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raptor jesus
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A+ in Stereogum History 101 for rejectedjeffdunhampuppet.

Play-D’oh sold separately.

 +10Posted on Oct 10th, 2013 | re: What's Your Pop Culture Halloween Costume Going To Be This Year? (50 comments)

My sister & I are going as Jean Ralphio & Mona Lisa Saperstein.

It’s going to be HIIIILAAAAAAARRRRIIIIOooOOooOuuOOuoUUuuuUSSSs

 +6Posted on Sep 23rd, 2013 | re: Breaking Bad S05E15: It's [Cough] [Cough] [Cough] Not [Cough] Over! (186 comments)

One of my favorite parts about Last Seasons are when characters say things like Saul: “It’s over.”

“What’s over? I still have to get my money back!” ~Walt

“No, you doofus. This show is over. Next week. You got one episode left so… later.” ~Saul

 +6Posted on Aug 21st, 2013 | re: Oh Boy, Dr. Phil (83 comments)

Do you like Trip-hop?

[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] Maybe

 +6Posted on Aug 14th, 2013 | re: Afternoon Pizza Break! (24 comments)

Just got to my break room and looks like best I’m getting is fourth slice :-\

 +18Posted on Aug 2nd, 2013 | re: This Is Just A Goodbye Post (241 comments)

Remember that time you met Omar?

Mission Accomplished.

We’ll be keeping our eyes and ears open (ears get earwax closed sometimes!) for what you have planned next. Nothing but positive thoughts from this corner of the world.

Godspeed Gabe!

 +4Posted on Jul 30th, 2013 | re: Uh, So, Do You Guys Watch The Bachelorette? (96 comments)

Yeah, I watch it.

I guarantee you that break-up lasted three hours. EDITING!

I normally laugh at everything that happens in that show, but that nightmare break-up hit too close to home. I had to go through a three hour break-up a few months ago. My problem? I initiated it at my house.

Let me give the Videogum community a pro-tip: If you’re going to break-up with somebody, do it somewhere you can get up and walk away. That’s what Brooks should’ve done last night, “Sorry, can’t marry you, peace!”

And I don’t know if this makes it better or worse, but I watch this show because it’s on ABC and I work at an ABC affiliate station. So technically, I get paid to watch it. Maybe that’s a good excuse? If that’s not, I watch it because my sister watches it and it’s sort of a sibling bonding experience. So if I do it to be a good brother, is that a good excuse? My point is, I definitely need a good excuse to watch this show. However, I do watch it for the comedy. Because if you read into it, IT’S HILARIOUS. Except last night, that was a nightmare.

 +10Posted on Jul 29th, 2013 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Elizabethtown (Redux) (99 comments)

The WMOAT feature is what got me to make an account and join the ‘Gum community.

I remember years ago when I first discovered the section. I spent my entire Sunday at work reading the posts (God said rest!) and literally laughed til tears ran down my eyes. I was so happy that there were SO MANY and they were all equally the best.

So to come here and see a “Redux” and enjoy the hell out of it, I now find tears are welling up not from teh joeks, but because Gabe is leaving Videogum.

Gabe, you’re a phenomenal writer. I’m sure I’m not alone in wishing you nothing but success, glory, great friends, big laughs and the incredible satisfaction knowing that something YOU DID affected many people positively miles and miles away.

Godspeed!

 +6Posted on Jul 15th, 2013 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Pacific Rim (46 comments)

Phoenix, M83, Daft Punk…

 +11Posted on Jul 15th, 2013 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Pacific Rim (46 comments)

I too am glad I sat up close for this film. I felt like I was a 10 year old enjoying a good ‘ole action flick once again.

The scaling was definitely one of the coolest parts. I’m usually pretty skeptical for big budget CGI wank fests, but they really went out of their way to make me actually gawk at what is essentially computer rendering.

Also, how have we not mentioned the scene where the robot punches through the building and taps the little metal balls on the office desk? That’s a lot of work and effort just to add a little, “Hey, we’re just having fun after all,” moment in the middle of a fight scene. I also loved the kaleidoscopic visuals throughout the movie.

Lastly, can we give Charlie Day a long lived future in big screen pictures? So enjoyable.

 +11Posted on Jun 10th, 2013 | re: Game Of Thrones Season 3 Finale Open Thread (59 comments)

Theon Greyjoy (or should I say Reek?) becomes one of the most interesting character studies in Game of Thrones.

Because yes, I HATE THAT GUY! He was a sniveling jerk the whole time Ned raised him as a son. He back stabbed Robb. His dad doesn’t even like him! Then he gets all high and mighty and takes Winterfell?! The place you called home??!?! I’d call him a Bastard, but we know not to use that term lightly now…

So we hate him. We hope he dies. Hell, we hope for worse! But then… he gets worse, and worse, and worse, and worse. Then you start going, well hey, wait a minute, you can stop now. I think he gets the point.

How can I feel sorry for somebody I was for sure I hated?

 +9Posted on May 13th, 2013 | re: Let's Talk About Mad Men And Game Of Thrones, Though (74 comments)

Book 2 ended with Theon getting taken out by the Bastard of Bolton.

(uhhh, maybe SPOILERS? but I tried to not give any detail from what you already know)

In Books 3 & 4, there is no Theon perspective. Most assume he IS dead, but others say he is the Bastard’s captive at the Dreadfort.

