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Smushmortion
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Even the worst-er.
I rarely think things are the worst, but this truly is. I seen’t it. Not only is it terrible, it’s a straight rip off of South Park’s “Biggest Douche in the Universe” episode.
Is this causing psychological damage to the dog? Only the dog whisperer will know.
Those things seem so impractical. I can’t even imagine how someone would get into one of those things, let alone how I would get my girlfriend out of one.
Awww, the Internet is tearing him apart. 
For real, dude.
THIS TUESDAY,
WHEN ASSHOLES CLASH!
AMERICAN IDOL VS. RIVERS CUOMO NIGHTMARE GUY!
TUESDAY! TUESDAY! TUESDAY!
THE SHIT WILL FLY!
In almost every sketch featuring Charles Barkley, I found myself asking, “Is he okay?”.
Then again, 90% of my knowledge of Charles Barkley comes from Space Jam.
“You ain’t Charles Barkley, you’re just a wannabe who looks like him.”
Real lines from this movie.
(52:59) Kate Beckinsale’s character: So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people. I would have loved to see that.
Plus, all the music sounds like it was pulled straight from Poison Ivy.
“You know, when I first saw her, I THOUGHT I was going to barf. Then when she touched my arm, I did….A perfectly intact slice of pizza, in fact.”
Holy rebel without a cause! Kid’s the next James Dean, I’m tellin’ ya.
This is true. Eminem was on Gabe’s team long before Gabe was on Gabe’s team.
And just think how cool those guys are.
I remember that The Bloodhound Gang had a song (I heard it on accident, I swear) called “The Ten Coolest Things About New Jersey.” It was ten seconds of silence. I believe them.
Just in time for the housing crisis. #monopolymovietaglines
The Devil Wears Proda
Das Moot
Full Metal Heffer
Beefheart
Milk Runner
Million Dollar Kobe
Breed, Stock, and Two Smoking Udders
Shadow of a Cow
A Pasture Named Desire
Don’t Call Me Chuck
Pant Labyrinth — the worst jeans ever.
Momento — the shortest Spanish movie in history.
A Streetcat Named Desire — Disney’s adaptation of the classic.
Potential pornos:
American Bangster
Lost in Translotion
Adventurehand
The Creamers
Requiem for a Cream
“W for Vendetta”
Double the V, double the vendetta.
I have a time machine.
Back in the late 90′s, when kids were still listening to crude music about farts and vaginas (kids today only listen to crude songs about sex fire and about lady lumps (how things have changed)) I came across a lyric by The Bloodhound Gang. It goes thusly:
Cause I’m The One Bottle Willy With The 12 Horse Ale
After That I Get Silly Like Soupy Sales
Now It’s Midnight And I’m Completely Boofy Blitzed
A Six Of Shlitz And The Jew Brew Manischewitz
Regretfully, the name Soupy Sales never interested me enough to take the time to find out who he was. I never thought ‘Is he really as silly as these comical pseudo-rappers say he is?’. And indeed, Soupy Sales, you were a very silly man; a bug playing a tiny piano, pieing Alice Cooper — how silly! Ah Soupy, we barely knew ye. I bet you’re glad you didn’t sell your bug (soul) to Mr. Cooper after all. May the pies be plentiful in heaven.
Hmm…I was listening to “Lovecraft in Brooklyn” as I read this post. Coincidence-ish.