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schlocktober
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LGOMFH
(Let Go Of My Fucking Hand)
Shhhhhhhhh
And before you “flame” “me” over my taste in celebrity boobs, know that I am actually an asexual space-angel, sent to earth for… not sure why, but I think it has something to do with the electric bass. Anyway, because of my “condition (asexuality, thanks for making me spell it out.),” I had to rely on the internet for info about boobs.
On a related note, has anybody ever noticed that the internet is a veritable font of information about boobs?
15 is literally an odd number of something that usually comes in pairs.
1. Christina Hendricks, left
2. Christina Hendricks, right
3. Scarlett Johansson, right
4. Sofia Vergara, right
5. Scarlett Johansson, left
and so on…
Or are the first 14 all matched pairs, and 15 is the odd duck, because, duh it’s a Top 15 list, dum-dum. You can take your Top 16 list and Katy Perry’s left boob straight to hell!
Set to dubsteb, this video is exactly as funny as you’d expect it to be, which is to say, quite funny.
I seem to recall that guy getting killed toward the end of “Ghost Dog.” (No spoiler alert, because of course you’ve seen “Ghost Dog.”) He had the titular line in response to the question, “Are you the guy who will eventually bring us the website economicplanforamerica.com?”
“I will be dead soon. You’re thinking of my ghost, dog.”
Conditionah is bettah! Oh really, fool?
Oh really.
America: Hey, Texas, the last governor you had who became president was kind of an idiot.
Texas: Oh, yeah? We’ll see who’s an idiot!
America: Touche.
dubstep:you :: rock-n-roll:your grandpappy
It’s the soundtrack that accompanies your wondering what the hell is wrong with kids these days.
On par with generally crappy cheapness of this show. It looks like it was filmed inside the dinosaur ride at Knott’s Berry Farm.
Bring back the AFL. It was just as boring as regular football, but so much easier to ignore.
“Have you ever met Haystack Calhoun? He was a MOUNTAIN of a man! I sent him home to momma with a rollin’ DDT!”
What body spray to shave with? Ask Body Spray, of course.
“And if you don’t get that, then you’re not racist.”
Cookie Wand!
The tag line for the poster should be “We Rest Our Case.”
Colton Burpo should be played by Elle Fanning.
Now maybe I can stop wondering what the hell Keanu Reeves has been up to for the past 20 years.
I want to see the scene where they return his stuff and read the inventory out loud.
Officer:
One Wallet, Leather.142 dollars, cash. One belt, lizard.
Nicholas Cage: That’s alligator, chief.
Officer: Duly noted. One pack of gum, Orbit. One wig, short.
(awkward pause)
One wig, long.
Nicholas Cage: It’s my wife’s. I swear it.
Officer: Just sign the receipt.
Nicholas Cage: You have made a powerfully weird enemy today, amigo.
Mark Burnett has my grandmother’s torso.To be fair, it looks better on him.
They’re descendants of the Space-Irish. Also, one-eighth Space-Cherokee.
“Been smoking since I was 1.” – That Kid
Remember when we collectively hallucinated that video of R.Kelly peeing on a child? Can you imagine how strange it would be if we hadn’t all imagined that? Like, if he was still a superstar even though we all literally watched him pee on an actual child. That would be so weird!
The Pod F. Tomkast is awesome. I’d like to nominate “My fingers feel invisible” for Best Joke of 2010.
I hear what you’re saying about REAL superheroes. What until I finish my screenplay about a guy who can talk to marsupials. It’s called “The Pouch.” And yes, he’s a male marsupial with a pouch, because shut up. It’s just a movie!
Anything with Fred Armisen will have its moments, but the first two episodes of Portlandia were essentially pointless. The fact that a community exists which still exhibits many of the risible qualities people displayed in the 90′s doesn’t change the fact that you are mocking phenomena that people stopped caring about years ago. Add in the fact the the particular subjects are the easiest targets imaginable (like shooting a fish taped to a gun), and I have a hard time seeing this show as anything other than a lazy inside joke. If you live Portland it might be funny, but the whole premise of the show is that you if you live in Portland then your sensibilities are a decade out of fashion.
I think you meant “John Travoltron.”