Yeah, ZOMG Gabe what can we do about this?? I was in the LIBRARY at SCHOOL lolling at comments when I scrolled down and BAM PUSSY IN MY FACE!!! the library was packed and I got so embarrassed, there’s cameras everywhere and just GOD. IT WAS AWFUL. I totes will watch porn on my own time, but having it pop up when I’m expecting to get my highbrow comedy is NOT COOL. Especially when I’m already on probation with the univ. library for talking on my phone too loud. KTHXBYE.

Cuck-E-Cheese sounds like something I might find on YouPorn NOT THAT I GO TO YOUPORN OR ANYTHING.

I think Seth MacFarlane, Michael Bay, and Gwyneth Paltrow should have a The Worst-Off! We can put it on Pay-Per-View and all the proceeds could be used to implement elementary school programs teaching kids the importance of humility.

I’m an adult, but when the boy came out wearing the Floppy Sack Mask in The Orphanage, a little bit of pee came out. That’s true.

It’s good to see Glenn Beck tackling that “angry white male” stereotype head-on.

What’s the problem, guys? She showed much decency and modesty by not allowing her face to be shown. What more do you monsters want? For her to blur the KID’S face or something? JEEZ.

WHY DIDN’T I LISTEN? I want to punch US Weekly in the face. More like US Weakly. Yes, I will show myself out.