A Youtube comment:

“PLEASE learn how to properly restrain your child in his carseat! This is the scariest thing I have seen in awhile. His straps are much too loose, he shouldn’t be able to move? back and forth like that and his chest clip should be at armpit level. The seat itself looks too upright and it’s one of the lowest rated on the market. Instead of posting videos to YouTube, perhaps you should take the time to educate yourself on car seat safety and installation before something tragic happens!”

The day the majority of Youtube comments are neither unintentionally hilarious nor giant buzzkills is the day – uhhh – something improbable happens.

That annoying thing from War of the Worlds? Be more specific.

Dakota Fanning looks like she’s doing her “there is a camera? time to FUCKING ACT, MAN” thing. Her stare at the camera was full of act. Also Kristen Stewart throwing that glass at the wall was pretty convincing glass-throwing! I am intrigued!

Wait, these are all real titles for real things! I thought they were fake! But they are real! Just like Hollywood.

33. STREETS ON FIRE by Justin Britt-Gibson

?Two cops, reluctantly partnered, try to bring down a drug syndicate while navigating the streets of Chicago.?

I HOPE ONE GUY IS WHITE WITH A DEATH WISH AND THE OTHER IS A MIDDLE AGED BLACK MAN WHO IS TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT.

“Are you having a laugh?”

Uhhhh no. This is MODERN TIMES! 23 Skidoo!

I can’t wait for the inevitable sequels:

Tiger’s 3 Wood: Teeing Off at the Ladies Hole

It’s called Fading of the Cries? What? “the journey home will begin for some ; one is set on destruction”? … this looks and reads like a poorly translated Japanese video game trailer.

Gabe, you forget that Eli lives at home. Kevin’s mom called Eli’s mom, but she caller ID screened it because she was in the middle of an important conversation with her son over a meal of bacon bits and shattered dreams.