I have a sneaking suspicion that McG is somehow involved with this show.

Back in late 2008 (aught eight, as i call it) I found the script for “The Watchmen” in a Chicago deli’s wastebasket. Sadly, I felt compelled to return the screenplay to Warner Brothers, though not before pencilling in a very graphic description of Dr. Manhatten’s hefty blue member which said brothers warner apparently found to be brilliant.
I’m sorry.

it’s not going to be called “wall street 2″ and oliver stone will soon drop out to be replaced by the guys who made “facing the giants” and “fireproof.” they rewrite the film to star kirk cameron as a young wall street trader who’s trying to escape what he sees as his parent’s oppressive faith, but who has no one but God to turn to when his world falls apart in the crash. there’ll be tie-in book called “the tithing tree” which kirk cameron will actually read in the film, changing his life forever. at the end of the film kirk cameron opens his own wall street accounting firm run by christians, for christians, and 10% of their investments go into saving christian bookstores from closing.

C’mon, if we’re referencing jason statham and BMX let’s call it “The Transporter 4″ and describe how jason can’t drive his audi in this one because of a DWI and has to learn some mad BMX skills from Danny McAskill in order to save the Prime Minister of Canada from Algerian terrorists disguised as Bloc Quebecois Separatists. In the end he learns that sometimes it’s ok for a government to fund a political party whose sole end is to secede from said government… also billy bob thornton’s band does the soundtrack and billy bob plays the canadian prime minister as an apology for his ridiculous actions.

There Will Be Blood: an oil baron and an evangelist share a milkshake
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest: a nurse “pulls some henhouse shit” causing a tall native american to break a window
Full Metal Jacket: smartass journalist learns that not everything is ripe for snarky comments
Blood Simple: Private Investigator sustains a hand injury reaching in a window
The Player: Hollywood Exec greenlights a movie he can relate to
Being John Malkovich: John Cusack convinces titular actor to try puppetry
Little Miss Sunshine: a pudgy little girl loses a beauty pageant
Vanilla Sky: Tom Cruise wakes up from a long nap
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford: Robert Ford, a known coward, cowardly assassinates Jesse James.