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 0Posted on Nov 26th, 2014 | re: Heaven Just Got A Little More Videogum (279 comments)

I didn’t know videogum closed but I bet it’s this asshole’s fault.

 +1Posted on Jun 12th, 2013 | re: David Letterman: "Are Those Your Drums?" (5 comments)

“Well wouldja look at that?”

 +2Posted on Jun 4th, 2013 | re: Maybe Drones Are Cool, Though? (21 comments)

So, if I follow, this is a three-step process:

1. Talk about whatever it is you’re standing in front of.
2. Talk about something else.
3. Wonder if you’ll do it.

“Matt Damon, why don’t you come smell my diploma?” in a Terrence & Phillip voice.

Looks like that mop on his head purbertied down onto his face.

 +12Posted on Apr 18th, 2013 | re: "Bad Ass Bitch" (Featuring Snake) (17 comments)

Seems pretty obvious the name of this is actually “Bitch It Up,” not “Bad Ass Bitch,” CNNgum.

 +12Posted on Oct 25th, 2012 | re: What Are Your Favorite Halloween TV Specials? (45 comments)


 0Posted on Oct 16th, 2012 | re: The Walking Dead S03E01: Open Thread (104 comments)

I don’t visit videogum as often as I used to — simply as a product of getting older and really getting into the groove of not giving a fuck about kids and what they do because they’re just so noisy and have no taste in anything and while I’m not acknowledging in any the sense my generation, or any generation, knew better than these whippersnappers today, I am coming to grips with the fact that I too must have been a colossal idiot for what? 15, 20 years? (assuming my very early years are given a pass because I was a pretty hip baby) and now I am putting away childish things.

POINT BEING, I did not consider the videogum “Walking Dead” recap a childish thing. It was my Dave Barry. And if taken from me, you may well lose one unique page view for month, and I cannot imagine that is a chance anyone is willing to take.

Mr. White, we’ve got a DOZEN doughnuts! Are we in the yum-yum business, or the money business?

Time to cook the doughnuts.

 +7Posted on Aug 23rd, 2012 | re: This Foreign Toyota Commercial Has Weird Things To Say (23 comments)

Green pubes are the best pubes. They always say.

 +3Posted on Aug 7th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E04: Mr. Hat's Got His Hat On Again (162 comments)

The ‘r’ on my keyboard broke for a second but then got better.

 -5Posted on Aug 7th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E04: Mr. Hat's Got His Hat On Again (162 comments)

You opinion is yours to have and to hold, but I am with Kelly and this show is in the process of jumping the meth.

 +3Posted on Aug 6th, 2012 | re: Who Is Your Desert Island Celebrity Dream Date? (37 comments)


 0Posted on Aug 1st, 2012 | re: Ricky Gervais Announces Web Series, Learn English With Ricky Gervais (11 comments)

Ricky Gervais, please save some of the goodwill you’ve earned for a rainy day.

 +16Posted on Jul 31st, 2012 | re: Better Ways Lindsay Lohan Can Deal With Filming A Sex Scene (22 comments)

It’s so full of sarcasm, but “poor, ruined Hollywood baby Lindsay Lohan” is also just so, so true.

 +5Posted on Jul 24th, 2012 | re: Barack Obama Hates America's Lemonadetrepreneurs (42 comments)

Too bad they’ll be out of business once the fall comes because of heavy taxation and onerous EPA regulations. NOBAMA.

 +15Posted on Jul 24th, 2012 | re: Naming Kate Gosselin's Reality Dating Show (36 comments)

You and My Vagina Make a Baseball Team

 +25Posted on Jun 4th, 2012 | re: Donald Trump Rests His Totally Racist Case (52 comments)

Talking about Donald Trump and Arsenio Hall should make you sound like an old-timer reminiscing about the ’90s. Nothing makes sense anymore.

 +11Posted on Dec 15th, 2011 | re: The Gummy Awards: Your Favorite TV Shows Of 2011 (90 comments)

Pretty sure Gabe does actually hate this show, as I consider him a mature, thinking, rational human being with at least a tiny tiny bit of taste. However, I don’t think that means he should have rigged the voting. Nevertheless, a pox on those who put that shit show in the list.

 +6Posted on Aug 2nd, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Greenberg (130 comments)

Why am I seeing no one (including the author of this AUTHORITATIVE and DESERVED takedown) talking about the the random cunnilingus scene? It’s one of the least normal and human things ever put to film. “Hi, I’m your date,mind if I chew on your vagina for a few seconds before we go?” “Yes, that sounds horrible and awkward and I’ll make sad faces while you do it, and then we’ll go to dinner!”

 +1Posted on Jul 28th, 2011 | re: This Is Just A Good Idea For An Interview (No Sarcasmo) (5 comments)

How can a show about a suicidal man-boy who for no never explained reason perceives his neighbor’s dog as a person in a dog suit be so consistently and profoundly uninteresting? Only future scientists will know for sure.

And the race is on to see which versions will age slower!