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Most hilarious of all: the Church of the Most Precious Videogum Commenters is exactly no more or less credible than snake oil outfits like, say, the Seventh Day Adventists!
So which church is he donating all his lucifer satan devil show income to?
So what you’re saying is Wells dusted off his rejected McSweeny’s intern submission from 1999, peppered it with some Guy Fieri, and hoped nobody would notice.
Komodos grow to 3m+ in length.
Which is about how big they were in the film.
OMG LIKE DEREK SMALLS TOTALLY WANTS TO MAKE OUT WITH ME
90% of why I’m still watching the show is to come here and read Gabe’s recaps and the awesome snark in the comments.
YOU WATCH YOU WRITE OKAY
There are probably 37 or more screenwriters hammering out 37 different scripts as we speak.
Hey Herschel and your family who have lived on this homestead for 250 years you aren’t aware that there’s an enormous PRISON about 15 minutes away from your farm?
Spikes = they get stuck on your vehicle.
Snowplow type thing = you brush them to the side.
OMG A TWIG SNAPPED
Let’s keep talking out loud making noise instead of poking our heads out to see what it is or taking any kind of preparatory action – arming ourselves, guarding the exits, etc.
OMG WE’RE OUT OF GAS
Let’s not get into the other vehicles and go find somewhere safe to spend the night and come back for the empty gas vehicle tomorrow sometime. Yeah, we realize we’re going to have to leave it here anyways when we go get gas, but it’s much more stupid to stay here all night in the open, so let’s do that.
I AM GOING TO TALK TO YOUR BACK AND YOU ARE GOING TO TALK TO THE AIR IN FRONT OF YOU
Yes, when I have a conversation I like to stand directly behind you. Makes it so much harder to hear but I like that. Yeah, well I’m going to stand in front of you and look straight ahead and keep talking. I don’t even know if you’re still back there but I’m just going to keep talking.
Here’s my plan for our one shot to light this barn on fire: drop the lit lighter. No, don’t light some f*cking hay and then drop that. Drop the lit lighter that could shut when it hits the ground. Yeah, that’s a much better idea.
Hey the zombies are coming – why not send one vehicle out beeping and making noise since now apparently zombies will instantly walk toward loud sounds? But nooo, let’s all waste bullets shooting at the mob of walkers. How come all the walkers weren’t chasing the cars and the gunfire? Why did they spread out? Don’t they know their own f*cking rules about noise?
Stop posting spoilers. Nobody wants to read them, you clown.
Just realized Shane stabbed a zombie in the head in the last episode, getting zombie blood all over the knife. 3 minutes later he uses the same knife to cut open his hand to get bait blood. Shane you done infected yourself sir.
And if captured guy really knew Maggie from high school, then he would know where the f she lived and there was no need to blindfold him for the drive back to the farm. When they did arrive why didn’t she say hey yeah this guy went to my high school? Or why didn’t the guy say hey! Maggie! It’s me! And then rhyme of a bunch of teachers’ names so he could prove who he was, and then aKKKKkkk THIS F*CKING SHOW IS SO STUPIDDDDddd
“I am bisexual,so what
offers you more”
No, that was not Dale’s last line before Darryl shot him.
Just by moonlight, Dale can see a cow corpse 20 feet ahead of him in grass that’s taller than the cow but he can’t see a zombie walking toward him?
How come the zombie is silent? The nanosecond he saw Carl he lost his sh*t and went ARHHHHHHh ARHHHGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHG
But stumbling through the field he sees/smells Dale but says/grunts nothing? DAMMITALL
Hey Darryl so you finished punching that guy a lot and so now you’re finished don’t you want to wipe his blood off your hands? No? You want to walk all the way back to the camp and have a conversation with super bloody hands? Okay whatever you say, you goddamn squirrel eater.
Wait, so a hungry zombie is on top of Dale and tears at his flesh, but doesn’t eat it the moment he gets a handful?
They just goddamn finished beating us over the goddamn head with “I’ll smear a tiny bit of blood here and all the goddamn zombies will come lick it because they’re all ravenously hungry they drop everything when they smell blood”
But noooo, this zombie that has been stuck in the mud for weeks just wants to fight Dale?
Dale’s innards are now outards! You can scoop some up and eat it! WHY DON’T YOU EAT IT YOU GODDMAN ZOMBIE
Guy yelling DON’T LEAVE ME DON’T LEAVE ME BLA BLA I for 5 minutes 50 feet from the window does not get the attention of the zombies
Shooting your gun 50 feet from the window does not get the attention of the zombies
Having a fight and screaming at each other RIGHT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW does not get the attention of the zombies
NOW I KNOW WHAT DOES NOT GET THE ATTENTION OF ZOMBIES
Carl: If the baby’s a girl can we name her Sophia?
Bad guys outside bar: ARE THEY IN THERE? ARE THEY ALIVE?
NO THEY AREN’T IN THERE OR NO THEY AREN’T ALIVE YOU DOLT
thanks for the spoilers. appreciate it.
Hey Glen STOP LOOKING INTO THE CAMERA OKAY
1 So, hmmm, a modern farm has no MACHINERY THAT CAN DIG HOLES. Wait, hmmmm LOOK THERE’S A F*CKING TRACTOR 30 FEET AWAY FROM WHERE YOU’RE DIGGING
2 So, hmm, they just dug 3 graves and the ground around the holes is METICULOUS AND GRASSY. (look at the photo again.) Never in the history of hole digging has diigin been done so surgically.
3. Hey everyone when you’re digging the hole, make sure you throw the dirt into ONE PILE, OKAY. We need it in one pile even if you’re the poor sucker digging that far away grave. It’s going to start hurting real bad the more dirt your throw so far away, but it is crucial that we have ALL THE DIRT IN ONE PILE.
4 Hey everyone just to make the digging even easier, let’s put the corpses right beside where you’re digging just so you remember what has to go into the holes. Great.
5 Hey let’s bury our people on Herschel’s land without asking his permission.
Now that the barn is empty, they can build a bright and cheery baby room for Baby Shane.
No, Baby Rick.
I mean RickShane.
No, wait – I mean Shrick.
Hold on – Rane.
Yes. Baby Rane.
WAIT OMG SHE’S HAVING TWINS CONCEIVED WEEKS APART SOMEHOW.