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 0Posted on Sep 5th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E08: To Be Continued...! (198 comments)

Two things about time:

1. the first shot of the season showed Walt turning 53, which seems to indicate his cancer hasn’t returned. Yes?

2. i’m sure this has been brought up elsewhere, but i swear the white power dad guy said something like “this will be harder than killing bin laden was.” if so, rare miss, BB. Your show is set in 2008, not 2011.

 +8Posted on Feb 27th, 2012 | re: The Walking Dead S02E10: Two Tickets To The Knife Show (65 comments)

I vowed last week I would not watch this show anymore and today I am strangely pleased by the frustrations of those who watched yesterday.

Remember how on Breaking Bad, Walt & Jesse got into a fight and it was so painful to watch two of your favorite characters fighting one another? And then remember on The Walking Dead when Shane & Grimes fought and everyone was bored? Oh The Walking Dead, you are like an inept younger sibling to Breaking Bad’s valedictorian. And yet. And yet, you are so so much more popular. Go figure.

I agree with the first half of your statement. As for the second half, I am proud to declare that I will be Walking Dead Free from this point forward. This show is SO terrible and yet I have returned to it every week. But why? I have free will, don’t I? I realized last night that I’d rather be doing so many other things than watching this show, even if that means watching some other dumb show. What if I spent that hour learning to play an instrument? Or exercising? Or reading a book? Yes, I will be doing all those things next Sunday from 9pm till 10pm. Who’s coming with me?? Anyone?

Anyone?

It’s obviously an Asian conspiracy by Top Chef producers this season. Grayson will be eliminated next week, lose to Bev, Bev will return to the Big Dance and join Ed and Paul as the new majority in the house. Look out Lindsay. Lookout Sarah. You better soon explain that your distant cousin is a quarter Filipino or else.

 +26Posted on Jan 20th, 2012 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (88 comments)

Ben: “Bobby Newport’s never had a real job…..in his life.”

Tom: “You gotta give it more attitude. It’s gotta scare people: Bobby NEWport…”

Ben: “Yeah. Ok. Alright. Bobby Newport’s never had a real job…..in his life.”

Tom: “Bobby NEWport’s never had a real job in his life”

Jerry: “Bobby Newpooooort.”

Ben: “Bobby Newwwport.”

Tom: “Bobbyyyyy Neeewwporrt.”

Jerry: “Bobby NEWpoooort.”

Tom: “Newpooooort.”

Jerry: “Bobby.”

Tom: “Baaaaaaahhhhh.”

Ben: “Bobby.”

Jerry: “Newport.”

Ben: “All right, now we’re just wasting time, Jerry.”

 +26Posted on Jan 20th, 2012 | re: Four More Years Of Obama Singing Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" (78 comments)

Coffeenow, I don’t understand the vehemence either, but I do have a theory. It’s pretty simple really. The Conservative brand was severely damaged by the W. Bush presidency, obviously, and then along came an Al Green singin’, three-point swishin’ baller who had oratory chops and a handsome face, and he was everything positive for the LIberal brand that W. was negative for the Conservative brand. It was a pivotal moment, potentially make-or-break for winning over a generation of voters. So the Conservatives have been on high alert for four years trying to take the steam out of all the optimism that came with the Obama presidency. It has been relentless and nasty and it has also been effective to some extent. The manipulators have played at people’s greed, their ignorance, and their biases. They’d rather destroy general optimism in America if it means swaying one voter away from Barack Obama. Sad but true, I do believe.

 0Posted on Jan 20th, 2012 | re: Top Chef S09E10: Charlize Theron (27 comments)

Good call on Chris J. I like Grayson quite a bit and I’d like to see her leave the least. I think Lindsay might have a better shot at the final four, unfortunately.

I can imagine some strange scenario where Paul gets eliminated only to return via LCK and everyone’s all “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.” Top Chef. They know drama.

