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 0Posted on Jun 7th, 2011 | re: The Anthony Weiner SEXTing Press Conference Open Thread (73 comments)

I try not to judge people too harshly when I don’t know their whole story. For all I know, Anthony Weiner and his wife have an agreement about online flirting, and it’s really none of my business either way. The issue, for me, comes up in three cases.

1) Immoral activity. Sleeping with subordinates qualifies, anything with underagers qualifies, spending tax dollars to fund your pecadillos qualifies. As far as I know, not the case here.
2) Hypocritical activity. If you are publicly anti-gay marriage/homosexuality in general, but you are sleeping with members of your own sex, you are sad and bad. You’re probably sad and bad anyway, but you’ve compounded it by not even holding yourself to your own dumb standards. Again, as far as I know, not the case here.
3) Stupidity. You’re supposed to be pretty smart, that’s why you’ve been given the responsibility to legislate and represent your fellow citizens. Be smart! Anthony Weiner fails this one pretty egregiously. Dude tweets all the time, it’s not like he’s unfamiliar with the tech. It likely affects how much respect and authority he can command to the issues that he (and, often I) care about. And that makes me kind of angry.

Whether he’s a terrible person, that’s between him, his wife, and the women he was flirting/affairing with.

Well, in this case, if you read the Wiki Revision History page (what a perfect name!) the main guy who was trying to change the page kept attempting to seriously pervert Wiki’s rules. He kept claiming that, because the LA Times is a reputable source, and they quoted Sarah Palin, that makes them a suitable reference for altering the facts of Paul Revere’s story. So, by that logic, if the LA Times interviews Howard Camping, the Wiki entry on the Earth could be altered to include an end date of this October (or May, or 1994, or what have you). Obviously no paper only quotes statements they know to be factually accurate. And any reasonable person would see that the paper can be used as a reference for Palin saying it, but not for it being actual historical fact.

Anyway, people seemed to jump on him pretty quickly. And it’s always best to check your references on Wiki if you’re looking for information of any importance at all.

 +1Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Somewhere (115 comments)

I just saw Sarah Silverman on Conan shilling for the awful Peep World. I suggested this movie a while ago afterr seeing it at the Philly film festival, and I need to start working on a preemptive campaign for this painfully bad movie.

I don’t hate a lot of movies. Like anyone, I have movies I prefer, but, honestly, most of the movies I see suggested here just aren’t great to me; I don’t hate them. Peep World is a carnival of terrible. It’s a great cast (Rainn Wilson, Michael C. Hall, Judy effing Greer). It’s not just white people problems, it’s spoiled rich white people problems. There is a scene where a character tries to give a presentation with a painful erection. It’s a long scene. It’s 90-odd minutes of watching people who do not like each other act hatefully towards one another. It’s plotless and without compassion.

When this movie comes out on Netflix, and, god willing, it will, please consider it for the Hunt.

 +2Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Who Should Replace Joe Rogan On The New Fear Factor? (67 comments)

When you win you lose.

 +1Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Who Should Replace Joe Rogan On The New Fear Factor? (67 comments)

As a serious answer, I would nominate the guy from the Chelsea Handler show who is always rubbing his balls on things. I forget his name. I know, I know, Chelsea Handler, she’s the worst. But if you skip the monologue and the interview and just watch the panel discussions, it’s a pretty funny show. And short. And that guy is both very handsome to look at and pretty disgusting, so it would seem like a good match.

Non-seriously, everything about that Vincent Gallo nomination makes me so happy I just peed a little bit. Hosting Fear Factor would be the perfect use of his talents, which I’m sure he has.

 0Posted on Jun 3rd, 2011 | re: Who Should Replace Joe Rogan On The New Fear Factor? (67 comments)

I’m with you, girlphilosopher. Kelly is great! And lots of great people get this wrong, all the time. But I secretly voted for Hillary Clinton in part because she used this phrase correctly during her campaign.

If someone used “nauseous” and “begs the question” correctly in the same speech/article/fever dream, I think I would be his or her girlfriend.

 +3Posted on Jun 2nd, 2011 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Big Bird And Elmo Do Not Make You Gay (92 comments)

Isn’t Dennis Miller a conservative? I have no idea if he’s funny when he’s joking about conservative things, but he used to make me laugh on Weekend Update.

 0Posted on Jun 1st, 2011 | re: The Ku Klux Klan Protests The Westboro Baptist Church, OBVIOUSLY (58 comments)

Westboro Baptist Church is the AT&T of hate groups.

