Did I just get Mervyn’s rolled? Now I feel dirty. And cheap. And poorly lit.

As an ad for Schweppes, it works. Schweppes is only good as a mixer, and watching that did make me want to drink. Heavily.

The production quality of this video suggests that it might be the first one they’ve made that doesn’t contain multiple references to “soup” and “the thing that Einstein couldn’t find”.

I’m not sure this is a good time for people who are famous for one thing (acting, singing, having breasts, whatever) to display their talents at doing something else. Joaquin Phoenix and Denise Richards have set the bar pretty high.

I hope they are teaching these stories to children in bible school. I don’t know what craft project they would have the kids make to illustrate and reinforce the lesson about the oozing groin-sore, but I bet it would blow all of those popsicle-stick crosses out of the water.

Please, please can’t Sarah Palin be interviewed by a sack of potatoes? Or wait – Sarah Palin interviewed by Paula Abdul. I have a new dream.
By the way, all that “Alaskans are so proud of their 50yrs of statehood!” crap is an attempt to cover up that fact that most Alaskans refer to the lower 48 as “outside” and acknowledge the existence of the federal government only in contexts like “I sure hope my tinfoil hat can keep them from stealing my brainwaves.”. A shockingly large percentage of the population lives there specifically because they are *hiding* from the government.