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ring a ding ding
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 +2Posted on Jan 5th, 2012 | re: Updating Carrie For The Modern Viewer (22 comments)

Guess I should look on the bright side, this could be my chance to see Ke$ha and Justin Bieber died horribly in a fire/bloodbath.

 +1Posted on Jan 5th, 2012 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow Literally Selling Snake Oil Now (84 comments)

Sorry but I’m saving my money for the Goop colonic.

 +2Posted on Jan 3rd, 2012 | re: Children's Christian Cover Of "My Humps" Will Save Every Soul (42 comments)

Will the congregation please rise and join us for a rendition of “I’ve Got a Spirit (oooo the holy spirit)”? Remember, parishioners in the first two rows will be funkdified by the Lord!

 +2Posted on Jan 3rd, 2012 | re: Children's Christian Cover Of "My Humps" Will Save Every Soul (42 comments)

Where is God’s Love?

 +7Posted on Feb 7th, 2011 | re: Super Bowl Commercials Open Thread (92 comments)

I learned that to get a man to drink a diet soda, extreme violence must be involved. Thank you, Pepsi Max!

 +6Posted on Feb 3rd, 2011 | re: This Is Your Dance Of Seduction: The Moist-Maker (100 comments)

I will accept. For my love of cute, puffy puppies knows no bounds

 +5Posted on Feb 3rd, 2011 | re: This Is Your Dance Of Seduction: The Moist-Maker (100 comments)

HEY! PLAGIARIST COMMENT! Hmm, whatever. Two dancing Chris Farleys are twice as nice (and sexy)

 +20Posted on Feb 3rd, 2011 | re: This Is Your Dance Of Seduction: The Moist-Maker (100 comments)

Sorry, dude, I think this guy has you beat for the”The Moist-Maker” of 1980s:

 +2Posted on Feb 3rd, 2011 | re: Two Corgis Playing Tetherball: Whoever Loses We Win (37 comments)

The corgis play better tetherball than me, Ring “All Air” a ding ding. At least, I have foursquare. Thumbs, FTW.

 +9Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: Announcing The Starting Line-Up For Puppy Bowl VII! (98 comments)

Birdie, you are the Rudy of my heart. Get out there and show them bitches and sons of a bitches…

 +4Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Academy Awards Nominees Are Here, So, You Know (111 comments)

I don’t like it either. I feel like another bad movie season and I might hear Academy Awards Nominee “White Chicks 2″

 +4Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Academy Awards Nominees Are Here, So, You Know (111 comments)

whoops, meant only us. Also one nomination for Country Strong? Did they not see Gwyneth Paltrow’s performance? Oh, they did. And it was terrible? Okay, just checking

 +1Posted on Jan 25th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Academy Awards Nominees Are Here, So, You Know (111 comments)

Good to see that one writer from EW and my 12 year old self actually considered Justin Timberlake an award season contender. Well done.

 +6Posted on Jan 24th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Razzie Award Nominees Are Announzzzzzzzzzzz (61 comments)

Well done, Jessica Alba! one category, four movies. That’s, um, consistency?

 +9Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow's Advice To Working Moms Costs $3606.50 (54 comments)

I thought he was a 85 year grandfather/war veteran. So Gabe is Every (Wo)Man?

 +6Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow's Advice To Working Moms Costs $3606.50 (54 comments)

Damn you, Gabe! Ugh, linking to Jezebel. What will win out my loathing for Gwyneth or Jezzies?

 +24Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: MTV's Adaptation Of Skins Is Terrible (130 comments)

Sorry, MTV but I’ll keep my decade long protest of the canceling of Clone High, thankyouverymuch.

 +8Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: Operation Watch This: Found Photos Video (31 comments)

This gives me hope that someone will find my disposable camera that I lost when my junior high class went to Virginia. Only a slide show could magically capture my boredom at Colonial Williamsburg

 +5Posted on Jan 14th, 2011 | re: SeaCaptainDate.Com (52 comments)

Watch out, ladies. I suspect there are less million dollar yacht owners and more of house boat owners from the 70s.

 +10Posted on Jan 12th, 2011 | re: Another Day, Another Wearable Blanket (44 comments)

Why is there so much angry towards the regular blanket? I still have my blanket from when I was 1 and you won’t be able to pry it from my cold dead hands. Count me out of the Snuggie-Forever Lazy War of 2011.

 +3Posted on Jan 11th, 2011 | re: This Is Just A Very Good Lost Tattoo (44 comments)

Would it be cooler if he had this on a body part that made the island disappear when flexed/shrunk? Oh, no, wait, I don’t want to know where it would be….

 +12Posted on Jan 11th, 2011 | re: Babycall Trailer, You Guys (57 comments)

or the night of the big dinner with boss and the human centipede is on the loose. Wackiness and terror ensues

 +13Posted on Jan 11th, 2011 | re: Babycall Trailer, You Guys (57 comments)

Boo! The “baby monitor picks up outside conversations” premise has been done to death on 90s sitcoms. Now, if it was horror movie about having two dates on the same night and one turns out to be a serial killer, that would be horror movie gold

 +33Posted on Jan 10th, 2011 | re: These Are Your Bangs: Undetectables Designer Bangs (71 comments)

Of course, nothing can go wrong by taping a swatch of hair to your forehead. So fool proof

 +10Posted on Jan 10th, 2011 | re: Saturday Night Live: Jim Carrey And The Black Keys (45 comments)

I am so mesmerized by the veins in his neck. Can’t stop watching, Swan will eat me