 +1Posted on May 26th, 2011 | re: UPDATE: Disney Withdraws Application To Trademark "Seal Team 6" (20 comments)

Awesomely crazy. Are we to believe that the Navy just skipped over 9 in their naming of SEAL Teams? I know government is a bureaucracy and such, but I’m pretty sure they can still do the numbers in order. So doesn’t this confirm that SEAL Team 9, whoever they are, are basically robot warriors from Mars who we’ve forced to do our bidding through a complex system of brainwashing involving photos of Jayne Mansfield and tapioca pudding?

If you’re going to have a secret SEAL Team, call them SEAL Team X (of course) and don’t skip a number in an otherwise sensible sequence. Is the government being coy? Cause, ew.

 +3Posted on May 25th, 2011 | re: You Did That Wrong, President Obama! I Guess! (44 comments)

Honestly, as betrayed as all those people feel who didn’t get Raptured after they quit their jobs and killed their pets and stuff – I feel 13 times that betrayed that Stewart and Colbert took a vacay the week after May 21.

Bad form, guys.

 0Posted on May 25th, 2011 | re: Videogum Everywhere Mission: Let's Name The Kardashians' New Book (86 comments)

An Assfair to Remembogle

 +2Posted on May 25th, 2011 | re: This Dog Knows The Truth About Baths (43 comments)

A modest proposal: Get a larger bathing tub.

 0Posted on May 25th, 2011 | re: This Dog Knows The Truth About Baths (43 comments)

I don’t know, I think he starts a rebellion, like that kid who punched his bully or the cats who dream in that one Neil Gaiman story. If I had a dog, I’d have to limit his YouTube use after this.

 +7Posted on May 23rd, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Summer Mix (117 comments)

I’m in the middle of an Epic Rewatch of Roswell right now, and so far, I think Heigl is the only cast member who *doesn’t* sing. Which I assume means she is Alyson-Hannigan-horrible and we are all pretty safe on that front.

 +1Posted on May 23rd, 2011 | re: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II Poster, You Guys (49 comments)

This is either the poster for Harry Potter or Party Monster. One or the other.

 +6Posted on May 23rd, 2011 | re: Quote Of The Day (34 comments)

Hey, no fair! They stole my dream wedding idea.

 +1Posted on May 19th, 2011 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow Raps, OBVIOUSLY (61 comments)

I’ll admit I was smiling at portions of that. But then she basically says, unironically, that all Americans have private swimming pools and backyard rotisseries. And I *only* have a backyard rotisserie, so now I think she’s hopelessly out of touch.

 +3Posted on May 18th, 2011 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow Raps, OBVIOUSLY (61 comments)

Sipping on Vitamin Water and Acai Smoothies.

 +7Posted on May 18th, 2011 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow Raps, OBVIOUSLY (61 comments)

911 is a Really Useful Service for People Without Personal Security

 +3Posted on May 18th, 2011 | re: Congratulations to Don Gorske, on Everything (48 comments)

If I counted Diet Cokes I could probably fund my unborn child’s college education. But I don’t want to know that. Who wants to know that?

 +2Posted on May 18th, 2011 | re: Lars Von Trier Is A Nazi (29 comments)

And, thankfully for many Germans who put much stock in what I think, I do not.

Weird story, though. Of all the deathbed confessions.

 +18Posted on May 18th, 2011 | re: Kirk Cameron Vs. Stephen Hawking: WAR OF THE BRAINIACS! (89 comments)

What’s weird is that the robot voice doesn’t have a British accent.

 +23Posted on May 18th, 2011 | re: Kirk Cameron Vs. Stephen Hawking: WAR OF THE BRAINIACS! (89 comments)

What’s interesting is that there is a Stairway to Heaven (Zeppelin, Led), but it also on Earth (Carlisle, Belinda). And yet, Los Lonely Boys aren’t sure how far it is (Lonely Boys, Los). I think Kirk Cameron may need to run a conference of some sort to work all of this out.

 +40Posted on May 18th, 2011 | re: Kirk Cameron Vs. Stephen Hawking: WAR OF THE BRAINIACS! (89 comments)

Well, leave it to Kirk “This banana proves there is a god” Cameron, anyway.

What I respect is that he brings up John Lennon, great scientist of our age. That is helpful. Why Stephen Hawking doesn’t have other pop singers peer review his thoughts before he expresses them, I’ll never know.

 +1Posted on May 18th, 2011 | re: The Zookeeper Trailer, You Guys (73 comments)

I think I know everything I need to know about this movie, and the world in general, from the still shot that appears before one hits play on the video (dumb person alert – what are those called? Thumbnails? That doesn’t seem right, they are too big).

Chubby guy scolding a gorilla in a too small t-shirt.

Sums it up.