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mondaymorningkalibak
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 +12Posted on Aug 2nd, 2010 | re: Mad Men S04E02: Donald Draper Drank Too Much Juice And Kissed That Lady! (112 comments)

Don and Roger’s fake nazi banter was pretty much the funniest thing in the world.

You just know the Lucky Strikes guy was getting off on making Roger put on the santa suit. What a creepbag.

I thought it was pretty funny, monsters. Mickey Rourke is a legit crazy person, but atleast he appears to know this.

 +1Posted on Mar 9th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Wild Hogs (139 comments)

This is a movie my mother, who holds several advanced degrees, LOVES. In the future time of 2040, maybe I’ll think Seth Rogan and Cillian Murphy’s “Fart RV ” is really good too.

 0Posted on Mar 3rd, 2010 | re: Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time Continues To Be So Confusing (66 comments)

This movie looks bizarrely awful on the level of Super Mario Brothers: The Movie. I can’t think of a less convincing portrayal of a “ethnic” character by a white actor. Maybe John Wayne as Ghengis Kahn in The Conqueror?

 -1Posted on Mar 3rd, 2010 | re: Sarah Jessica Parker Reading Her Family Tree In A Library Is A Show? (77 comments)

I ask, NAY demand, that Gabe reconsider the embargo on Horseface parker jokes.

 +3Posted on Mar 1st, 2010 | re: The World Premiere Of Birdemic: Shock And Terror (54 comments)

A friend of mine got a bootleg of this (a BOOTLEG!) and we watched it in my college’s auditorium to an audience of about 7 people. Despite, or perhaps because, it’s an incoherent, terminally long pile of movie, I had a blast. I hope Nyguyen just keeps getting progressively larger sums of money to direct insane awful/great crap.

 0Posted on Mar 1st, 2010 | re: Keeping Away From The Joneses (44 comments)

That should read “that the stepford wives inhabits”. Ack!

 +2Posted on Mar 1st, 2010 | re: Keeping Away From The Joneses (44 comments)

This looks like it’s in that genre of “stupid unfunny ‘satire of the way we live’” that made the Stepford Wives inhabits.

In any case, I can’t wait for Coupon The Movie, you guys.

 +8Posted on Feb 23rd, 2010 | re: My Little Ponies Perform Showtunes And/Or Two Tickets To Nightmare Town (62 comments)

” two My Little Ponies singing Wicked”

“What is the last thing a drag queen sees before sleep, Alex”

 +4Posted on Feb 23rd, 2010 | re: My Little Ponies Perform Showtunes And/Or Two Tickets To Nightmare Town (62 comments)

Damn pony you got a soulful voice.

 +2Posted on Feb 23rd, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Oprah's Chocolate Set (152 comments)

theres chocolate guests too? And all the broadcasting equipment is made of chocolate? And it’s just Oprah crying and screeching while she convulses on the melting set?

alternate joke: celebrities: they’re just like us.

 +9Posted on Feb 22nd, 2010 | re: This Is The Real NSFW (59 comments)

what the fuck Selma Blair?

 +3Posted on Feb 22nd, 2010 | re: Birdemic Trailer Even More Birdemic-y (45 comments)

I’m glad the scientists let Nguyen use their newly developed 2D Quantum Eaglestm, which are made of antimatter and transcend space time. Jimmy Cameron ain’t got nothin’ on this.

 +8Posted on Feb 17th, 2010 | re: EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK: James Cameron's Avatar Novel (55 comments)

Avatar’s complex themes of “Nature+internetstuff” and “Armybad” are going to really translate well into prose.

For real though, I’m pretty sure this is one of those moments where you can point out precisely where in a celebrity’s career they became so famous they lost their fucking mind.

 +1Posted on Feb 17th, 2010 | re: Roger Ebert Is The Best (23 comments)

I’m seriously saving this article to my favorites to pull out anytime I don’t “feel like” writing something, because if Ebert can go through all that and still write so frequently and so well, then I don’t have a fucking excuse. Incredible article.

 +2Posted on Feb 17th, 2010 | re: Operation Kevin Smith Drop, Phase 2 (45 comments)

I gotta say, it’s pretty incredible to me how poorly reported this whole thing’s been. Smith was taken off the plane because of a SouthWest fuck up, but the reason he’s so angry (according to him, anyway) is because some fat girl he found himself sitting next to on the flight they ended up putting him on got taken off the plane and was told she should “think about buying a second seat” , despite the fact that there was an empty seat between the girl and smith. I agree that Smith should probably chill out about it with this Daily Show stuff, but the bit about the girl is pretty vital piece of the story that NO ONE IS REPORTING in favor just ripping on Smith.

 +1Posted on Feb 16th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Robert Pattinson Pillow (112 comments)

It’s like some kind of horrible demon that turns itself into whatever you desire most, only it’s been hurt and can’t do it right. “RRROBERT LOVE YOU BECKY ROB..”