 +23Posted on Jan 19th, 2012 | re: Top Chef S09E10: Charlize Theron (27 comments)

Did anyone watch Last Chance Kitchen last night? You know, the exciting bonus competition where our eliminated chefs compete in head-to-head challenges to earn a spot on the real Top Chef competition? No? Well, let me tell you what happened.

So Nyesha – remember Nyesha? – is on a real winning streak. She has defeated Ty-lor, Gay Chris, Ugly Heather, and the two nondescript white chicks. She’s only a few more wins away from getting back to the Big Dance (after all, she was eliminated by no fault of her own. I believe it was nondescript white chick #2 who brought her down in a team challenge).

Okay, so Bev enters into Last Chance Kitchen and Nyesha’s all: “I saw Bev and I knew I would win this round easily.” Tom asks all the spectators, aka. all the eliminated chefs (who aren’t back home with their families yet for some reason) who they think will win this challenge. Lo and behold, who should feel the need to chime in first but Ugly Worst who can’t help from being The Worst so she declares that Nyesha will win because when you’re The Worst you have little regard for how other people will perceive you. Tom, who’s always above the fray, and points out that The Worst has a vendetta against little Beverly and so her opposition is boring because of how obvious it is. Tom asks if anyone else thinks Bev will win and nobody raises their hand and Bev is crying about this in the interview (no duh and also poor Bev. Cheer up, you’re good at cooking or so it would seem. And also, you have a giant bottle of wine).

So Tom tells them they have 30 minutes to cook, I dunno, something. I forget now. The twist is they can only pass through the pantry once, which makes it seem like the challenge is about being mentally organized. Bev is manic in the pantry and bumps into Nyesha and Nyesha is all, “Jesus Christ.”

The two chefs return to their stations to start cooking and then we see Tom run – yes, he really is shown running as if something bad as happened – back to the kitchen to deliver the real twist. The chefs must switch stations and use the ingredients the other chef intended to use. Bev looks through Nyesha’s assortment and seems pretty happy about her options. Nyesha, on the other hand, is livid because Bev’s ingredients are Asian and also boring. She’ll use a pineapple, but she’s not happy about it, not even at all.

Cook cook cook. Fillet fillet fillet, as Gabe would say. Except Bev isn’t filleting her fish yet at all, even though time is running out. You’re running out of time, Bev! Fillet your fish! says someone. Everyone is on the edge of their seat but, believe it or not, both chefs finish on time like usual.

Bev is happy and Tom likes her dish and says she should experiment outside of Asian cuisine more often. Nyesha is still very not happy about the twist, but Tom is also quite pleased with her dish.

And then, in the upset of the millennium, Bev is declared the winner. Shades of the NY Giants over the Pats in the Super Bowl, right everyone? The Worst is not happy about this (I’m assuming). And Nyesha is not happy either, since Bev was so easy to beat, except that never made sense, Nyesha, because presumably every week a stronger chef will be eliminated making Bev the strongest chef you faced. Why did everyone hate Bev so much? Sure, she’s weak and scared, but she received many compliments on her cooking ability. Confusing.

Next week on Last Chance Kitchen: Bev vs. Grayson, probably. Sorry, Grayson.

 +1Posted on Jan 17th, 2012 | re: Paula Deen Has Type 2 Diabetes, Is An Asshole (91 comments)

I guess I’ve never thought of Paula Dean as a danger of some kind. I don’t watch her show and I don’t cook with butter all that often. But this does make me wonder how big her following is, and furthermore, how many of those people are overweight or have diabetes or heart disease because of Dean’s promotion of unhealthy, indulgent eating? Interesting question. Is Paula Dean doing real harm to society?

 0Posted on Nov 16th, 2011 | re: The New Pogo A.I. Remix Is Horrifying (14 comments)

We’re intimidated by your beautiful cities and active lifestyles.

 +7Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 | re: Top Chef S09E01: Everything's Boringer In Texas (25 comments)

We all love Top Chef. But might I be so bold as to suggest that Work of Art is really the best reality show on Bravo these days?

