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 +4Posted on Jan 29th, 2013 | re: Some Extraordinary News (69 comments)

The last love of her life was Papa John’s. You could buy her CD along with the pizza and they’d deliver both right to your door! That was such an extraordinary ride for her and her fans.

 +9Posted on Aug 9th, 2012 | re: Scully And Mulder Are Kissing!!!!!!!! (19 comments)

I want to believe!

 +42Posted on Jul 23rd, 2012 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: The Dark Knight Rises (157 comments)

My biggest issue with the movie was that nobody sentenced to Exile seemed to understand the concept of weight distribution. See if you can slide across on your bellies, guys! Made me feel puuuurdy smug.

 +2Posted on Jun 27th, 2012 | re: No More Twitter Eulogies, Please (71 comments)

But I was most disturbed by people using this as an end button on the Adam Carolla thing from last week.

 0Posted on Jun 27th, 2012 | re: No More Twitter Eulogies, Please (71 comments)

I am guilty of this and I will try to do better.

You would think I would have learned my lesson after my epic digi-morning of Michael Jackson 3 years ago. And I hadn’t even listened to his music in 15 years! It came out of nowhere… I’m still embarrassed! I guess ‘Jam’ impacted me more than I ever realized. Whoops, am I doing it again? Had to fight myself not to do it again Monday! Oh internet… what are you doing to our brains?

oh man, you guys, I don’t comment on blogs usually but I always read videogum comments cause you guys are the best. I wrote a post about this topic on another blog not because Adam Carolla got to me but because I’ve heard it so many times before from other men. It actually got into my head when I was younger… not just that men were funnier, but stronger creatives… and I wasted a lot of years deferring to the group of men in the room, even when I had a strong opinion about a creative change, only to find that my gut instinct was right and the project would have worked out better if I had stuck to my guns. I don’t do that these days cause I am a professional and, much like bronchitis, ain’t nobody got time for that. But so I channeled my younger self and wrote a post about how women should keep doing what their doing, trust their gut sense of humor and don’t worry about some douche who tells you women aren’t as funny (making you feel pressure to prove something).

I got some responses from women who don’t think other women are funny and it made me really sad and in the end… God Damn Adam Carolla got to me!!! CAROLLA!!!

 +3Posted on Apr 24th, 2012 | re: Mad Men: Orange Sherbet You Glad I Didn't Say LSD? (66 comments)

I agree. But also want to point out that “date rape” wasn’t a thing until the ’70s, maybe, or later? I HATE the term “date rape” because it implies that the victim played a role by spending time with their attacker before hand… but I guess that was the step our legal system took in the right direction? Ugh. I think it’s very significant that Joan recognized it for what it was at all. I’m surprised it was ever dealt with. I think it shows just how strong and forward thinking this woman is. We were never meant to see her as weak unless you would consider playing by society’s rules her weakness (which in a lot of ways it was, but how could she know that?). I think until Joan stood up for herself last week, I took that rape scene as representative of just how dangerously weak Greg was. Now I see it as Joan finally able to celebrate the breakdown of society’s unjust rules. Things will never go “back to normal,” thank god.

 +4Posted on Jul 7th, 2011 | re: Michelle Bachmann Prays To God To End Health Care Reform, OBVIOUSLY (82 comments)

It’s different every week! It was an exciting distraction, counting those Bs.

Spelling out the prayers faster than they could be said, though, is amazing. Nobody would ever think our hobbies are things only serial killers would do!

 +9Posted on Jul 7th, 2011 | re: Michelle Bachmann Prays To God To End Health Care Reform, OBVIOUSLY (82 comments)

whoa! I was totally wrong about Jesus, then! No hippy would kill a tree!

All his disciples were probably like, “oh man.. Jesus… chill…” and he probably tried to pass it off as some lesson about how if you don’t give to others (fruit) then you are a wasted life (tree Jesus killed while throwing a hissy fit).

 +13Posted on Jul 7th, 2011 | re: Michelle Bachmann Prays To God To End Health Care Reform, OBVIOUSLY (82 comments)

I always kinda thought God was an asshole. First time I ever actually listened in mass it was the story about how God told some guy to go up into a mountain, tie his son to a rock and then murder his own son for no reason other than that God had asked him to. Then, right as the guy was about to stab his son through the heart, God came down and was like, “Whoa whoa whoa!!!! SIKE!! Why are you about to kill your son? Don’t YOU look like the bad father! HAHAHAHHAHAHA LOLOL……….. I’m God, do-ith what I say-th!”

I was like… “oh ma gaaaawd…” and then I went back to counting how many letter Bs were in the gospel because even that was preferable to listening in mass.

So, to sum up. God probably does hate health care. Jesus, on the other hand…. I always sorta thought Jesus was the radical hippy son that God could never see eye to eye with.

 +2Posted on Jun 20th, 2011 | re: The Muppets "Official" Trailer, You Guys (34 comments)

Needs more Gonzo.

Also, this seems like as good a place as any to thow out there that the first Iron Man trailer was my favorite trailer ever. I didn’t know what it was for until Black Sabbath kicked in so… as you can imagine… OMG SO EXCITED. Any other favorite trailers of all time?

