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Simon Spidermonk
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Bottom five percent represent, represent.
(I’ve been listening to A Tribe Called Quest lately)
The world is a vampire.
My only gripe about Watchmen was that it made the superheroes way too bad-ass, as if they were uprooted from a mid-90′s Rob Liefeld or Todd McFarlane comic. That’s a pretty big gripe, actually. Even so – and this may be blasphemy – I preferred the movie ending to the comic book ending. It seemed more elegant. Why create a giant alien squid when you already have a Dr. Manhattan?
Dawn of the Dead unequivocally kicked ass.
Well done.
Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying By Accepting That I Have A Complicated Relationship With A Paternal State And That Some Of That Complication Is On Me, Due to My Own Father Issues, But To Be Fair Just As Much of It Comes From External Sources Because, As Nirvana Said, Just Because You Are Paranoid, That Does Not Mean That They Are Not After You.
I miss explainerguy, or whatever his name was. Explainerguy explains again? I forget. You know who I mean. He killed at these things.
I also miss Mans.
MANS!
On Purge Day, I’d murder all the 15 year olds everywhere.
…Too much?
He says “wow” a lot too. I started watching Kitchen Nightmares and Hell’s Kitchen after the ABC thing too and I’ve noticed that a lot of his weird little tics and mannerisms get more pronounced over time. I don’t know if that’s just a byproduct of getting older (in that we all become caricatures of ourselves) or if he’s refined a “Gordon Ramsay” character that he plays now. Either way, it’s distracting.
This is the book part of the comments, I guess. I’m re-reading After Dark by Haruki Murakami because I didn’t like it the first time, but I recently re-read a bunch of his short stories and they were even better than I remembered them being so I decided to give it another chance. Started this morning and I’m about half way through. It’s good! I forget how it ends so maybe it’ll disappoint me (like 1Q84, grumble grumble, which was two-thirds of a masterpiece) but for some reason I doubt it. I think I didn’t like it the first time because I just didn’t have the patience for its sorta meandering vibe. But now I do. Personal growth! It makes a lot more sense than I thought it did, so far.
Also, if anyone hasn’t read the short story Girl With Curious Hair by David Foster Wallace, do so. Dark and hilarious and just weird.
Cloud Atlas (the book) was pretty good. I have The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet sitting on my shelf and I’m pretty eager to dig into that, once I’m done with my current Murakami kick.
I’m not an avid gamer anymore but I do game, and I also don’t want children.
Fair enough. I can see how what I said could have come across as me telling other people how to react, as if I am the only one who knows how to react correctly. I was deeply scared when I wrote this. Too scared to joke about it. I’m a bit older than most of you so the post 9/11 world is still something I haven’t totally adapted to. It seems like the world took a turn towards the Darkest Timeline that day, a timeline that none of us saw coming, and whenever the world seems to be heading towards an even Darkerest Timeline, I get a bit freaked out. My post came entirely from fear and I totally agree with Churchill that fear is the least constructive response to a crisis, so I apologize. But even though I phrased it as if I was pissed off at all of you, having re-read this thread I’ve realized that my indignation was sparked by a single Monster: Facetaco. I get that inappropriateness is his schtick but the More Than A Feeling post for some reason fucking enraged me. I should’ve thought about it and had the awareness to say as much, but I didn’t. So, sorry.
Having said that… I still don’t know why but that post continues to piss me off. Good job, Facetaco. You got a reaction.
I read this post ten minutes after it went up, before there were any comments, and I considered going “First!” as a dumb joke. But then I thought, no, it’s actually kind of beautiful that no-one’s commented yet. Maybe the internet has taken what Gabe said to heart. And I was filled with hope, in spite of the tragedy. What a rube.
I like that people use this space to check in and to vent and to connect with fellow human beings who we assume are feeling feelings that approximate the feelings we ourselves are feeling. That’s all good. That’s what makes Videogum great. But when you start arguing about the rightness or wrongness of Gabe’s argument, or response, or whatever you want to call it, and it goes back and forth and in and out the other side, that’s where you lose me. Just feel something or don’t, but if you don’t, at least respect the fact that other people might be feeling something and maybe this isn’t the time to debate the fucking pros and cons of Twitter. AS IF IT EVEN MATTERS!
