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 +4Posted on Jan 6th, 2012 | re: Checking In With Toddlers And Tiaras (35 comments)

Riiiick, Riiiick, Riiiiick.

 +9Posted on Nov 22nd, 2011 | re: Is FOX News Worse Than No News At All? (41 comments)

I just wanted to say that Peter Doocy’s Facebook profile picture is of him with Bradley Cooper. He’s grinning a lot, because of Bradley Cooper.

 +1Posted on Nov 9th, 2011 | re: BREAKING FART NEWS: George Clooney Thinks Farts Are Funny! (35 comments)

Fart From Home: The Adventures of Yellow Log

These withered old rutabagas are laughing on the outside but quietly dying on the inside as they dream up wistful college fuck fantasies involving the baseball team and steamy showers. Fuck on, Fox & Friends!

 +6Posted on Oct 24th, 2011 | re: Back To Work, You Dumb Morrisseys (28 comments)

And they all want cake.


 +9Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: This American Idol Reaction Video Belongs In A Museum (42 comments)

The unshaded lamp on the floor tells a sad, dark story. Also, same lady?

 +16Posted on Jul 21st, 2011 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Courtney Stodden (97 comments)

These are the kind of people who basically got divorced before they got married.

 +13Posted on Jul 15th, 2011 | re: The Eighth Summer Jam Of 2011: Dough Hughes's "Lights, Camera, Agent!" (26 comments)

 +8Posted on Jul 13th, 2011 | re: Jake Gyllenhaal IS Mr. Cool Shirt (53 comments)

Is fake, no?

 +8Posted on Jul 11th, 2011 | re: Slaughterhouse 90210: Summer Movies (24 comments)

 +16Posted on Jun 21st, 2011 | re: Let's All Attain The V.I.G Lifestyle Together (38 comments)

The Rhode Island accent really is the most beautiful accent.

 +3Posted on Jun 16th, 2011 | re: "Abracadabra" (34 comments)

Well, that explains that.

 +7Posted on Jun 16th, 2011 | re: "Abracadabra" (34 comments)

But how did they get the camera inside Eddie Murphy’s head?

 +10Posted on Jun 15th, 2011 | re: Seeing How The Urkel Sausage Is Made (14 comments)

His first sentence is like an Escher drawing:
“I almost preferred that you had a six-year-old daughter and sent her in there and let her come out with her review.”

I don’t… I don’t know what that means.

 +5Posted on Jun 15th, 2011 | re: Would You Like To Be A Videogum Intern? (25 comments)

Well, technically, in our mailroom you have to kneel. It’s just the Gawker way.

Gabriel, are you trying to tell me that a comedian who is regularly on Chelsea Handler is something other than a wise, witty, consummate professional? Sir, I cannot believe this! Calumny!

 +17Posted on Jun 9th, 2011 | re: The Second Summer Jam Of 2011: Katey Red's "Where Da Melph At" (40 comments)

I kept waiting for the song to start and then it never started.

 +14Posted on Jun 8th, 2011 | re: Ask Idris Elba (41 comments)

So in your notebooks, is it Idris Delahaye or Gabe Elba?

 +14Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Big Bird And Elmo Do Not Make You Gay (92 comments)

“Human nature is evil.” – Miss America 2008.

 +24Posted on Jun 1st, 2011 | re: If You Believe In Yourself, You Will Know How To Ride A Bike! (45 comments)

Bjork just gets weirder and weirder with each passing year.

 +10Posted on Jun 1st, 2011 | re: Falcon Heene's Balloon Now Only $1,000,000! (37 comments)

As a rule, I always keep my things worth a million dollars just lying in some field. It’s the best way to store valuables.

 +3Posted on May 24th, 2011 | re: The Physics Of My Little Pony (29 comments)

Never forget.

 +7Posted on May 24th, 2011 | re: The Physics Of My Little Pony (29 comments)

I shudder at the thought of his family’s kleenex budget.

 +10Posted on May 24th, 2011 | re: The Physics Of My Little Pony (29 comments)

I hate The Funny Kid. It’s one of high school’s most embarrassing routines.