True story: When I was 11 and dressed up like Geordi LaForge for Halloween complete with blackface. I’m glad the internet didn’t exist yet.

You Can Count On Meteorologists

Yeah, I agree with you.

I only joke because I’m jealous of your amusement parks with actual carnies, mine only employed pimply teens.

“Girl Swallowed by Pavement”

“She was walking down a Shady Lane,” said the taxi driver. “She seemed Rattled by the Rush of falling down the hole. I though she had Stopped Breathin’. Wowee Zowee, what a nightmare.”

This is a perfect cake to serve at my party celebrating the fact that I just got fired for watching this video

Boogie Plights

Way harshly indigestible, Thai food.

Geraldo Rivera then left the Fox News studio, shooting every jogger he saw in the fucking chest.

You misspelled ‘gay-by’

Best Picture
The Artist

Best Actor
George Clooney, The Descendants

Best Actress
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Best Supporting Actor
Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Best Supporting Actress
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids

Best Director
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Best Original Screenplay
Midnight In Paris

Best Adapted Screenplay
The Descendants

Best Foreign Film
A Separation

Best Animated Film
Rango

Art Direction
Hugo

Cinematography
The Tree of Life

Costume Design
The Artist

Documentary (Feature)
Paradise Lost 3

Documentary (Short Subject)
Saving Face

Film Editing
The Artist

Makeup
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

Music (Original Score)
The Artist

Music (Original Song)
“Man or Muppet”

Short Film (Animated)
“The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore”

Short Film (Live Action)
“The Shore”

Sound Editing
Hugo

Sound Mixing
Hugo

Visual Effects
Rise of the Planet of the Apes

RuPaul’s Drag Race!

Joe Rogan & a donkey

I wikipedia’d Demián Bichir so you don’t have to. He’s the Mexican dude who plays Nancy’s love interest in later (terrible) seasons of Weeds. I have no idea what that movie is. Is it good??