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murry
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It’s different every week! It was an exciting distraction, counting those Bs.
Spelling out the prayers faster than they could be said, though, is amazing. Nobody would ever think our hobbies are things only serial killers would do!
whoa! I was totally wrong about Jesus, then! No hippy would kill a tree!
All his disciples were probably like, “oh man.. Jesus… chill…” and he probably tried to pass it off as some lesson about how if you don’t give to others (fruit) then you are a wasted life (tree Jesus killed while throwing a hissy fit).
I always kinda thought God was an asshole. First time I ever actually listened in mass it was the story about how God told some guy to go up into a mountain, tie his son to a rock and then murder his own son for no reason other than that God had asked him to. Then, right as the guy was about to stab his son through the heart, God came down and was like, “Whoa whoa whoa!!!! SIKE!! Why are you about to kill your son? Don’t YOU look like the bad father! HAHAHAHHAHAHA LOLOL……….. I’m God, do-ith what I say-th!”
I was like… “oh ma gaaaawd…” and then I went back to counting how many letter Bs were in the gospel because even that was preferable to listening in mass.
So, to sum up. God probably does hate health care. Jesus, on the other hand…. I always sorta thought Jesus was the radical hippy son that God could never see eye to eye with.
Needs more Gonzo.
Also, this seems like as good a place as any to thow out there that the first Iron Man trailer was my favorite trailer ever. I didn’t know what it was for until Black Sabbath kicked in so… as you can imagine… OMG SO EXCITED. Any other favorite trailers of all time?
Also, too, maybe trailers being online before you happen upon them in the theaters takes away that element of surprise that made me love the Iron Man trailer so much. I wasn’t yet a trailer nerd at that time so I didn’t care to see trailers the minute they came out. I guess that’s just the reality of living in the future!
yeah! Michelle Obama brought flags for the kids she danced with today!
whoa… I was just remembering Slim Goodbody today for the first time in YEARS! Weird coincidence… nobody under 25 in my office seemed to remember him.
very jealous he came to your school.
not sure! Too bad Keith Olbermann isn’t around to take this question.
When Mussolini was captured, they hung him upside down from meat hooks in the street and let civilians beat his body. As an Italian American, knowing that always made me feel a little better about my distant relatives and some of their roles in the military at that time (although, my relatives came straight out of Sicily so I should probably be more ashamed of their mob ties). But what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think history will be too hard on a big group of jolly frat boys – with some true 9/11 survivors, first responders, and vets sprinkled in – celebrating the death of the man who almost succeeded in tearing our country apart. I, personally, was revisiting all the sadness and frustration of the last 10 years after hearing this news… but I guess I understand some of the celebrating. I’m really just proud of America for so respectfully disposing of the body. Could have Mussolini’d him!
this is why:
ugh, I feel your pain. Only that douche was our assistant principal and he went around making us turn off every TV in the building. He got to my calculus (U + Me = US) class right after the first building fell.
Then, because we were just outside of Cleveland (where one of the planes turned around and eventually went down in Pennsylvania)… and also because we were right by a nuclear power plant which they worried was a target… fighter jets started doing rounds right over our school. But nope… still not allowed to watch TV to figure out what was up… “go about your business, kids. I don’t want you 17 and 18 year old high school seniors to see anything that might upset you. I’d much rather you live in fear and ignorance as to what is happening on one of the most historical and terrifying days in this country’s history ever. Never forget this chapter of Moby Dick you are going over instead of watching the events that will eventually lead many of you to fight in an unjust war overseas. Never forget.”
“I’m sure there’ll be a movie staring a teen heartthrob named Robert Pattinson in about 10 years that’ll fill in the blanks for you nicely.”
That’s exactly what he said, guys, exactly.
oh god! I basically pictured Jeffrey Dahmer as a zombie when I was a kid. It’s maybe scarier that he’s so normalish. I was so scared of him finding me somehow back in the day… Lots of confusing and frightening trials for kids born in the 80s; OJ, Dahmer, Michael Jackson… I was perhaps most broken hearted over seeing Pee Wee arrested. Siiiigh… and so mad at Oprah for asking Michael if he was a virgin (What is a virgin, Oprah, geez… ask him about Bubbles some more! GIve. The people. What. They. WANT.)
Is anybody else back on this post just to see what the monster’s ball was all about this week? Mind if we just stand here together for a bit and look into the distance knowingly?
The only thing worse than the sibling rivalry in that household has got to be the Wicked Wisdom in that household.
Calm down, Rick Moranis!
Spoiler Alert: I know the guy who made this and it’s not fake.
Hmmm… maybe the people who’s film it is should make a video about HIS video, critique his narrative and ponder who HE is. I would love to see an endless circle of videos pondering who made the previous video.
The second best thing to Letterman and Regis is Letterman and Charles Grodin. I’m an old-man-pairings connoisseur.
I am also from Cleveland… I don’t know… I can’t believe how many times I actually said, “If you’re awesome, you’re allowed to tattoo ‘CHOSEN ONE’ across your back and it’s not douchey!” Ugh… June 2010 me sucked…
It’s like if you were a zombie but had to wake up from being a zombie after eating human beings live… like, oh shit! Why did I do all those gross things?! Did anybody else do those things? No? Only zombies did those gross things…? Ugh… June 2010 me sucked!
