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 +12Posted on Jul 6th, 2012 | re: Krispy Kreme - "Stolen Bikes" (20 comments)

Multiple revenue streams are key to any organized crime syndicate. Distribute cocaine AND steal bikes. Boss.

 +19Posted on May 2nd, 2012 | re: An Oral History Of Friends (30 comments)

Is that picture weirding anyone else out? Why are they sharing the milkshakes when there are other perfectly good desserts just sitting there!?! the 90s were weird

 +2Posted on Mar 22nd, 2012 | re: Francis Did NOT Like The Ending Of Mass Effect 3 (38 comments)

i’m no good at photoshop, but not sure how no one has used “you mad” then added “and out of breath” on there yet. internet gold.

 +5Posted on Dec 14th, 2011 | re: Ryan Gosling Is Taking Ballet Classes Just For Fun, Obviously (29 comments)

Is it possible that Ryan Gosling is some sort of robot sent from Skylab to end the human race? Seriously, every woman will become totally dissatisfied with all other men and procreation just stops. Seems plausible.

 +8Posted on Oct 25th, 2011 | re: "Pizza Party" Is The Last Song, We Don't Need Any More Songs, Thanks! (52 comments)

so, i legitimately enjoyed that song. i like hip hop but sometimes have difficulty relating to its content (looking at you, Clipse), but I relate to liking pizza. win win over here.

*you. (that typo is to my comment what the boring arch in season three when they were in the cages was to Lost.)

i watched and loved your Lost.
i regret nothing.

 +4Posted on Sep 14th, 2011 | re: IMPORTANT: New Dallas Cowboys Theme Song (21 comments)

I was really hoping it was going to end with a star wipe.

Jeremy Piven: Giant Fucking Asshole

 +2Posted on Aug 30th, 2011 | re: Nancy Grace Is Going To Be On Dancing With The Stars, OBVIOUSLY (35 comments)

I would like to point out that Ron Artest has changed his name to Metta World Peace, which is just insane/awesome/mostlyinsane. #factchecking

 +3Posted on Aug 15th, 2011 | re: Painfully Slow Turtle Barbecue Theft (15 comments)

i like turtles.

(note: i was going to try and upload a picture of that kid, but don’t know how to do that and am too lazy to look it up. anyways, old web video call back!)

I think i would really enjoy having my own personal hype man. that’d be swell.

 +2Posted on Aug 9th, 2011 | re: Give Ginger Kid His Account Back Says Ginger Kid's Grandma (25 comments)

great minds, facetaco.

 +9Posted on Aug 9th, 2011 | re: Give Ginger Kid His Account Back Says Ginger Kid's Grandma (25 comments)

i kept thinking she was wearing one of those twirly hats, was genuinely bummed when it was just the mirror.

 +7Posted on Aug 3rd, 2011 | re: Mariachi Band Serenades Beluga Whale (28 comments)

“you’re making me really want a margarita and chips and salsa” – me

 +1Posted on Aug 2nd, 2011 | re: This Month's Mr. Coconuts Featuring Delocated's Jon Glaser! (2 comments)

Since i don’t live in NYC, i can only imagine what Mr Coconuts is like. using that mental picture, i’m going to create a cartoon titled “Patty Coconuts”. it will be glorious (until the lawsuit)

 +35Posted on Aug 2nd, 2011 | re: The Real Johnny Bananas Sues Entourage (31 comments)

entourage knows the deal – there’s always money in the johnny bananas stand

 +17Posted on Aug 1st, 2011 | re: Fire-Breathing Pony Robot. What? (26 comments)

hey, do you guys remember Pony Day? That was a great day.

 +5Posted on Jul 28th, 2011 | re: An Annotated Account Of The Alex Trebek Hotel Burglar (40 comments)

This REALLY should have been a blind-item:

“This once-mustachioed Canadian talk-show host awoke in his hotel room to a burglar. Chasing the culprit down the hall, the host of this popular, long-running trivia show crashed to the ground, injuring himself. Undaunted by his injury, he later went to a hotel party and saved the prettiest girl at the party from a pack of roving rapists.”

 +3Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: This American Idol Reaction Video Belongs In A Museum (42 comments)

Directed by David Lynch

 +9Posted on Jul 20th, 2011 | re: "There Are 352 Feet In A Yard" Is OUR Generation's Self-Potato (31 comments)

in her defense, at least self-potato seemed immediately aware of how stupid (but AWESOME!) her answer was. this is just… uh…. stupid.

chick-fil-a just opened in chicago. as a southern person, i was very happy, but i didn’t cry. because i’m a man.

 +7Posted on Jul 6th, 2011 | re: Watch Jay Leno's Head Fall Off! (23 comments)

a rare near miss from Jay Leno.
so rare, so near.

 +5Posted on Jun 22nd, 2011 | re: Best New Party Game: Summer Movies (112 comments)

Wet Hot American Summer
(that was EASY)

 +16Posted on Jun 20th, 2011 | re: Teenagers, You Are Still Liking Music Wrong (48 comments)

Pretty sure that if Bon Iver had made more references to fucking white girls on his new album, Pitchfork would have knocked him up to that 10.0. Maybe.