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Derjis Sprongfeld
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http://www.the-consulate.ca
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Huh, I’ve always wondered what would happen if my local lacrosse team started up a heavy metal band…
Uh, I am seriously worried about me, you guys. I work in the TV industry… According to the numbers, I am already dead!!!!!!!
It’s good to see that Tila Tequila has found gainful employment!
I think I put some Mango Chutzpah on my Dal Palak last night.
(HAR! Indian Food jokes!)
Now, I am not normally known for my legendary love of defending the poor choices of parents and their lazy, annoying children, but in fairness, my girlfriend’s friend’s kid is GIANT. And not “obese” giant, but tall and muscular (well, muscular for a kid. I could still beat him in an arm-wrestle). He’s 26 months old, but is constantly mistaken for being 4-5 years old by sneering parents who are all, like, “your son can’t walk yet? what kind of mother are you?”
It’s a good thing black people aren’t allowed to vo—
…………………wait, WHAT?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
The feeling this video gives me in my Star Wars Underoos is pretty much the best thing going.
For those of you not into the whole “math” thing, that means Rebecca Black, with 89 million views (!!!) has earned over $66750 in, what, the past 3 weeks?.
*deep sigh*
OK, look. Normally I’m pretty forgiving when it comes to this kind of stuff; hey, Fred’s not for me, but if he brings some people a small measure of happiness into their otherwise dull, workaday existences, then who am I to judge? I am not the police of what everyone on earth should find funny or entertaining!
Then I read this:
http://www.dailytech.com/YouTube+Shares+More+Than+Videos+It+Produces+Stars+With+SixFigure+Incomes/article19409.htm
And then I looked at my paycheque.
Can someone please post that .GIF of that lady shooting herself in the face? You know, just ’cause.
It’s pretty clear that the reason God is so pissed is that white people are hanging out with people from other ethnicities. NOT IN GOD’S AMERICA, YOU DON’T!!!!!!
This is just like my dad at my Bat Mitzvah.
Sounds like my dad at my Bat Mitzvah.
That nice blonde lady shouldn’t be doing that kind of thing…! SHE’S MARRIED!!!!!!
While some (most) of the points made in the spot are pretty spurious, I find myself hard pressed to argue with the assertion that America’s time as the dominant player on the world stage is coming to an end (if it hasn’t already…)
I say we should ship all of the TPers and assholes off to Alaska, let them secede and form their own nation-state under God or whatever. See how well they do without help from ANY OTHER NATION ON THE PLANET EARTH.
Just please, for the love of god, don’t give them nuclear weapons…
Agreed! Nothing says “genius” like mid-grade vinyl, cardboard and velour! It’s like one of those binders you had in high school, only $40 instead of $2. And minus the Power Rangers on the cover…
“Please Mr. Steve, can we get some water and stale bread…?” http://twitpic.com/45kx1z
p.s. LULZ to Creative Professionals doing design work on a tiny, glossy Macbook Pro screen with poor viewing angles and colour gamut!
If THAT guy got Katy Perry, then maybe there’s hope for us all…
I think we can safely say that this is a FFFFAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEEEE. The voice over sounds too vaguely ethnic, and not uneducated-hillbilly-yokel enough.
Just another typical dessert at the Palin residence.
So, uh, how about that local sports team…?
I don’t really have anything to add here; I had a great zinger for the “Pavement on Ace of Cakes” story, but the comments were closed, so I decided to drop in here and see what was going on.
I’ll, uh, just be over here if you need me.
*Pours himself a Fresca and stands in the corner*
Oh Napoleon Dynamite, see what thou hast wrought…?
Clearly written and directed by Tommy Wiseau.
The remake of ‘Black Christmas’ is pretty terrible, but I vote for ‘Valentines Day’. That qualifies as a holiday movie, right…?
Whew, sorry I’m late to the blog party, gang! That EMP knocked out my Macbook a couple of days ago; SOMEbody forgot to place it on the ground and wrap it in a metal blanket. I’m looking at YOU, reptilian invaders…
“Haha this new meat that I have definitely never tried sure tastes great! AS LONG AS THERE ARE NO GAY PEOPLE AROUND, AMIRIGHT!?!?!”
-Com Truise