The A and the I on her book look like devil horns. hmmmm… Can we get Kirk Cameron in here? Or Cindy Jacobs? They’re better at reading these signs than I am.
not a videogum monster, though. obvs.
The thing is… this guy can’t plead insanity in a court of law. He knew what he was doing. The climate contributed slightly to his paranoia and sick mind… but he’s not insane. He’s a monster.
I think Sarah Palin could plead insanity in a court of law, though, if ever necessary. All she would have to do is prove that she never had a clue what was going on or any self awareness whatsoever. I think her Vimeo page is building her defense for her! And her Facebooks! And her serious-patriotist-political-business-you-wouldn’t-understand-folksy Tweets! Go Sarah!
Gulliver’s Tivo
Fun Fact: In a “conspiracy in film” class I took in college (it was my last semester… I needed a credit… it was totally cool and legit), we learned that the NRA funded the 1984 version of this film. Which is why there is so much anti-gun-regulation messaging in it. Like the fact that the list of registered gun owners is found by the Russians, making it easy for them to put the owners in a prison camp… and the fact that the army can’t help forcing citizens (children) with guns to save the day. yay!
Anyways… I bet Sarah Palin is sponsoring this one. Or my uncle…
I’m not a black and white style decision maker – so for me, the 12 year old’s argument didn’t really do much, haha. LIke… someone could convince me that killing your husband is okay. LIke… JLo totally had me convinced in Enough 
I’m not sure I believe life exists if it can’t think or feel. Unplug me if I’m a vegetable, is what I say. If I had been aborted early enough, science shows that I would not have given it a second thought. My gray area begins with abortions that occur late in the pregnancy.
I always find the abortion argument really interesting because I don’t really understand why people are so quick to make it a black and white issue when to me it’s very gray… I can’t see where this issue ends and all those other issues I tossed out begin. And to me, all those other issues are more relevant to saving lives and the more time we spend deciding when the exact moment is that life begins (some people could argue the pill kills babies), the less time we have to protect the rest of it. Sometimes a stem cell brings us closer to curing AIDS and saving millions of lives… sorry! It’s give and take and controlling our own destiny is sorta what humans do better than any other animal on this planet. It’s sorta our thing. Sometimes cutting down a forest creates warmth and shelter… sometimes it contributes to holes in the ozone. It’s a balance and it’s our survival depends on finding that balance.
I’m waiting for the day when somebody finally sways me one way on abortion. I genuinely do wonder why people who are pro-life so often support the death penalty and are against government programs (kudos to you for not falling into this category)… cause if being pro-life is such an important issue to you that you will vote for a party that supports killing people who would otherwise sit quietly in jail, away from society… and you don’t want your tax dollars going to very conscious, very aware human beings who’s lives are in danger if they can’t get medical care or whatever… I don’t know… I don’t know why a collection of cells became a more explosive issue than those things. Is it because we hate our peers and fellow man that much that we want them to suffer and freeze to death on the streets because they’ve “made their choices?”
Anyway, my mom is very catholic, very pro-life, very anti-death penalty, had a baby when she was 19 and struggled on welfare for years. She sees this as a black and white issue for sure. I wish I did, too…. I just really need someone to finally convince me.
Just thought it was interesting that you came on to this comment board, guns blazin’ and I’m glad to hear you have found a black and white area that suits you… that you are pro-life in every respect. I see your points and understand where you are coming from. I’m too full of questions to ever really feel the same certainty. Maybe you’ve got an argument up your sleeve, though.
this was a long post… but whatever… we’re probably the only people still reading these comments! And it’s been nice not thinking about work..
Is it life? Or for weeks is it a collection of a woman’s cells that can’t feel pain or think? What about overpopulation? In a lot of science fiction novels – which are always full of totally correct and accurate predictions about the future (although, still waiting on the hoverboard, Doc!) – accidental pregnancies after the first couple kids HAVE to be terminated by law to preserve life on earth. Like – Whoa! Deep!
Where do you stand on the death penalty? Where do you stand on eating meat? Where do you stand on cutting down a tree? Turning a blind eye to an oil spill or global warming to preserve your own way of life? Think the government should step in and outlaw eating meat, cutting down trees, drilling for oil and coal burning plants? Cause talk about destroying lives and potential for life…
Just curious. Abortion’s deep, complicated shit, is what I mean to say.
I think I had a point and then I realized I need to get real work done today.
I agree. But also want to point out that “date rape” wasn’t a thing until the ’70s, maybe, or later? I HATE the term “date rape” because it implies that the victim played a role by spending time with their attacker before hand… but I guess that was the step our legal system took in the right direction? Ugh. I think it’s very significant that Joan recognized it for what it was at all. I’m surprised it was ever dealt with. I think it shows just how strong and forward thinking this woman is. We were never meant to see her as weak unless you would consider playing by society’s rules her weakness (which in a lot of ways it was, but how could she know that?). I think until Joan stood up for herself last week, I took that rape scene as representative of just how dangerously weak Greg was. Now I see it as Joan finally able to celebrate the breakdown of society’s unjust rules. Things will never go “back to normal,” thank god.