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 +1Posted on May 22nd, 2012 | re: Oh Good, You Can Finally Smell Like The Avengers Wait What? (35 comments)

Great. Now little league fields across America will be reeking of yuzu, which is apparently a thing.

 +4Posted on Apr 25th, 2012 | re: Saving Seth MacFarlane's The Flintstones Reboot (19 comments)

Yeah. He’s still featured prominently in the vitamins.

 +4Posted on Apr 25th, 2012 | re: Saving Seth MacFarlane's The Flintstones Reboot (19 comments)

Bringing Gazoo in from day one would get the feet moving this car again.

 +7Posted on Apr 4th, 2012 | re: What Will The Hellraiser TV Show Be About? (31 comments)

If history has taught us anything, it will be about an antique shop. The proprietors will be trying to recover cursed artifacts that have been distributed through means I can’t remember.

Danny Devito knows the condom’s not enough. You’ve also got to wave a wad of hundreds around.

 +5Posted on Feb 23rd, 2012 | re: Congratulating Jennifer Aniston On Her Walk Of Fame Star (27 comments)

That dude was the worst father ever (sitcom protagonist division). He doesn’t deserve anything more than a kick in the balls.

 +1Posted on Feb 22nd, 2012 | re: Chris Tucker Owes An Impossible Amount Of Taxes (62 comments)

Sounds like someone will be in the market for some info tapes.

 +3Posted on Feb 2nd, 2012 | re: Renaming The Academy Awards Venue, Oh No! (41 comments)

The Now How Is My Mom Supposed To Get These Pictures From Twenty Years Ago Developed? Theater

 +2Posted on Feb 2nd, 2012 | re: Bill O'Reilly Is Typically Infuriating (16 comments)

My capacity for Bill O’Reilly outrage is currently at maximum. Should he save a bunch of puppies from a fire or something, I’ll check this out.

 +21Posted on Jan 31st, 2012 | re: Kate Hudson Spotted With The New Mr. Cool Disguise (130 comments)

He’s British, right? I assume he just tweeted some timely Family Guy references and is trying to avoid deportation.

 +3Posted on Oct 18th, 2011 | re: So, McDonald's TV Is A Real Thing (43 comments)

The last time I was in a McDonald’s, the TV was showing fox news. I, for one, welcome this new age of fry-based programing.

 +5Posted on May 23rd, 2011 | re: Is Detective Sarah Linden The Worst Police Officer On Earth? (39 comments)

She is also apparently unaware that every young girl in Seattle owns a grand canyon t-shirt. Know your town, Linden!

 +15Posted on Mar 29th, 2011 | re: Two Benjamin Buttons Arguing (49 comments)

As a father, all I can think about while watching this is that someone needs to put some clothes on those kids and MY GOD, THEY’RE BY THE STOVE.

 +1Posted on Mar 9th, 2011 | re: Glee S02E15: Sexual Inter-Force & Kids Wanna Fuck! (29 comments)

“can’t wait!”

Better get Bart Scott’s money in the mail.

 +1Posted on Feb 28th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Academy Awards (127 comments)

Wow, Rick Rubin looks like Ron Swanson’s dad. Or son, maybe. I can’t pretend to know how the Swanson’s age.

 +3Posted on Mar 4th, 2010 | re: Let's Make Up Stupid Names For Sarah Palin's Stupid Reality Show (160 comments)

Fuck You, America! (but throw some spelling errors in there somewhere)