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Sick In The Gulliver
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 +6Posted on Feb 15th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Armageddon (115 comments)

Let’s paint, exercise, and watch TV in the barn!

 +5Posted on Feb 11th, 2010 | re: A Juggalo's Guide To Parenting (52 comments)

But when he looks in the mirror, he sees:

 +1Posted on Jan 28th, 2010 | re: Liveblogging Jay Leno On Oprah (54 comments)

Then your avatar should be Jen. She’s the one who likes Oprah.

 +4Posted on Jan 12th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Notebook (129 comments)

I read about some guy walking around Comic Con last year dressed like Wash with a pole through his chest and a sign that said “Fuck you, Joss!” which is true because there was really no reason to kill him, but now he gets to be evil Alpha which is probably more fun.

And I recommend What Women Want because it is on my teevee right now and it is most definitely the WORST.

 -3Posted on Jan 12th, 2010 | re: Netflix FAIL (64 comments)

No, it’s depressing movies with sports and Kevin Corrigan in a supporting role. I’m going with Lonesome Jim, where Corrigan is Casey Affleck’s brother and a suicidal basketball coach.

 +2Posted on Jan 8th, 2010 | re: Jersey Shore S01E06: Human Nightmares After All (43 comments)

I keep saying, people sleeping on Paulie.

 0Posted on Jan 7th, 2010 | re: An Interview With Self-Potato! (40 comments)

Or as they say in Germany, “Selbst-Kartoffeln.” German is just a beautiful language.

 +5Posted on Jan 7th, 2010 | re: KFC Has A Proud History All Right, Of Racist Advertising! (121 comments)

The explanation is that right now the West Indian cricket team is touring Australia in a series of matches (some of which last for days!) that began in November and will end in February. This guy went to see the game and ended up in a part of the stadium surrounded by supporters of the other team. Don’t look at the color of the skin, look at the shirts.

 +8Posted on Jan 7th, 2010 | re: KFC Has A Proud History All Right, Of Racist Advertising! (121 comments)

And I might point out that the West Indies and Australia are currently in the midst of a series of matches that began in November and will last until the end of February, so it’s actually about something happening in Australia right now. It’s cricket, jump into cricket.

 0Posted on Jan 7th, 2010 | re: Diablo Cody's Mind No Longer A Selling Point (30 comments)

I remember watching part of an interview with Diablo Cody on Showtime just before United States of Tara was starting, and she was all, “I love words and their meanings,” and on like that for a while. And that is a good quality in a writer! Like the contestants on Top Chef who “love flavors.” That is a good quality is a chef!
Personally, I hate both words and flavors, which is why all I ever eat is plain grits off of my print journalism degree. But I love Public Enemy? I’m so confused.

 +7Posted on Jan 6th, 2010 | re: Bear Grylls Gives Himself An Enema. The End. (44 comments)

Hmm, an English guy giving himself an enema or a Canadian guy playing harmonica. So many choices! (This is why they hate us for our freedom.)

 +4Posted on Dec 21st, 2009 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Avatar (125 comments)

It’s funny to me that the one movie in recent years that approached native culture eschewing the “white guy goes native” approach was Apocalypto – a movie that was simultaneously interesting and awful – which was done by Mel “Sugar Tits” Gibson, the one guy in Hollywood we know is racist.
I guess the opposite of Dances With Wolves might be something like Oliver Stone’s Heaven and Earth, in which a Vietnamese peasant girl comes to America and becomes a successful businesswoman.

 -1Posted on Dec 21st, 2009 | re: Saturday Night Live: James Franco Is A Spitter (33 comments)

Enhance.

 0Posted on Dec 20th, 2009 | re: What Is The Catchphrase Of The Decade? (162 comments)

shock and awe

Huh? “Get Snickered?” “Get Snackabled?” Whatever it was you said.

 +19Posted on Dec 17th, 2009 | re: Hey, What's Up With Topher Grace? (53 comments)

Gracist!

 +3Posted on Dec 16th, 2009 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Routine Traffic Stop Lady (56 comments)

This should be the soundtrack to Jersey Shore.

 +2Posted on Dec 16th, 2009 | re: Little Chocolatiers Is A Real Show That Exists (57 comments)

TLC now stands for The Littlest Channel.

Rap, rap, rappity-rap!
Rap, rap, rappity-rap!

What I really want to see is what happens immediately after that guy punches Snackables. I especially want to see if the Situation steps up and throws a few. And of course, I need the Pauly D recap, which always seems to perfectly encapsulate the meandering drama within a concise statement explaining what all this means to Pauly D. i.e. “The fact that JWoww broke up with her boyfriend, it just means that she’ll feel less guilty now when she hooks up with me.” Perfect.

 +12Posted on Dec 14th, 2009 | re: What Is The Catchphrase Of The Decade? (162 comments)

I’m pretty sure the Lord of the Rings catchphrase is this.

 +1Posted on Dec 10th, 2009 | re: Hey, What's Up With Topher Grace? (41 comments)

Watching The Jeff Dunham Show is making this puppet sad in so many ways.

 +9Posted on Dec 9th, 2009 | re: Seriousgum Presents Rachel Maddow's Interview Of Richard Cohen (100 comments)

People like to think they are special or better than other people, but don’t like having to work too hard. Only about 5% of people are gay, so it leaves 95% of people who can be flattered by telling them they are awesome for being straight. For example, I haven’t been gay all day, and I haven’t even really been trying. I am totally going to heaven.

 +16Posted on Dec 8th, 2009 | re: Men Of A Certain Age Is Surprisingly Decent For A Bunch Of Grandpas! (32 comments)

I am a doooly appointed federal old person.

 +6Posted on Dec 4th, 2009 | re: Brooklyn We Go Hard: The Movie (36 comments)

I am a dooly appointed federal cheedle.