Find Me On:
Doesn’t he have a much younger daughter that can teach him how to text and use an iPod and then they can get married?
That Thing You Do (Badly. It’s Rapping. You Are A Bad Rapper.) #tomhanksmoviesaboutchethanks
This is the game we’re playing, right?
This is awesome.
I like how the opposite of “A NORMAL BORING DAY” is apparently “LIGHTNING AND A FIRE-BREATHING T-REX CRUSHING YOUR CARS BY THE MUSEUM.” Middle ground is for losers!
Personally, I’m hoping for a reality-based existential drama that really gets at the HEART of the Angry Birds world and lack of internal logic therein. Sample scene:
Red bird: You took our eggs. Prepare to die.
Pig 1: Okay, I’d like to talk about this for just a second. You know your white friend (not racist) lays eggs all the time, right? But they explode? If you just asked him to stop exploding his eggs, you’d have plenty of them. Also, maybe you could share. You poop a lifetime supply of food out of your butt. If pigs want to eat pigs, we have to kill each other. If birds want to eat birds, all you have to do is poop some out and you can eat. All we want is some of your poop.
Red bird: Wow. I never thought of it that way.
Blue birds (in unison): We’ve figured out how to clone each other but for some reason keep running out of eggs anyway! Back to the labs!
Pig 1: And while we’re at it, maybe you could stop knocking down our houses, because they’re actually really hard to build and require a lot of forethought. I have to find all of these stones, and pieces of wood, and blocks of ice that never melt, and it’s all very taxing. And then you just knock them down. For eggs. Eggs! THERE ARE SO MANY EGGS and sometimes you even get two eggs in one when you crack them open.
Pig 2: I’m wearing a cowboy hat for some reason?
Red bird: I see your point. I’ll just call my friends and tell them to—
Green bird: BOOOMMMERRANNNNG!
Pig 1: I’m upside down now. Awesome. Very good situation to be in, with no house and being upside down. You guys are great.
Guys, don’t worry. I felt the same way when they announced there was going to be a Super Mario Bros. movie, and it all worked out!
I actually feel you on this- it is a little bit endearing! So I hope it helps to let you know that I went to the same college as him and have it on good faith that he is just a total doucheball. Now we can all sleep at night.
“Rita Wilson was very believable as the clueless mother who was in complete denial about her son.” — Actual quote from THE BLOGS about her guest spot on Law & Order SVU that totally makes more sense now
Well that obviously didn’t work. Let’s try again!
Sud pulls a DVD box set off the shelf. “The Sopranos, by David Chase. Good stuff. That’s what I write,” she says, putting it back. “That’s what I write.”