Posted on Jun 21st, 2010 | re: Stanley Kubrick Vs. Martin Scorsese (32 comments)

That reminded me how many dogs Scorsese made. Gangs of New York, Marty? Sigh.

 0Posted on Jun 7th, 2010 | re: Seinfeld Is Now A Crime Against Humanity, Basically (61 comments)

Say what you will about Microsoft, at least Bill Gates is using his money to try to stamp out malaria and bring people water, rather than building the world’s biggest yacht.

 0Posted on May 26th, 2010 | re: Lost S06E18: Series Finale. R.I.P. (388 comments)

I liked the finale, but I think comparisons to LotR or Star Wars aren’t apt. Those stories were fantasy-adventures. The premise is laid out at the beginning: rings, Sauron, Mount Doom, the Force. Then the emphasis is on the young man learning and growing into a hero during the plot.

Lost is more analogous to a mystery, where the focus is on solving the puzzles. What is that big noisy thing killing people and knocking down trees? Polar bears? What’s with the hieroglyphs? Candidates for WHAT? It seems to me the Lost writers mixed their genres, and saying the story is essentially character-driven at the end really doesn’t satisfy people.

More like Taylor WACKford, am I right folks?