if “outside interests” means wine spritzers, salads, and shitty secretarial jobs, that’s still a piss poor life and mighty depressing.

well, we all know that businesses are the great moral compasses by which our country is governed…

my suggestion: buy in bulk

side note: as an ex-smoker, sometimes i see photos of people smoking and all i want in the whole world is to have one. it can be a very emotional reaction- reminding me of being younger and dumber and just hanging out with not much to do, smoking cigarettes with friends over cheap beers. and some people just look great with a cigarette, and it just triggers this desire. and then sometimes i see someone with a cigarette and i remember what it feels like to wake up in the morning with this gross coat of smoke all on the inside of your mouth, and remember picking up tshirts off the floor of my room that i wore out the night before and they just smell atrocious, and i remember that pathetic need to have another. and in all honesty, dealing with cigarettes is literally the last thing that lindsay needs to tackle in her life, but looking at her with that cigarette just feels fucking dirty and sad.

i used to be annoyed by her, but she’s gotten to be so damn boring over the past few years that i can’t even muster much of a response to anything she does now.

uggggh there’s a “don’t take your guns to town” pun in here regarding teething rings and sore gums, but i can’t seem to find it.

ugh, i am so glad that i am old enough where the most important step is get drunk.

whoa! i think that was me! and it’s totally true! i would’ve posted the saddest “i hate my mom and love nine inch nails” videos showcasing my acne and vague comprehension of shitty nihilist philosophers that i’d never actually read.