Find Me On:
huzzah! made it to 1:14! a new personal record !
one time we were sitting in front of some teenagers who were throwing popcorn at us throughout the whole movie. instead of causing a scene, i stockpiled all the popcorn that hit me, added it to my bag of popcorn, and at the end of the movie stood up before they did, turned around, and dumped the whole bag on their heads.
also who knew that emily dickinson looked like that? not how i pictured her at all
hey, give gabe a break. he’s probably really tired from being so angry and wound up about everything. “Look at this picture of a kid holding a flower. So stupid. Flowers are so unoriginal. They’re not particularly funny, or cute, and they die in like two days. And i mean, really? A kid holding a flower? The cliche train is in town, hop on folks. You might as well have the kid holding a teddy bear. NAZIS liked flowers, you know. Nazis also had kids.”
Monster’s Ball: No one gets lowest rated comment and gifs are allowed
the book is 4839010218395092 x worse than the movie.
Scarlett (who narrates) wishes death on her children several times.
SEVERAL TIMES. says “I just wish they were dead.” BAM. she also wished death on: her husband, her best friend and her lover.
oh, also, you know how she owned that mill? well in the book, she let the manager of the mill BEAT THE EMPLOYEES TO DEATH. Because they were prisoners so who cares.
and no, you cannot convince me that the slaves “liked slavery” because they are “like children or pets and need to be taken care of.”
deadwood *sigh* we just finished the last season of deadwood yesterday. i teared up <—this is not a lie. why did that cancel that showwwwwww
Satan Tries Bieber
i love oodles! i gotz a schnoodle
<—-he's right there see?
true story: i graduated high school with a girl who had 3 (!) children. also i watched a pregnant girl get a glass bottle broken over her head in a fight. also our homecoming queen was pregnant. our school taught sex ed. we also had those fancy babies that had computers in them and cried and whatnot. but sex ed was in 5th grade, and they let you return the baby if it “cried too much.” so maybe sex ed + reasonableness is what we really need
remember celia hodes in the first season of weeds and how she kept telling her daughter she was fat? remember how she exchanged her chocolate bars for laxatives? that’s like this only that show is make believe and it didn’t really happen but this did really happen and someone videotaped it and put it on national television for us all to watch.
*and don’t hear
i have started dreaming of the day when i go to a play or a wedding or a FUNERAL and hear at the beginning “please put your cellphones on silent”
1. someone has DIED. they are never coming back and this is your last chance to say goodbye. that being said, please turn down your lady gaga ring tone until after the ceremony.
2. we are no longer at the point where “turn OFF your cellphones” is a reasonable request. we are so addicted to them that people must ask them to simply turn them on silent, because turning them off is absolutely out of the question. much less, oh, i don’t know, LEAVE YOUR PHONE IN THE CAR IF THERE IS GOING TO BE A DEAD BODY IN THE ROOM
apologies for the vitriol, but i recently went to a funeral where not only was this request made, but a cellphone WENT OFF DURING THE FUNERAL
whenever i’m around people like this kid (and i was a dance major so ive been around my share of people like this, nocapezio-o) i get completely EXHAUSTED for them. like, you are hooked up to a microphone dude, you don’t need to be singing to the rafters every time you talk. we can hear you. and see you, btw, so calm down Gesturedamas. also, people like this kid act like that ALL THE TIME, even when they’re not on stage/camera. they’re always “on.” and i just want to be like “don’t you get TIRED? don’t you realize no one else is looking at you and even if they were, it’s just because you’re SO EFFING LOUD that they can’t hear their own conversation? don’t you see we are at a pub and there are no hollywood producers here to ‘discover’ you? don’t you see that i am wearing sweatpants and therefore could give a shit about myself, much less you?” Uffff. EXHAUSTING.
facetaco doesn’t look so good
did you say sledding?
that story is why i loooove the “hide” button
all i remember from that movie is the little girl saying “Mom! Is there something wrong with my poop?” laughs and laughs forever . bc poop.
well gifs dont like me today. this is what i meant to put before my double failure of failingness
that dog is officially invited to be on my bank robbery team. he will be in charge of “the getaway” (am i the only one that daydreams about robbing a bank?)
poor birdie stuck in a basket on the wall watching this lunatic over enunciate
hey, you may laugh, but poor kesha hasn’t been invited to a bridal shower for years because she keeps eating the fake wedding dresses.
you have a point.
here, have another biscuit.
also, that dog could be on the side of the arc. it’s ears are long enough.