Hi! Just discovered the hunt here, while browsing for information on what Kurt Wimmer’s been up to…ULTRAVIOLET being his ridiculously bad follow-up to EQUILIBRIUM.
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I’ve seen 15 of the 25 movies reviewed so far. Of those fifteen, I’d say HUDSON HAWK is the only one that does not belong. I’m not saying it’s good, or that it works; and it’s definitely “not for everyone”–you’d better like Bruce Willis if you’re going to sit through this one.

It’s easy to pile onto a film like HUDSON HAWK and point out all the stuff that’s “stupid” or “makes no sense”–without trying to defend it, I’ll just say that the stupid, nonsensical stuff is intended to be charming. The “Rocky and Bullwinkle Show” narration is supposed to make that clear. But does it work? No, not really. Is it a good idea to begin with? Probably not.

But compare to HUDSON HAWK to BABY GENIUSES, THE NUMBER 23, and I KNOW WHO KILLED ME? BATTLEFIELD EARTH? HUDSON HAWK, bad as it is, is definitely better than those movies.

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Eric Schaeffer is one of my “favorite” bad movie makers, but his only movie with A- or B-list actors is IF LUCY FELL, which a) I haven’t seen, and b) is probably better than his other stuff–say, WIREY SPINDELL.

Another favorite bad-filmmaker is Uwe Boll. I think someone commented on/suggested IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE (ITNATK:ADST) earlier. I’ll second that, and also suggest ALONE IN THE DARK, which is worse. Both feature A-list actors, unless you contrive your definition of A-list to exclude Christian Slater, Burt Reynolds, and Ray Liotta. If so, point taken–what have they done for us lately?–but they definitely merit B-list, as do Stephen Dorff and Jason Statham.

The first time I saw ALONE IN THE DARK, I not only forgot almost every scene–I had a clear recollection of only a few seconds’ worth of the film–I forgot the commercials and the trailers that I had previously seen as well. I couldn’t recall what the posters looked like. I knew less about the movie coming out, than I had already known going in. It was some kind of hysterical amnesia, like the experience simply erased itself, and everything related to it. So naturally, I saw it again, and confirmed that it is indeed awful, and maybe the worst movie ever.

So…

ALONE IN THE DARK