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otis-anne
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 +8Posted on May 8th, 2009 | re: Sacha Baron Cohen Injured His Asshole (4 comments)

Did I just get Mervyn’s rolled? Now I feel dirty. And cheap. And poorly lit.

 +5Posted on May 6th, 2009 | re: Nicole Kidman's Schweppes Commercial: What Did You Expect? (21 comments)

As an ad for Schweppes, it works. Schweppes is only good as a mixer, and watching that did make me want to drink. Heavily.

 0Posted on May 6th, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Paula Abdul Is Addicted To Drugs (26 comments)

“Seattle hazza besht delusional peeble!” Yes.
Usually, that statement would give me a little flutter of hometown pride. I’m just not sure what the word “delusional” means when Paula Abdul says it.

 +5Posted on May 5th, 2009 | re: This Is Your Production Company: Candle Eye Productions (21 comments)

The production quality of this video suggests that it might be the first one they’ve made that doesn’t contain multiple references to “soup” and “the thing that Einstein couldn’t find”.

 +7Posted on May 5th, 2009 | re: Christina Aguilera To Focus On Ruining Movies Now (15 comments)

I’m not sure this is a good time for people who are famous for one thing (acting, singing, having breasts, whatever) to display their talents at doing something else. Joaquin Phoenix and Denise Richards have set the bar pretty high.

 +5Posted on May 5th, 2009 | re: The Almighty Cleanse: The Grossest Christian Infomercial Ever (26 comments)

I hope they are teaching these stories to children in bible school. I don’t know what craft project they would have the kids make to illustrate and reinforce the lesson about the oozing groin-sore, but I bet it would blow all of those popsicle-stick crosses out of the water.

 0Posted on May 3rd, 2009 | re: Sarah Palin For President Of Motorocycles (20 comments)

I hope that my comment hasn’t been construed as Alaska hate, because it’s one of my favorite places in the world. My comment about Alaskans was based on my experiences during the year I spent waiting tables in a tiny fishing town there (road trip mishap), so I guess I should’t assume that I know anything about the rest of the state. I definitely don’t know anything about the majority of Alaskan voters, who elected Sarah Palin as Governor. The Mayor of the town that I lived in was the greatest, and he had only one name (no surname) and didn’t wear shoes. Ever.
I met two people in one week who claimed to have had multiple encounters with extraterrestrials. Alaska’s huge fun.
The taxidermy *everywhere* does take some getting used to.

 +3Posted on May 2nd, 2009 | re: Friday Fight: Who Has The Bigger Penis: McG Or Michael Bay? (50 comments)

You’re putting porn in our eyes!
That is why I love you. Chock-full o’ porny goodness.

 +1Posted on May 1st, 2009 | re: Sarah Palin For President Of Motorocycles (20 comments)

Please, please can’t Sarah Palin be interviewed by a sack of potatoes? Or wait – Sarah Palin interviewed by Paula Abdul. I have a new dream.
By the way, all that “Alaskans are so proud of their 50yrs of statehood!” crap is an attempt to cover up that fact that most Alaskans refer to the lower 48 as “outside” and acknowledge the existence of the federal government only in contexts like “I sure hope my tinfoil hat can keep them from stealing my brainwaves.”. A shockingly large percentage of the population lives there specifically because they are *hiding* from the government.

 +1Posted on Apr 26th, 2009 | re: People Seeing Jesus In Stupid Shit Will Never Not Be Funny (26 comments)

Uh-uh. Nope. That was definitely Ghallager who appeared to her on her cheese toast.

 +1Posted on Apr 26th, 2009 | re: Friday Fight: Is Everyone On YouTube A Pervert? (31 comments)

Is tasing a thing? Maybe not as forplay, but …
I’m thinkng this has to be a thing. Although, naked wizard guy may have ruined it for a lot of people.

