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starman
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 +4Posted on Jan 27th, 2011 | re: Thursday, January 27th, Ends With Kidz Bop Covering Usher (70 comments)

UGH. Kidz today. Need to get off my goddamn lawn.

 0Posted on Jan 27th, 2011 | re: Thursday, January 27th, Ends With Kidz Bop Covering Usher (70 comments)

If Kidz Bop existed just a little bit earlier in human history, they could have done something clever with that… something about Generation X Plays YYZ… I don’t know.

Besides, I think this kid already has it covered:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XsYuHbXZUk

 +15Posted on Jan 27th, 2011 | re: Thursday, January 27th, Ends With Kidz Bop Covering Usher (70 comments)

So what really confuses me about this video is why they keep showing kids standing around pretending to play guitars and basses and stuff, when NO SUCH INSTRUMENTS EXIST IN THE SONG. I mean, I’m a crotchety old young man and have been grumbling for years about how no one in music videos bothers to sync their playing to the music anymore these days, but COME ON. Those instruments aren’t even in the song. UGH.

 0Posted on Jan 27th, 2011 | re: That's Your Adrian Grenier: Adrian Grenier In Adventures Of Power (64 comments)

I cannot honestly tell how serious you are being with this comment, so I’ll just say to be careful, mister. You are on some thin ice here.

 +4Posted on Jan 27th, 2011 | re: That's Your Adrian Grenier: Adrian Grenier In Adventures Of Power (64 comments)

No, Country Music already existed, thisismynightmare.

 +3Posted on Jan 27th, 2011 | re: We Are All Doing It Wrong (71 comments)

Actually I’m pretty sure she’s had a pussy for WAAAY longer than she’s had her money.

Not that some worthless pantie-clad upskirt shot would give us any evidence one way or another on that.

 +33Posted on Jan 27th, 2011 | re: We Are All Doing It Wrong (71 comments)

Guys, we are all going to barricade ourselves in a building for an entire night to practice until we are as good as this guy.

Do you see where I am going with this?

It will be a pop-and-lock-in!

 +3Posted on Jan 27th, 2011 | re: Old Spice Guy Is Back, Too! Everyone Is Back! (41 comments)

See, these ads made me WANT to wear Old Spice, but to me the point of deodorant (emphasis on the “de”) has always been to make one not smell, rather than to cover up one smell with another, more powerful smell. Old Spice is basically cheap armpit perfume, is what I’m saying. I’d rather smell like nothing. Which is to say, I’d rather smell clean.

 +4Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: Why We Need A Christian Dictator (123 comments)

You, sir, are a hero.

 +19Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: Why We Need A Christian Dictator (123 comments)

I love it when white Christians complain about having their visions for this country challenged. And also when they talk about how terrible it is when folks become preoccupied with only their own selfish needs. This poor man! No one is hearing the voice of HIS group of people!

 +35Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow Upskirt (283 comments)

You mean you’ve seen the skin next to her vagina? I mean come on, she’s wearing panties. Not that I particularly WANT to see Gwyneth’s Paltr-hole, but I don’t see how this is all that salacious given that it shows nothing that a bikini wouldn’t.

 -2Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Academy Awards Nominees Are Here, So, You Know (111 comments)

I think before he can win an oscar for acting he has to start… you know… acting. Wake me up when that happens.

 +2Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: The Sunset Limited Trailer, You Guys (60 comments)

So in what I see as this trailer’s central metaphor, the “table leg” is the bankability of Samuel L. Jackson, Hollywood is the one that has “got hold to” it, and we are all the collective head which is being beaten, until Hollywood eventually gets tired, puts its foot on us, and pulls it out.

Which is a shame, because I used to like the guy before he started being in every movie and always just kind of playing to what everyone expects from him – i.e. lots of shouting and tirades.

 +4Posted on Jan 24th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Razzie Award Nominees Are Announzzzzzzzzzzz (61 comments)

I have the weirdest boner right now.

 +3Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: Sarah Palin Battle Hymn (77 comments)

’cause when I abandon my elected responsibilities, I ain’t comin’ back!

I found this genuinely upsetting. That kid is going to grow up with some serious traumatic memories.

Of course, we are straying a little bit away from the central issue here, which is why ANYONE thinks eyebrow waxings are a good thing in the first place. I don’t think I’ve ever met a single non-heinous person with waxed eyebrows.

 0Posted on Jan 14th, 2011 | re: FIRST LOOK AT ANDREW GARFIELD IN SPIDER-MAN REBOOT! (64 comments)

Who the fuck is Andrew Garfield?

 +7Posted on Jan 3rd, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Sisyphus Turns 2011 (558 comments)

Just so you know, I think I am forever henceforth going to imagine all of Steve Winwood’s comments being spoken in the Plinkett review voice. It combines two of the best awful things about the internet!

 +1Posted on Dec 24th, 2010 | re: The Best Viral Videos Of 2010: A Retrospective (126 comments)

I’m glad somebody else pointed out the misspelling of “memoriam”, so that I wouldn’t have to, but I’m not gonna lie: it took me a good 30 seconds to parse “hahajknowinwoodo.”

I was like:

haha, ok, got that
j… probably means just, ok
knowin… so he just is knowin something
woodo…. wait, what? Haha, he’s just knowin woodo? Who or what is woodo, and how can I get to know it?

 +8Posted on Dec 20th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: TRON: Legacy (93 comments)

I have a whole Satellite of Love for you and this comment.

 0Posted on Dec 15th, 2010 | re: This Montage Of The Movies Of 2010 Is Wonderful (75 comments)

This has long been one of my favorite things that the internet has ever given me.

 0Posted on Dec 15th, 2010 | re: This Montage Of The Movies Of 2010 Is Wonderful (75 comments)

In principle, I agree 110%. There really is something quite trashy about being entirely dependent on that “oh man I know both of these songs” childish thrill for your success, even if you are quite skilled at combining those songs.

In practice, I have definitely found myself quite enjoying some bits of Girl Talk.

 +1Posted on Dec 10th, 2010 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread: Christmas Specials Edition (198 comments)

Your boyfriend is a lucky man.

 +11Posted on Dec 10th, 2010 | re: This Is A Real Thing That Is Definitely Real Because Someone Said So, So (60 comments)

I think I remember hearing that the fight was being filmed in France, so that at the end of the broadcast they can just put up a title card saying “Fin.”

 +3Posted on Dec 8th, 2010 | re: Aaron Sorkin Vs. Sarah Palin (67 comments)

I herd there was a pun thread going on, so I thought I’d contribute before cooler heads tried to rein[deer] it in. BAM(bi)!