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Duke Nukem
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 +5Posted on Dec 9th, 2013 | re: Saturday Night Live: Paul Rudd And One Direction (48 comments)

The Fleetwood Mac sketch isn’t online because that song is approximately a zillion dollars to license.

 0Posted on Dec 5th, 2013 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (14 comments)

 +4Posted on Oct 21st, 2013 | re: A Father's Reaction To His Son Passing Math (12 comments)

Great, touching moment.

NOW CLEAN YR F’ING KITCHEN

 +1Posted on Jul 31st, 2013 | re: The World Is Still A Vampire: Amanda Berry Concert Appearance Addition (13 comments)

THE SHIRTS SAY

::DEEP BREATH::

“Hey man where’s that party everyone is talkin’ about?” and on the back, “In your mouth and everyone’s CUMMIN’”

:( :(

 +12Posted on Apr 24th, 2013 | re: And Now Zach Braff With The Kickstarter (81 comments)

He wouldn’t even need to make those sacrifices though! He’s worth over 20 millions dollars! He’s the VO guy for like 3 different national brands right now! Scrubs will be in syndication for years and years and years!

HE’S GOOD ON MONEY

 0Posted on Mar 22nd, 2013 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (69 comments)

Buzzmedia’s dev team is by far the worst I’ve ever had the displeasure of working adjacent to. I wouldn’t hold your breath for this to get fixed.

 +5Posted on Aug 20th, 2012 | re: Learn How To Eat A Watermelon In Slightly Under 10 Minutes (14 comments)

“Make sure to have a grown up cut the watermelon for you so if they slice off their fingers you can still eat the watermelon”

So totally bummed I’m learning this lesson at 27. I feel like so much of my life was a lie.

 +2Posted on Aug 14th, 2012 | re: Summer Jam 2012: "Hot Cheetos & Takis" (14 comments)

Hell yes. Cap’s on Cap’s on Cap’s.

 +17Posted on Aug 7th, 2012 | re: This Man Burning Cheerios Is OUR Generation's Chick-Fil-A (24 comments)

Is he dressed as Cameron from Modern Family as some sort of commentary on gay marriage?

So sorry to hear you lost your buddy. If there is an afterlife, your bud will be there waiting patiently for you. And since dogs don’t understand time, your bud won’t even notice the wait.

Wish I could give you a hug through the internet.

 +10Posted on Jul 20th, 2012 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (32 comments)

I wonder how many monsters are at Meltdown any given Wednesday. We should make ourselves known to one another, I go to that shit alone!

FEEL SAD FOR LONELY DUKE NUKEM :(

 +9Posted on Jul 16th, 2012 | re: Shark Alert! Stay Out Of The Water! (24 comments)

In fighting against a shark, a speargun would be #2 on my list. #1 would be a bigger boat.

 +18Posted on Jul 16th, 2012 | re: Shark Alert! Stay Out Of The Water! (24 comments)

“A speargun and a knife were all they had to fend off the shark” UHHHHHHHHHHH

Of all the things you could be swimming with, those seem to be two of the best you could have in this situation. Better than having any sort of firearm for sure.

 +7Posted on Jul 16th, 2012 | re: The 2012 Gathering Of The Juggalos Infomercial (50 comments)

RIC FLAIR!!!

 +12Posted on Jul 12th, 2012 | re: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Charlie Kaufman's Kickstarter (46 comments)

NEVER FORGET

 0Posted on Jul 7th, 2012 | re: Krispy Kreme - "Stolen Bikes" (20 comments)

The shooting and editing in this video is really pretty good at times! Whoever shot this deserves to know better musicians.

 -9Posted on Jun 27th, 2012 | re: No More Twitter Eulogies, Please (71 comments)

While were at it, can every please stop referencing The Wire constantly?

 +4Posted on Jun 20th, 2012 | re: America's Worst Tattoos (22 comments)

You know the ONE mole you have on your arm? We’ll put the bridge of her nose right on that so nobody notices it.

 +6Posted on Jun 18th, 2012 | re: Girls Season Finale Open Thread (46 comments)

Parks and Rec did a surprise wedding better. Still doesn’t mean it’s something that actually happens in real life.

 +1Posted on Jun 15th, 2012 | re: No Television Show Will Ever Die Again (30 comments)

Oh this is a wonderful wonderful comment.

 +11Posted on Jun 14th, 2012 | re: See You Guys Later, At The Underwater Nightclub! (41 comments)

“Imagine a nightclub underweater inspired by a watch created by artists” WAS my standard pick-up line. Back to the drawing board, I guess!

 -2Posted on Jun 5th, 2012 | re: Mr. Coconuts: Tuesday, June 19th! (7 comments)

Negron has been doing standup forever. You’re insane if you think his payday from Fast Times lasted him 25 years.

 +2Posted on May 23rd, 2012 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (34 comments)

I took Lazy Sunday 2 as Samberg’s send-off, specifically the last line: “On these New York streets I honed my fake rap penmanship, that’s how it began, and that’s how I’m going to finish it.”