And enough with the goddamn wannabe bon mots! I give you all enough credit to assume that they’re delivered in the spirit of gallows humour, but just… enough. Fucking enough. Take a break from being so fucking impressed with your own cleverness. Jesus Christ. You’ve made me angry, Videogum. And I was already pissed off.
Downvote away!
Thanks again. Nope, no blog, no Facebook, no Twitter… my online presence is pretty minimal. I considered starting a Tumnus blog so that I wouldn’t eat up so much space on Videogum but haven’t yet. I think if I did it would become too much like work and then I’d lose interest. I’m trying to finish a different writing project but it’s not as light and breezy as these Tumnus things, which is another reason why I like writing them, as a sort of palate cleanser. Sometimes I worry that these Tumnus things are actually better than the other project simply because I put less effort into them and don’t obsess over them, and when I think like that I have to clutch my head and go, “Oh God, what am I doing….” But I’m really glad you like them so much and I don’t see myself stopping in the near future, although I do hope that Tumnus doesn’t become any more prolific than he already is. And now, back behind the curtain I go….
This reply reads as glib to me, and kind of smug, so I’m gonna rend the fictional veil or whatever and reply honestly… even though it’s a couple of days later. I hope that my brief disruption of the dream won’t ruin Tumnus for anyone.
Every time I write one of these Tumnus epics I think it’s going to be the last one. I’m like, “phew, alright, finally got that out of my system, time to do something more productive.” It’s not like I spend a lot of time on them but they don’t write themselves either. I wrote this one a few days beforehand and then forgot about it until “How Was Your Day” day came up again. I took another look at it and was like, “YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL! Why do you do this? This is madness!” and seriously considered not posting it. But, you know, it was already written, and what else was I gonna do with it? So when I say “Thank you” I’m not just being courteous. I really mean it. It could be that you’re all only enabling my insanity but even so, it’s really gratifying that some of you are as fond of Tumnus as I am. It started off as a random joke and that’s part of what makes it so funny to me even now, but more than that, I just love the guy. I don’t know where he’s going in the long run or how it’s all gonna end but it makes me happy that if I were to stop writing these stories for whatever reason, Tumnus would not come to a bad end because there are people like you in the world to help him along. So on behalf of Tumnus and myself, thank you. It means a lot.
That is pretty goddamn adorable.
“Don’t be afraid. I will shelter you from the storm.” – Lightning Rod Man.
I love this one so much. I don’t know why, but I do.
This is very sad and somehow shocking even though it shouldn’t be, but to make it even worse when I read about this at the AVClub, someone in the comments mentioned something about Iain Banks and… holy crap, guys. Don’t know how many Iain Banks fans there are out there but this day officially sucks.
http://www.iain-banks.net/2013/04/03/a-personal-statement-from-iain-banks/
I use “And that’s how you get ants” whenever I drop food on the floor. Or sometimes “Thants!” but that’s not from Archer.
AMC: Why emcee? Eh?
I’m a Wholverine. Hahahaha. A million imaginary upvotes for me!
I’m also upvoting this in your mind. I found this portal and I’m gonna be selling tickets. That’s okay, right? Now do something interesting.
Canadian Bacon, because it exposes the racism against Canadians that has festered in the dark heart of the United States since time immemorial, too often trivialized and dismissed but always operating secretly within archaic traditions such as the discriminatory rules of this bogus contest.
I like this brave new world of no-downvoting.
Definitely not a cat person, but not sure whether my sociopathy trumps my agoraphobia or the other way around.
I used to live in Vancouver. Just passed through there a few weeks ago too, en route to somewhere else. Had to take the bus because my flight got cancelled. Eleven hour bus ride, from 6 pm until 5 am. Listened to Doctor Who radio programs for the first three quarters of the trip until I realized that the bus was making me hate Doctor Who, so I stopped and looked out the window at nothing until we got to the lights of Vancouver, which had me almost bouncing in my seat with excitement. But at 5 am nothing was open, obviously, and I had nowhere to go for three hours, so I wolfed down a Sausage-ish ‘n’ Eggesque McMuffin and got a cup of coffee (not McDonald’s coffee, I have standards) and then just wandered around downtown for three hours taking pictures of things while the city woke up around me. It was pretty awesome. The pictures aren’t as amazing as I thought they were in my sleep-deprived state but it was still one of the better mornings of my life.
I forgot about that. You’re right, that should’ve been in there.