Also, too, maybe trailers being online before you happen upon them in the theaters takes away that element of surprise that made me love the Iron Man trailer so much. I wasn’t yet a trailer nerd at that time so I didn’t care to see trailers the minute they came out. I guess that’s just the reality of living in the future!

 +1Posted on May 5th, 2011 | re: Beyonce Is At It Again (61 comments)

yeah! Michelle Obama brought flags for the kids she danced with today!

 +1Posted on May 5th, 2011 | re: Beyonce Is At It Again (61 comments)

whoa… I was just remembering Slim Goodbody today for the first time in YEARS! Weird coincidence… nobody under 25 in my office seemed to remember him.

very jealous he came to your school.

 +5Posted on May 2nd, 2011 | re: Osama Bin Laden Dead OR: Animated GIFs Of Animals Falling Asleep (100 comments)

not sure! Too bad Keith Olbermann isn’t around to take this question.

 +21Posted on May 2nd, 2011 | re: Osama Bin Laden Dead OR: Animated GIFs Of Animals Falling Asleep (100 comments)

When Mussolini was captured, they hung him upside down from meat hooks in the street and let civilians beat his body. As an Italian American, knowing that always made me feel a little better about my distant relatives and some of their roles in the military at that time (although, my relatives came straight out of Sicily so I should probably be more ashamed of their mob ties). But what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think history will be too hard on a big group of jolly frat boys – with some true 9/11 survivors, first responders, and vets sprinkled in – celebrating the death of the man who almost succeeded in tearing our country apart. I, personally, was revisiting all the sadness and frustration of the last 10 years after hearing this news… but I guess I understand some of the celebrating. I’m really just proud of America for so respectfully disposing of the body. Could have Mussolini’d him!

 +2Posted on Apr 20th, 2011 | re: Gary Busey OFFICIALLY Endorses Donald Trump For President In 2012 (55 comments)

this is why:

 +17Posted on Feb 28th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Remember Me (138 comments)

ugh, I feel your pain. Only that douche was our assistant principal and he went around making us turn off every TV in the building. He got to my calculus (U + Me = US) class right after the first building fell.

Then, because we were just outside of Cleveland (where one of the planes turned around and eventually went down in Pennsylvania)… and also because we were right by a nuclear power plant which they worried was a target… fighter jets started doing rounds right over our school. But nope… still not allowed to watch TV to figure out what was up… “go about your business, kids. I don’t want you 17 and 18 year old high school seniors to see anything that might upset you. I’d much rather you live in fear and ignorance as to what is happening on one of the most historical and terrifying days in this country’s history ever. Never forget this chapter of Moby Dick you are going over instead of watching the events that will eventually lead many of you to fight in an unjust war overseas. Never forget.”

“I’m sure there’ll be a movie staring a teen heartthrob named Robert Pattinson in about 10 years that’ll fill in the blanks for you nicely.”

That’s exactly what he said, guys, exactly.

 +4Posted on Feb 16th, 2011 | re: T.M.I., Jeffrey Dahmer... (81 comments)

oh god! I basically pictured Jeffrey Dahmer as a zombie when I was a kid. It’s maybe scarier that he’s so normalish. I was so scared of him finding me somehow back in the day… Lots of confusing and frightening trials for kids born in the 80s; OJ, Dahmer, Michael Jackson… I was perhaps most broken hearted over seeing Pee Wee arrested. Siiiigh… and so mad at Oprah for asking Michael if he was a virgin (What is a virgin, Oprah, geez… ask him about Bubbles some more! GIve. The people. What. They. WANT.)

 +3Posted on Jan 29th, 2011 | re: Gwyneth Paltrow Upskirt (283 comments)

Is anybody else back on this post just to see what the monster’s ball was all about this week? Mind if we just stand here together for a bit and look into the distance knowingly?

 +1Posted on Jan 21st, 2011 | re: Willow Smith Is Our Generation's Jaden Smith (53 comments)

The only thing worse than the sibling rivalry in that household has got to be the Wicked Wisdom in that household.

 0Posted on Jan 20th, 2011 | re: Operation Watch This: Found Photos Video (31 comments)

Spoiler Alert: I know the guy who made this and it’s not fake.

Hmmm… maybe the people who’s film it is should make a video about HIS video, critique his narrative and ponder who HE is. I would love to see an endless circle of videos pondering who made the previous video.

 0Posted on Jan 20th, 2011 | re: Dave Letterman Calls Regis Philbin On The Eve Of His Retirement (36 comments)

The second best thing to Letterman and Regis is Letterman and Charles Grodin. I’m an old-man-pairings connoisseur.

 +3Posted on Jan 20th, 2011 | re: Hahahah, The LeBrons (68 comments)

I am also from Cleveland… I don’t know… I can’t believe how many times I actually said, “If you’re awesome, you’re allowed to tattoo ‘CHOSEN ONE’ across your back and it’s not douchey!” Ugh… June 2010 me sucked…

It’s like if you were a zombie but had to wake up from being a zombie after eating human beings live… like, oh shit! Why did I do all those gross things?! Did anybody else do those things? No? Only zombies did those gross things…? Ugh… June 2010 me sucked!

The A and the I on her book look like devil horns. hmmmm… Can we get Kirk Cameron in here? Or Cindy Jacobs? They’re better at reading these signs than I am.