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 +2Posted on Feb 12th, 2010 | re: SPOILER ALERT: I Know How Get Him To The Greek Ends (63 comments)

My question is, what does this mean for Gabe’s feelings on The Blues Brothers? I’m a little concerned.

 +11Posted on Nov 9th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: In The Land Of The Women (91 comments)

Adam Brody’s writing career in this movie gives me hope for all my dreams of having a fake career. 1) Writing porn scripts? Is a thing? All right! 2) Staring at a computer periodically and moaning about your high school novel you never explain and yet everyone thinks sounds interesting, on account of how your shitty high school experience must have been very different from everyone else’s shitty one = success? 3) GINNIFER GOODWIN. I can do this too!

I’m kind of sorry I lobbied so long to get you to watch this, Gabe, but I know you’ll bounce back eventually.

“It’s like watching paint get kind of stressed out and argue with itself while it dries.”

Classic. Also, I need to dwell a little more on man-Ash and his man-(unironic; dude is gay) love for Michael. UNCOMFORTABLE, and only made more so by Michael’s grudgingly mortified thanks. You should develop that more, Bravo, though I know it’s hard when you only have so much time to fill with Mike Isabella listing synonyms for “angry” in regard to Robin’s existence.

 +7Posted on Oct 7th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 9 (250 comments)

Man, this made so much more sense when it was a reply to another comment. :(

 +2Posted on Oct 7th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 9 (250 comments)

Or in the ove(a)n.

 +8Posted on Oct 6th, 2009 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Corey Feldman (72 comments)

What’s amazing about this is that on the seminal A&E “staged reality” show The Two Coreys, Corey Feldman appeared to be the much more functional and less your boyfriend Corey of the two. And by amazing I mean ugh what.

 +5Posted on Oct 1st, 2009 | re: You Can Make It Up: Roman Polanski Builds A Time Machine (103 comments)

Brave vs. gross is a pretty weird and irrelevant false dichotomy, since one can be cowardly and truthful or gross and truthful or a brave gross not-getter of things. Rape is not just not brave and very gross, it is an act that denies the victim’s humanity and it is inexcusable. So yeah, I agree with tibmalian and Gabe and GOB Bluth.

 +3Posted on Oct 1st, 2009 | re: Speaking Of Michael Cera, Is Jesse Eisenberg Better Than Him? (68 comments)

Did you see Youth in Revolt at a film festival, or do you have a short range time machine? Inquiring monsters want to know!

 0Posted on Oct 1st, 2009 | re: Is Michael Cera The King Of The Photobomb? (42 comments)

That is pretty damn excellent.

 +5Posted on Sep 25th, 2009 | re: Cougar Town: Forget it, Jake. It's Cougar Town. (31 comments)

Julie Klausner, you are the best recent Videogum expansion pack feature by far, and I mean that in a totally appreciative and not at all objectifying you in the manner of a video game way. This was awesome.

But to continue my reign of spelling terror: CourtEney Cox-Arquette, Jason SegEL. Es, people! Everywhere you don’t want to put them, there need to be some Es!

 +1Posted on Sep 25th, 2009 | re: Grey's Anatomy: McDreamy Is Topless A Lot. And George Dies. (20 comments)

Hey, did you know that T.R. Knight is GAY?! It’s true! And totally relevant because of an offscreen scandal that happened three years ago! I feel wildly out of synch with my fellow monsters, but “lol gays/trannies/sluts” is far below what I expect from Videogum.

And not to go all Adjunct Professor of Shitty Vampire Media Studies from Sparkles R Us University on you, but it’s Stephenie Meyer. (The E is for “The Worst!”)

 +1Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 | re: Can We Think Of A More Boring Show Than This Show? (49 comments)

I used to sell flooring. Would I watch Martha’s dogsitter picks out carpet? I would not. But I would watch it a lot more than Everybody Loves The Harsh Realities of Golf, so even in this, boringness is relative.

 +12Posted on Aug 24th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Beowulf (120 comments)

I think the hideous UNCANNY VALLEY aspect alone probably qualifies this movie as a frontrunner in the Hunt. Ugh, ‘scuse me while I vomit the sky. (What?)

 +1Posted on Aug 21st, 2009 | re: #FollowFriday: @RobHuebel (51 comments)

@beatricks, for all your nerdy yet incoherent tweets about beer, the San Francisco Giants, and Xena: Warrior Princess needs. Oh baby

 0Posted on Aug 17th, 2009 | re: Dude Who Plays Rufus Humphrey Is Just As Bad As Rufus Humphrey! (24 comments)

Lots of Love. No, wait, the other thing.

 +6Posted on Jul 29th, 2009 | re: Blade's Edge: The Gabe And Max Story (43 comments)

I think he looks like Little Dick Whitman from Mad Men.

 +6Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 | re: The Greatest Fight Scene Of All Time (51 comments)

Maybe you could start jeteing and stop je-terrorizing me.

 +6Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow's Recipe For Roasted Chicken (95 comments)

I used to be friends with somebody who went to the same fancy academy as Gwyneth (Spence, in NYC). I’m not sure if growing terrible human beings there is something they do on purpose or it’s just luck, but I’ve always imagined it along the lines of Gossip Girl’s Constance Billard, in which case there must be somebody actively trying for awfulness. Good job!

 +1Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 | re: Heaven Just Got A Little More The Taco Bell Chihuahua (25 comments)


 +8Posted on Jul 21st, 2009 | re: The New Futurama Is Going To Sound An Awful Lot Like La Futuramo (61 comments)

Having actually seen an in-person table read of the Futurama cast I am painfully aware of how much awesomer they are than Fox and will now throw up in rage for the fourth time since I’ve heard this news.

 +9Posted on Jul 17th, 2009 | re: Our Roller Derbies, Ourselves (68 comments)

This is totally late but whatever, my message will be heard! In a forest of day-old blog posts with no one to read them. You missed my point, Matt. I am not accusing Gabe of hating on the movie because it is woman-friendly; I am calling him on failing to recognize that woman-friendliness at all beyond trivializing it and the cause of female representation in media. Which is maybe a tall order for the internet, but I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t think Videogum were usually more insightful/less offensive than this.

 +38Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 | re: Our Roller Derbies, Ourselves (68 comments)

Oh no, a not-romantic comedy about women doing something goofy instead of sexy/horrifying! They’re not even dancing or doing gymnastics! And it features the triumphant return of Alia Shawkat to the screen and Ellen Page not being obnoxious and several SNL alum. And gross, it was written and directed by women. You’re right*, this is totally lame and it is absolutely appropriate to make fun of it with the title of a groundbreaking feminist work.

*You’re wrong and I am pretty irritated, even if it doesn’t look like the best movie ever.

 +5Posted on Jul 13th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: My Boulder Sucks (250 comments)

The Passion of the Christ is an extremely horrible movie, but not so much because it’s bad at being what it’s supposed to be. It’s just that what it’s supposed to be is an extremely horrible thing, and should be shunned. I still regret putting any validating money towards its existence.

 +1Posted on Jul 13th, 2009 | re: Will DJ Ol' Youngin' Save Judd Apatow's Funny People? (31 comments)

Aziz is coming up with Raaaaaaaandy’s material himself, right? Apatow always seems into letting funny people (snap alert) do their own thing, which is awesome but doesn’t necessarily assuage my doubts about the movie. I need to know who to give credit for the most baller death of all time.

 +3Posted on Jul 13th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: My Boulder Sucks (250 comments)

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