Profile 
shazaam
Website: -
Find Me On:

Latest Comments

Comments

 0Posted on Oct 6th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (16 comments)

It’s a 15 year old cat that’s clearly sick, and he and Anna Faris gave it away because she’s ‘pre pregnant.’

The last year(s) of that cat’s life? Probably going to be peeing under a bed in a strange new place. Hopefully Pratt’s at least paying for food and medicine (and to put the hting down when the new owner’s had enough).

 0Posted on Oct 6th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (16 comments)

They don’t call her Dr. Sunken Tits for nothing.

I am so against that, it is awful, and yet, so perfect.

 0Posted on Oct 6th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (16 comments)

Nah, she’s right. Hollywood has a hard-on for waifs in trauma. Mad Men aside, women with big racks don’t really get the same parts. I guess because some people find them too distracting, can’t equate grief with a boner?

 0Posted on Sep 22nd, 2011 | re: An Open Letter To The University Of Montreal Students Who Wore Black Face (120 comments)

I have to laugh at this. Yes, it happened in Montreal, they may not see it through the prism of American racial politics, as people are often expected to do when it makes no sense.

But guess what? Quebec and Montreal have their own history of absolutely lovely anti Afro Canadian sentiment, especially when it comes to Jamaicans and Haitians. Quebecers can start dressing up in blackface, and they do, when they stop blaming things on the immigrant vote.

 0Posted on Sep 14th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (21 comments)

Is there any chance, whatsoever, that people will reach a consensus on an actress doing a good job portraying Marilyn Monroe? Because she’s not a person anymore, she’s a poster in a dorm room and a million drag queens and drunk Halloween guests. Even if you’ve seen all her movies, or ‘behind the scenes,’ most people don’t know how she acted or even what she sounded like ‘for real.’

 +4Posted on Sep 14th, 2011 | re: An Excellent Sunflower Halloween Costume Tutorial (33 comments)

Oh good. Something to wear to the Ai Wei Wei exhibit.

Okay, but someone’s going to have to fish Tara Reid out of the Palms Casino pool.

 +1Posted on Jul 19th, 2011 | re: Lady Stuff: Summer's Eve Talking Hand Vagina Ad (66 comments)

The problem is obvious. They were already using their hands as vaginas, so there wasn’t much left to write with except…

their toes, of course.

 +5Posted on Jul 19th, 2011 | re: Lady Stuff: Summer's Eve Talking Hand Vagina Ad (66 comments)

You know, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only a handful to have earth-shattering orgasms.

 +25Posted on Jul 18th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Love And Other Drugs (92 comments)

Can someone tell me exactly which combination of trash medicine the hobo took? I want to help combat poverty.

 +2Posted on Jul 17th, 2011 | re: Alison Brie And Gillian Jacobs GQ "Lesbian Scene" Open Thread (140 comments)

Sexism is over!

http://greetingsfrombloodyhell.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/screen-shot-2011-06-30-at-12-22-51-am.png?w=473&h=530

[c/o Kate Beaton who I know likes being credited for her work]

 +3Posted on Jul 17th, 2011 | re: Alison Brie And Gillian Jacobs GQ "Lesbian Scene" Open Thread (140 comments)

I don’t think it’s that confusing. As a fan of Community, I associate these actresses with one of the most original, innovative shows on television (though yes, I understand that it’s not improv and they’re not writing every episode). So to see them associated with something so clichéd… it’s like they’re doing cameos in Two and a Half Men. It pays, some people like it, but it’s a bit sad.

 +5Posted on Jun 11th, 2011 | re: Give Us A Smile C'Moonnnnn (51 comments)

Why what’s a pretty little lady like you got to be sad about? I don’t know much, I’m just an important, breadwinning businessman with lots of deals to do, but a gal like you should just get a new dress and get back to doing what you do best – beautifying my world!

 0Posted on May 30th, 2011 | re: Well, This Lindsay Lohan "Short Film" Is Terrible (51 comments)

I think I know this one. It’s about a girl who can’t close her fucking mouth. Literally. She’s always confused or in awe of something (maybe that something is you/in your pants!).
Originally, it starred Megan Fox.