I, too, wanted nothing more to see Theon die after what he did to Winterfell. What they’re doing with him this season is amazing though, they’re visually showing what is only implied in the books, or referred to in hindsight. So they really have full creative freedom with these torture scenes, as George R. R. Martin brutally explored himself this episode.

All I’ll say is that Theon will end up having one of the most interesting story lines. The emotions you feel for him have RANGE. It’s weird. But it’s good because the Bastard of Bolton is pretty much King of the Bastards because he is a BASTARD. Truly.

 0Posted on Apr 2nd, 2013 | re: Game Of Thrones Season 3 Premiere Open Thread (56 comments)

Hahahahahaha, way to make yourself feel better for not reading.

“icky dudes” — ewwwwww, READERS!

“Looks like we got ourselves A READER!”

OMG, FIFTEEN PAGES?! Excuse me Mr. Martin, when do I get MY IMPORTANT LIFE TIME back?

I was hoping this was an April Fool’s Joke. So allow me to bring in April 2nd with a very honest: “You’re wrong.”

“No one… No one….” hahahahahhahahahahahahahhaa

I’m glad upvotes/downvotes are disabled so you can’t gang me into downvote land in protection of badideajeans. Love it. Later. lern2read.

 0Posted on Apr 1st, 2013 | re: Game Of Thrones Season 3 Premiere Open Thread (56 comments)

Yeah, no Strong Belwas stinks. Definitely had no choice but to reveal Selmy, even though that manticore bit happened in Qarth harbor…

Where was Qyburn? Did I miss him?

 0Posted on Apr 1st, 2013 | re: Game Of Thrones Season 3 Premiere Open Thread (56 comments)

OK. That makes sense. The outside view of Harrenhal was a lot different from the one in Season 2 when Arya rolls by with those huge towers in the sky. Looked different in this episode.

Also makes sense because I’m Roose Bolton heads up Harrenhal throughout most of Book 3 — I guess this was the indication that there will be a transition of power.

Thank You saturnian & fatima!

 0Posted on Apr 1st, 2013 | re: Game Of Thrones Season 3 Premiere Open Thread (56 comments)

SERIOUS QUESTION:

When Robb Stark, Jeyne Westerling, Catelyn Stark, Rickard Karstark and… was that Roose Bolton (?) roll into THAT ONE PLACE with all the dead bodies… where the hell was that place?

I figured maybe it was some random town west of Riverrun in the mountains on the way to Casterly Rock… but I couldn’t figure it out. Even pulled a book with the maps and looked around for details. It looked like a bunch of Northmen died with a Lannister thrown in to mix it up? Did Gregor supposedly ravage that place? WHAT WAS THAT PLACE!?!?!

Also, two REALLY easy things they should’ve done but didn’t:
– Mance Rayder should’ve been holding an instrument. Shit, he could’ve just been tuning it then put it down and done the whole scene exactly the same and that would’ve been enough. It’s a very important aspect of his character that he’s a musician.

–When Davos woke up on the island he should’ve reached for his bag of fingers, which are long gone. OR when Saladhor (sp?) Saan mentions that he will put Davos’ bones in a bag and send them to his widow, Davos should’ve silently reached up to his neck and noticed his bag of fingers weren’t there.

I don’t think that’s asking too much right? To take 5 seconds to, without dialogue, acknowledge two very important characters very important instincts and/or talents.

 +19Posted on Jan 17th, 2013 | re: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: The Spring Breakers Trailer (52 comments)

Actually based on Riff Raff. Whether it’s a lie or not, I read that they approached Riff Raff to play the part, but he was too busy getting high or something.

 +1Posted on Oct 10th, 2012 | re: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Chet Haze's Reddit Controversy (23 comments)

“Gabe: i guess he did tell one woman that he would fill her vagina up to the brim with semen after her husband was done pounding it”

Pure Gold

 +45Posted on Oct 9th, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Brad Pitt With Dreadlocks (56 comments)

Brad Pott

 -1Posted on Aug 17th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E05: THAT POOR BABY! (113 comments)

In vinyl talk we like to refer to that as the B-Side.

But I agree. Celebration Rock has one of the best B-sides of 2012.

 +2Posted on Jul 16th, 2012 | re: The 2012 Gathering Of The Juggalos Infomercial (50 comments)

I recently Netflix’d Jamie Kennedy’s “film” on Heckling and feel that it maybe got released a bit too early.

He is going to get so much Faygo thrown at him oh my lord have mercy oh wait even Jesus Christ knows to stay away from The Gathering damn.

 +11Posted on Jun 21st, 2012 | re: BREAKING: J.R.R. TOLKEIN RIPPED OFF HARRY POTTER! (65 comments)

Obvious IMDB Troll is obvious.

 +3Posted on Jun 20th, 2012 | re: The Story Behind Twin Peaks Is Pretty Interesting! (71 comments)

Seeing damnfinecupofcoffee in this thread makes me smile and feel that everything is right in the world.

 +2Posted on Jun 20th, 2012 | re: The Story Behind Twin Peaks Is Pretty Interesting! (71 comments)

Oh God.

Reminds me of THAT ONE scene in Wild At Heart.

THAT’S all i will say.