 +34Posted on Nov 2nd, 2011 | re: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: The Left Behind Reboots (68 comments)

You know, Gabe & Kelly’s discussion about The Rapture really got me thinking. Remember good ol’ King Solomon in The Bible, the Jewish portion? And remember how he tricked dem bitches and said he was going to cut the baby in half (clever girl), and the super bitch was like “Sounds good to me” and the other lady was like, “I would hate to see a beautiful baby slaughtered so that bitch over there can take it.” And Solomon was all, “Well played. I see you cared enough about this baby that you didn’t want it slaughtered” (was I really taught this story as a child? also, this story makes no sense and can’t possibly be true).

Anyhow, here’s my point: maybe on the day of The Rapture God will summon The Redeemed into a Heavenly waiting room and He’ll be all, “Good job, you guys. Welcome to Heaven. You guys obviously deserve to be here, and obviously everyone on Earth belongs in Hell where they will suffer eternally. As your first reward, let’s all watch The Sinners get punished together.” And as The Redeemed watch The Reckoning on TV, God says, “Just one more thing. Can I have the following people stand-up.” And he proceeds to read a very long list and he says: “Ok, here’s the deal: what you’ve just been watching isn’t real. No one’s been sent to Hell. Not yet. I was testing you to see if you delighted in the pain of others and reveled in your own self-righteousness. If you did, you are standing up right now, and I’m afraid we’re going to have to send you somewhere to work on your character. To the rest of you: congratulations! You made it.”

I mean, God has to be at least as wise as the wisest man, right?

 +1Posted on Oct 31st, 2011 | re: The Walking Dead S02E03: The One Where Shane Gets A Haircut (91 comments)

Sorry basattak, that reply was meant for mattg89′s thread. i suck.

 +14Posted on Oct 31st, 2011 | re: The Walking Dead S02E03: The One Where Shane Gets A Haircut (91 comments)

This is a microcosm of these two shows. On Breaking Bad, when Walt shaves his head it really does signify an important character shift. It was exciting and scary to see him change. On The Walking Dead, Shane shaves his head, but on this show it’s dramatically flat on top of being illogical.

Speaking of things being illogical, some might consider Gabe’s recap to be nitpicky, but I think details are important. When a bunch of little things – like hot water, or sandwiches, or zombies eating other zombies – start to add up, it gives the whole setting a feeling of being false. Worse, it says some of the creative minds behind this show don’t really understand the environment they’ve created. And that’s a problem if their goal is to make a good TV show.

Lastly, how bad was Glen’s character written yesterday? One minute he can’t keep his boner down, the next minute he’s on the porch talking about the power of prayer with the girl who gave him the boner? Whaaaa? That is not how real human beings interact.

 +14Posted on Oct 31st, 2011 | re: The Walking Dead S02E03: The One Where Shane Gets A Haircut (91 comments)

In all fairness, this show was ridiculous last season as well.

 +1Posted on Oct 26th, 2011 | re: UNDENIABLE Evidence: There's An Alien In The Rainforest! (26 comments)

Even if that movie saves us all, we’d still be better off if it never happened.

 +20Posted on Oct 17th, 2011 | re: The Walking Dead S02E01: One Child Left Behind (84 comments)

“We’re terrible at telling stories that makes sense.” – The Walking Dead crew.
“No no. We’re much worse.” – The Killing crew

 +15Posted on Oct 17th, 2011 | re: The Walking Dead S02E01: One Child Left Behind (84 comments)

This show is a mess, just an utter pile of garbage mess.

 +2Posted on Oct 11th, 2011 | re: Breaking Bad S04E13: Season Finale (218 comments)

I can see that. No doubt, what we get is memorable. However, my preference is for realism. And I hate hate hate CGI.

