Find Me On:

Latest Comments


“When he lets go of my hand I’m gonna make a break for it.” – Jack McBrayer

“HOW DO MY BOOBS LOOK? DO THEY LOOK GOOD!?” – the only thought to cross Heidi Montag’s mind for the past six years.

 +9Posted on Dec 6th, 2012 | re: Teen Korner: Yo! MTV's "Millennials" Blog, Dawgs! (50 comments)

I thought being a millenial was just about not having a job because of your useless liberal arts degree, but saying you’re “an artist”. Am I doing this right?

 +16Posted on Nov 27th, 2012 | re: Some Highlights From The "Quantum Physics" Section Of Tim Allen's Website (46 comments)

Fuckin tables, how do they work? Miracles everywhere, man.

 +9Posted on Nov 16th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (36 comments)

WOOHOO! I was a production assistant on The Europa Report! I don’t know if it’ll be good, but I was there!

“Don’t move! I’ll suck the poison out of your temple. I’ve seen this on Man vs. Wild.”


 +13Posted on May 2nd, 2012 | re: A Blair Witch Style Christian Horror Movie About Porn, Duh (35 comments)

I wanna see the husband’s side of all this.

“So I got my wife this really nice set of monogrammed hand towels for our anniversary, but she found the box under our bed and is totally convinced that it’s porn. She won’t even let me explain because of “the darkness” or something? Also, I’ve been seeing that girl from The Ring lurking around. So there’s that.”


 +11Posted on Nov 22nd, 2011 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: There Is Gender Bias In Hollywood (46 comments)

*There is a deep-rooted, well defined subculture organized around choreographed dance.

 +4Posted on Nov 19th, 2011 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (68 comments)

I’ll get into the Ball one week. Mark my words! I’m gonna hit the big time!

 +8Posted on Nov 14th, 2011 | re: The Walking Dead S02E05: Ever Done In It A Hayloft? (120 comments)

I seriously can’t watch this show much longer if Andrea continues to live. Every moment she’s on screen makes me wince and/or shout curse words so loud that I miss all the dialogue. FUCK YOU ANDREA!

 +5Posted on Nov 9th, 2011 | re: Well, Darren Aronofsky's Anti-Meth PSAs Are Terrifying (19 comments)

And how bout that Canadian one? Yikes! I had no idea the acid they threw on Harvey Dent’s face came from a kitchen in Canada.

 +6Posted on Oct 27th, 2011 | re: Herman Cain Continues To Kill It In The Campaign Ad Game (30 comments)

Is this eligible for Oscar consideration?

The one where Jacob reluctantly becomes the coach of a ragtag youth football team in order to show up his older brother Esau and win the big game, stealing his birthright in the process because family values!

 +3Posted on Oct 6th, 2011 | re: The 10 Best Movie Opening Title Sequences (71 comments)


 +5Posted on Sep 29th, 2011 | re: What Should The Tagline Be For The New Mortal Kombat Movie? (37 comments)

Mortal Kombat: Because you accidentally did Sub-Zero’s finishing move once and it was awesome but you still have no idea how to actually do it.

 +4Posted on Sep 29th, 2011 | re: And So Begins The Futile, Lifelong Struggle To Exercise Control (25 comments)

I was hoping to at least make it to lunch without contemplating my mortality. Thanks Gabe.

 +4Posted on Sep 28th, 2011 | re: In The Bin In The Bin In The Bin! (31 comments)

The guy who insisted they all name their planes only comes up with “The Paper Airplane” for his? What the hell was that?!

 +1Posted on Sep 26th, 2011 | re: Drink Your Coffee Like An Astronaut (33 comments)

So drink rocket fuel? Is that what he’s saying in the beginning? Got it.

 +3Posted on Sep 23rd, 2011 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (28 comments)

I disagree about Leo’s accents. I think he does them well, or at least not poorly enough that I would say he’s bad at them. Dude is a great actor and he sounds like J. Edgar Hoover in the trailer. Not his fault Hoover talked funny.

 0Posted on Sep 22nd, 2011 | re: Dear Weetabix, Please Bring Your Dubstep Magic Cereal To America (44 comments)

This is the best commercial I’ve ever seen. Too bad the cereal looks like a used brillo pad…….or poop.

 0Posted on Sep 21st, 2011 | re: Vote Rick Perry In 2012 Or DIE! (69 comments)

So Roland Emmerich directs campaign commercials now?

 +4Posted on Sep 20th, 2011 | re: Avatar Sequels Will Look Fancier Than Avatar, I Guess? (50 comments)

We’re on the same page, Sir Frank.

 +16Posted on Sep 20th, 2011 | re: Avatar Sequels Will Look Fancier Than Avatar, I Guess? (50 comments)

Oh I know! How bout an original, interesting storyline with developed characters that the audience cares about, thoughtful direction, and good performances?!
No? Ok fine, just make the pictures prettier.