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smacky
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After this fails to make her family famous, she’ll do a series of “Stop hitting yourself” videos.
I’d be satisfied with Robocop statues. About 50 of them, scattered randomly around the country (and not necessarily in major metropolitan areas either. You have to make an EFFORT to see them!).
Total cost: $2,500,000.
That’s like, what, two hours of the military’s budget?
Good thing you’ve stopped boning religious nuts in your office!
Not in Australia, mate!
I should not have taken a sip of soda just as I read that comment. I snorted it up my nose. Funny comment! Painful result!
I am a straight married man, but I have to say Jon Hamm is rocking that casual outfit in the far right of the pic.
Moving to Fridays, shortened season announced… Dan was kicked off a boat that was sinking anyway.
(Granted, a boat full of funny people, but still…)
Roger sure has a habit of taking women up against walls.
“You just made my list, Schindler!”
That line won me over.
Donuts stuffed with Ex-Lax by Hota Kotb and meant for Kathie Lee Gifford.
He doesn’t even have his own Wikipedia page. The retired child actor who played Chunk in “Goonies” has a Wikipedia page. Chet has to aspire to someday attain the same amount of fame as the retired child actor who played Chunk in “Goonies.”
Chet is LITERALLY a footnote on his father’s page. There’s the perfect metaphor for his life.
It’s around Uranus.
(not proud of that.)
I also hear him saying that in the voice of Vinnie Barbarino:
“Hey, touch Travolta’s scrotum. And around the anus. It’s so sticky in here.”
“Travolta’s Scrotum” is a constellation near the Crab Nebula.
The fact that this is between two people of the same gender does make for some wonderfully awkward descriptions:
“Travolta suddenly turned on his stomach with his legs wide open with a full erection. He then tried to force Doe Plaintiff No. 2′s hand on Travolta’s scrotum.”
Travolta tried to force Doe to touch Travolta’s scrotum.
Now I’m picturing him calling it that: “Touch Travolta’s scrotum.”
Harry: “What do you want?”
Pete: “You came over here.”
Harry: “You opened the door!”
Oil? Or cream?
Re: Megan, Don, and daddy issues: Good point.
Her whole “I want to follow my dream and be an actress,” kick was spurred by her father teasing her about being in advertizing instead of “following her dream.”
From IMDB:
“Turned down the role of Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story (1995) because his agent greatly advised him against doing the project. He didn’t want to turn it down, as he was interested in the project.”
Your agent sucks, Chevy.
The Boy in the Bubble
“Move over Scarlett Johansson … Woody Allen has a new buxom, young muse in his life … and that muse is Lindsay Lohan.”
BUXOM:
1. (esp of a woman) healthily plump, attractive, and vigorous
2. (of a woman) full-bosomed
Lindsay Lohan is none of these things!
I love how the dad ZOOMS IN as his child disappears into the distance, then weakly repeats his wife’s “Come back!” after the kid is a mile away over the horizon.
#AssDad2012
I guarantee that after about 30 minutes with that thing, one of those guys tried to figure out a way to hump it.
Stupid sound effect of static playing so loud, I thought she pointed to his box of porn and said, “This is not breakfast!”
Also, when your bed is a boxspring on the floor, where do you hide a giant box of porn?
Or record it. Or upload it to YouTube later.