 +2Posted on Oct 10th, 2011 | re: Breaking Bad S04E13: Season Finale (218 comments)

Two things: first, because my brain is soooooo slow, I just realized this episode is called “Face Off.” Double entendre? Check.

Second, I agree that Gus deserved some type of coda simply beyond blowing-up. How about if they did this instead: same shot as before with Gus walking out of the hospital room as if he survived the explosion, but this time he’s walking a little bit more like a man who just got bombed, maybe staggering a little bit. And then he stops, but that camera POV doesn’t change. It lingers on his non-exploded side and slowly tracks toward him. Then we see the nurses shriek as he adjusts his tie. Finally, Gus collapses on his side and we see his bloody carcass lying on the ground. No CGI required. A little less comic-booky. Everyone’s happy.

 0Posted on Oct 4th, 2011 | re: Breaking Bad S04E12: Think About It, It's Brilliant! (112 comments)

No. It makes no sense. Unless you *really* don’t trust someone, you talk to someone you love, especially when your loved one is showing obvious concern for you. Andrea was being cruel and unreasonable, imo.

 +1Posted on Oct 3rd, 2011 | re: Breaking Bad S04E12: Think About It, It's Brilliant! (112 comments)

Jeb, I completely agree about Mike. He will not forget about Jesse fighting to save his life two eps ago. I believe that will move Mike’s loyalty to Jesse. Does that mean Gus will try to kill Jesse in front of Mike?

Werttrew, this is something I’ve been thinking about today as well. It seems like a few minor adjustments could have made this episode as flawless as any. 1.) Give us a clear reason to think Jesse would accuse Walt of poisoning Brock. 2.) Give us a clear reason that Gus decides not to get into the car. Also, why would Andrea not even talk to Jesse? That doesn’t make sense in the real world. Jesse may have saved Brock’s life, and it’s obvious he cares about them both. So I’m not really digging that fake tv tension. Lastly, I think it’s a good point about where this ep picks up. Both Skyler and Walt should be in a much different mood that what they displayed at the start. Completely agree.

That said, I was tense the entire hour and enjoyed the hell out of it. So what am I complaining for?

 +5Posted on Sep 23rd, 2011 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (161 comments)

I’m not young & hip (I feel like Community is young & hip? I dunno, I don’t watch it yet), but I’d like to defend The Office for a sec. I thought last season was very strong, and now the challenge is to somehow reinvent the show sans Michael Scott, and episode 1 set a good tone for a very watchable show. Andy as the new manager makes almost too much sense in hindsight, as he is something of a Michael Scott-lite. Adding “Robert California” is perhaps the real stroke of genius. I loved every line Spader uttered last night. So I don’t know. I didn’t find it stale. Seemed like they might have successfully figured out how to get a few more seasons out of this show.

 +8Posted on Sep 9th, 2011 | re: StoryCorps Commemorates 9/11 Anniversary (27 comments)

Goddammit. I was trying to be cynical this year. Now I’m crying.

 +1Posted on Aug 22nd, 2011 | re: Breaking Bad S04E06: Did Friggen Shakespeare Write This Episode? (42 comments)

I disagree with the message of this image.

#1. Breaking Bad is very easy to watch. In fact, it’s my favorite thing to watch these days.

#2. Yes, it is sometimes a bummer. Seeing the methhead with the shotgun was a particular bummer. I hate to think anyone lives in a house like that and that real people behave like that. We can all agree BB has its share of bummer moments every episode. And I suppose the trajectory is one of ultimate tragedy for Walt and those around him. But redemption may come from Jesse. In a way, for all of Walt’s breaking bad, perhaps, just perhaps, young Jesse will find a new meaning to life by the end of next season, something hopeful. Maybe he will break good. I dunno. I guess I can’t argue against the bummer point too much. I love Mike, though. He’s the opposite of a bummer in every scene. Same goes for Saul.

#3. Manipulative? Isn’t that a word we use for bad storytelling? I never think of BB as a manipulative show. I’d be curious to hear an argument for this.