 0Posted on Apr 18th, 2011 | re: THE SHIBA INU PUPPY CAM IS BACK!!! (25 comments)

I love those puppies, I truly do. I risk my job just getting lost in their squeaky, furry adventures. So they can keep churning out litters, fine. But can someone figure out a way to do this for some SPCA dogs or something so my mind doesn’t always wander to all the unwanted mutts and ruin this for me?

 +5Posted on Mar 23rd, 2011 | re: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation (180 comments)

I think it’s a bit like Z-list actors who keep getting cast in movies, even if they’re straight-to-DVD, because producers know having any name recognition whatsoever gives them a huge boost. Even if it’s someone going ‘Oh hey it’s Carrot Top and that woman from Melrose Place, this looks awful!’ it is still going to get more attention than a movie starring no one and neverheardofhim.

So, uh, Chris Brown is the musical equivalent of Carrot Top. People hate him, but he’s made money before and there will always be someone around helping him make (and make them) money.

 0Posted on Mar 15th, 2011 | re: UCLA Student Teaches the World About Manners (89 comments)

Fighting racism with sexism is what people do in Russia.

 +2Posted on Mar 14th, 2011 | re: On the Wonder of the Electric Guitar and The World's Best Guitarist (48 comments)

I love that story. I want it to be real. Instead of other scenarios which involve her really liking the guy only to have him be embarrassed then go hit on some dimmer, drunker girls at the party.

 0Posted on Mar 7th, 2011 | re: Daniel Craig Wears A Dress For Womyn's Rights (56 comments)

I like to think it’s softening the blow for straight female viewers. ‘Listen ladies, I know you have to hear about this shit, or witness it first-hand, all the g-d time. So enjoy this hot guy in a tight dress.’

 +2Posted on Mar 7th, 2011 | re: Daniel Craig Wears A Dress For Womyn's Rights (56 comments)

He was mostly naked, so, yes.

 0Posted on Mar 4th, 2011 | re: Well, This Is A Particularly Hateful Tea Party Rally (115 comments)

I still don’t know if I’m supposed to ‘like’ the YouTube video for exposing this scum or ‘dislike’ to show I disapprove of their behavior. Stupid internet.

 +4Posted on Feb 11th, 2011 | re: This Is Your Anti-Sexual Violence PSA (75 comments)

Direct quote from someone on (the now admittedly awful Gawker):

When my nephew was 3 months old I took him in for a set of his baby shots. After jamming needles into my mostly naked baby nephew’s thighs, who is crying his little heart out, she told him to, “be a man,” while she was cleaning up.
I almost lunged across the table and strangled her.

Shit starts in jean diapers, y’all.

 +7Posted on Feb 2nd, 2011 | re: Close Reading The Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue Cover Photo (104 comments)

They wanted ‘more color’ and she is literally the only actress they could think of. They browsed IMDb for three hours.

 +6Posted on Feb 2nd, 2011 | re: Close Reading The Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue Cover Photo (104 comments)

Someone, coincidentally enough, biracial. Vanity Fair has a one drop rule for non-whites and exotic prints or scenarios. They literally cannot feature a black model without putting her in cheetah or zebra print..

 +1Posted on Jan 9th, 2011 | re: Why Jersey Shore Sucks Now (66 comments)

I agree with 99% of this assessment. The show has sucked since last season. However, I refuse to believe these people are self aware, They are narcissists, they think they are self aware, they are playing off characters created, in part, for television, but they couldn’t create an honest self-assessment if they were staring in a mirror.

On the other hand, I don’t think becoming famous has changed their self-perception that much. Look at Deena’s MySpace page. The girl was already calling out ‘haters’ years ago and reasoned, as all today’s teens and 20-somethings do, that she’d eventually be called to serve her 15-minute term in reality TV. These kids aren’t changed by fame and fortune, because they assumed they had it coming.