 0Posted on Apr 26th, 2009 | re: Friday Fight: Is Everyone On YouTube A Pervert? (31 comments)

Fantasies of naked people. That makes me want to cry. I guess maybe you could claim a banality fetish, but as a perversion? FAIL. You don’t have to go straight to the Femskins, you can start slow with toe-sucking or bearded cheerleaders or something. Anything, please. Naked people. It’s just so sad.

 +2Posted on Apr 20th, 2009 | re: The Girl From Slumdog Millionaire Maybe But Probably Not For Sale (15 comments)

Buy. Buy ourselves a fake sheik.

 +2Posted on Apr 20th, 2009 | re: In Russia, Homework Procrastinates On You! (11 comments)

At 1:25 it looked like he was about to give that guy a lap dance. I feel a little bit cheated.

 +5Posted on Apr 20th, 2009 | re: The Girl From Slumdog Millionaire Maybe But Probably Not For Sale (15 comments)

We can choose to get something positive out of this story – let it inspire change. Clearly we, as a nation, must come together to sell Bill O’Reilly and by ourselves a fake sheik. How fun would that be?

 +3Posted on Apr 20th, 2009 | re: The Best Description Of A Horror Movie Ever (19 comments)

Does anybody know how long this movie is? Is it somewhere around, say, 14hrs long? I’m just wondering if the person who wrote the description also wrote the screenplay. The Terror would commence at roughly hour 13.25.

 +1Posted on Apr 18th, 2009 | re: The Xylofolks Make Begging Look Fun (39 comments)

I want someone to do this wearing Femskins.

 +4Posted on Apr 18th, 2009 | re: This Guy Isn't The Only One Who's Painfully Confused (129 comments)

Is there a way to edit comments after they are posted? I just noticed that
1.Videogum is not a place to compete for humanitarian awards.
2. I’m kind of an asshat.

 +10Posted on Apr 17th, 2009 | re: This Guy Isn't The Only One Who's Painfully Confused (129 comments)

I spend a lot of time around people with autism and Asperger’s, and I agree that this guy is clearly on the spectrum. As for the apparently homophobic message…meh. Someone told him “don’t be gay” was one of the rules and he remembers it. Probably word for word.. During the holidays, my son (high-functioning autistic) subjects innocent shoppers to long diatribes about the evils of encouraging Santa Claus (Santa spys on you and then breaks into your house while you’re asleep- why does everyone act like this is okay?!). Most people have at least a little sense of what’s going on and cut my boy some slack. Very few peple are complete asshats.
But this guy lives in a world of consequences
Thank you Gabe, for pointing that out.

 +11Posted on Apr 16th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 2 (292 comments)

17 films, one summary.
Grapes Of Wrath, Cannery Row, Of Mice and Men, all 14 other films based on works by John Steinbeck: Everyone was poor and miserable, then they died.

 -1Posted on Apr 16th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 2 (292 comments)

Forrest Gump: Disabled mama’s boy embodies/spouts every smarmy platitude ever printed on a mug. Baby Boomers collectively c*m in their pants.

 -1Posted on Apr 16th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 2 (292 comments)

Forrest Gump: Disabled mama’s boy embodies/spouts every smarmy platitude ever printed on a mug. Baby Boomers collectively c*m in their pants.

 +12Posted on Apr 13th, 2009 | re: The Real World/Road Rules Duel 2 Opening Credits Must Be Seen 2 Be Believed (26 comments)

A great example of everything that opening credits should be. This is a show about asshats humiliating themselves, their families and everyone who knows them, and us as a society. We respond to their wretched, pitiful squeals of “Lookit me! Lookie what I can do!” by watching and paying them to keep doing it. It’s all kind of sad and icky and desperate, and if anyone involved had the self-awareness of a sea-monkey they would just crumble with shame. All of this is expressed quite succinctly in these opening credits. Nice job.

 0Posted on Apr 10th, 2009 | re: The Doctors Are Literally Getting People High (33 comments)

Next week, they give him MDMA and he tells the viewers how he his simultaneously missing and not not thinking about Charlie.

 +5Posted on Apr 7th, 2009 | re: Surely There Is An Even Worse Crank 2 Tagline (30 comments)

Been Had Action.