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Mrs Versus
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 +17Posted on Jan 23rd, 2013 | re: Josh Duhamel Is Hosting The Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, OBVIOUSLY (29 comments)

I’m sorry to say I know Josh Duhamel very, very well from his years as the sexy but duplicitous Leo on All My Children (wildly popular with kids).

 +13Posted on Jul 13th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (19 comments)

Kelly, after 31 years of having long hair because I thought I’d look like a moonfaced boy if I cut it, and going around all jealous of the pixie-cut darlings, I just went and did it, and it’s fantastic. As my hairdresser says, everyone knows what your head looks like; stop being a baby.

 +10Posted on Jul 7th, 2011 | re: Roseanne's Nuts Is ACTUALLY About Nuts?! (29 comments)

I would totally watch this show.

 +2Posted on Jun 27th, 2011 | re: Sasha Grey Is In The New Eminem Music Video, So (22 comments)

Sasha Grey, please stop not doing porn.

 +3Posted on Jun 9th, 2011 | re: Facebook Tattoo Is Fakebook Untrue (11 comments)

I had a hard time believing there is a tattoo artist who owns shirts with sleeves.

 +2Posted on Jun 9th, 2011 | re: Facebook Tattoo Is Fakebook Untrue (11 comments)

I wish they’d tried harder to make the tattoo parlor look like a tattoo parlor and not a medical billing office.

 +3Posted on Jun 7th, 2011 | re: Facebook Friend Tattoo And Tattoos In General (113 comments)

Joy Indian is my favorite in PS. Mm, Chef’s Special Vegetable Delight, preferred by our Celebrity Customers!

 +1Posted on Jun 7th, 2011 | re: Facebook Friend Tattoo And Tattoos In General (113 comments)

I just got my first a few weeks ago, and it’s fantastic. I am annoyed with myself that I didn’t do it sooner.

 0Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: Zachary Briggs IS Available For Your Porn Movie (47 comments)

That’s a little like saying “Movies are degrading to women.”

 0Posted on Jun 1st, 2011 | re: If You Believe In Yourself, You Will Know How To Ride A Bike! (45 comments)

I know you can do it, zeenah! I got a friend who was teaching her kids to include me.

 +3Posted on Jun 1st, 2011 | re: Bradley Cooper Speaking French, Ladies! (36 comments)

He’s slated to play Satan in a CGI Paradise Lost, which (the entire project) makes me deeply sad.

 +14Posted on Jun 1st, 2011 | re: Well, This Sasha Grey "Short Film" Is Terrible (57 comments)

I think Sasha Grey was a wonderful porn star. She should make more porn! She was very good at porn.

 +7Posted on Jun 1st, 2011 | re: Well, This Sasha Grey "Short Film" Is Terrible (57 comments)

“I think that there is a kind of a gravitas in a way.” — Richard Phillips
“I’m sure. That’s probably very true.” — You

 +18Posted on Jun 1st, 2011 | re: If You Believe In Yourself, You Will Know How To Ride A Bike! (45 comments)

I cried because I’m 31 and only learned how to ride a bike two years ago and am still shaky. Thanks, kid! I *will* believe in myself!

Adversity, y’all. Deal with it.

 +9Posted on Jun 1st, 2011 | re: Stupid Graffiti Marriage Proposal Isn't That Bad (46 comments)

See, I named my proposal attempt for an early-18th-century text that viciously denounced the policies that kept the Irish underclass living in a state of starvation and despair by satirically suggesting we might as well buy and eat their children’s flesh, because no one seems to care whether they live or die. Romance!

 +6Posted on May 18th, 2011 | re: The 11th Spring Jam Of 2011: Mr. Ghetto's "Walmart" (43 comments)

The market for twerk-ready video vixens may be bullish today, but I fear the bursting of the twerk bubble.

 +11Posted on May 16th, 2011 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Bridesmaids (126 comments)

I thought the best laugh was “Lillian! [stare]“

 +10Posted on May 16th, 2011 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Bridesmaids (126 comments)

Yes, and yes.

 +37Posted on May 16th, 2011 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Bridesmaids (126 comments)

I saw it last night! We laughed!

Normally when I see a movie in which a guy has serious emotional problems and is a dick but the girl forgives him and saves him in the end, I think, oh fuck that’s gonna last like two minutes because he’s still a mess, right? [SPOILER SORTA] Well, at the end of this one, I thought the same thing about Kristin Wiig’s character, who is me basically (I never get to see movie characters who are me! it was weird!), that she’s still a fucking mess and that guy should run.

I confronted myself. Because of Bridesmaids.

 +2Posted on May 14th, 2011 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (77 comments)

Baby Friday! Come play with us forever!

 +6Posted on May 13th, 2011 | re: For The Fellas: A Video With So Many Butts, So NSFW. (47 comments)

Maybe they’ll combine forces and do a song about how to smerk it, or twang it.

 +3Posted on May 13th, 2011 | re: For The Fellas: A Video With So Many Butts, So NSFW. (47 comments)

I can see the Cosmo headline now.

 +5Posted on May 13th, 2011 | re: Teen Korner: Special Edish: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROBERT PATTINSON!! (24 comments)

When I look at a photo of RP, I think, “What a handsome young man! I would hit that.” Then he opens his mouth and it’s gone. Is that why God invented ball gags?

 0Posted on May 5th, 2011 | re: Conan: The Barbarian Trailer, You Guys (54 comments)

Microsecond. I’ll show myself out.