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canadiantuxedo
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 +12Posted on Jan 14th, 2013 | re: "I Have The Wine" By Johnny Cash (26 comments)

I prefer Folsum Vineyard Blues:

I hear that taster coming, she’s rolling ’round the bend, and I ain’t seen this vintage, since, I don’t know when.
I’m stuck in Folsum Vineyards, and time keeps draggin’ on.
But those wines keep a comin’ even the sauvignon blanc.
When I was just a baby, my momma told me “son, you can’t have no wine, dear, until you’re 21″ but I snuck some of her vino; man it was so dry.
When she found me drunk in my crib, she hung her head and cried.

 +1Posted on Dec 5th, 2012 | re: It's The Most Prankerful Time Of The Year (36 comments)

This also works if you give a single mom a donation in their name. I remember one year when I actually got a present from someone and it was a donation to the Heffer Project. That is a great charity! Which is why I felt kind of bad when I was thinking “oh that is so nice and I have always wanted to donate to them but I couldn’t afford it, so it is really nice to be able to support them but I also kind of need my own cow too?”

 0Posted on Dec 5th, 2012 | re: DMX Sings "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" (21 comments)

LOLOLOLOL why did this get downvoted?!? “how dare you reference Goatse when talking about big a-holes” wha???

 +1Posted on Nov 27th, 2012 | re: Downton Abbey: The American Version Coming To NBC (13 comments)

I don’t think anything Edith Whartony could be fun.

 +9Posted on Nov 27th, 2012 | re: How To Make Chili Cheese Nachos (54 comments)

Four and a half minutes to heat up some chili and cheese?!?! I didn’t make it to the end because I started getting so depressed, but that chili came out all calcified right?

 +12Posted on Nov 13th, 2012 | re: What Else Does Michelle Obama Get That We Want?! (37 comments)

She recieved a special final season of LOST where everything was explained and the ending was really great and didn’t suck at all (also with no Kate!).

 +12Posted on Nov 9th, 2012 | re: PETA Target Honey Boo Boo In Chicken Naming Scandal! (33 comments)

“It’s cool if you want to exploit little kids on t.v., just as long as you’re not also reminding people that chicken nuggets are tasty” — PETA

 +3Posted on Sep 28th, 2012 | re: Follow Nancy Grace On Twitter! (32 comments)

You should just start with season 4.

 +3Posted on Aug 31st, 2012 | re: Clint Eastwood Interviews Some Awful Chair (33 comments)

Are you saying green Jell-O isn’t fun?

 +1Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E07: "Say My Name, Say My Name" (132 comments)

I actually thought that was kind of fatherly. Like, I need to let this kid learn to ride without training wheels. I thought the same thing a few episodes ago when Mike was watching Jessie agree to pay the entire amount of the legacy payments. He was just kind of watching him and willing Jesse to do the right thing. I saw that same look in Sunday’s episode. You can just tell he is thinking “come on kid!” but he doesn’t want to interfere, he wants Jesse to speak up for himself.

 +2Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E07: "Say My Name, Say My Name" (132 comments)

grr. My mansplaining comment was directed at capt. clown.

 +3Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E07: "Say My Name, Say My Name" (132 comments)

#mansplaining.

 0Posted on Jul 31st, 2012 | re: Rumor SQUASHED!! Emma Watson Is NOT Doing Fifty Shades Adaptation (38 comments)

You’re not going to get enough upvotes for this since only the ladies will get this, but I would give you 50 (shades of) upvotes if I could.

 +11Posted on Jul 30th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E03: Don't Fly Too Close To The JERK! (54 comments)

I loved the look on Mike’s face when Jesse offered to cover the legacy payments out of his share. Mike was looking at Walt like, “are you the kind of person who would let this kid pay so much more than you?” and Walt was so unhappy when he finally gave in, and you could just tell that he would not have if it weren’t for Mike’s face.

 +2Posted on Jul 27th, 2012 | re: Best New Party Game 69: Heatwave Movies (65 comments)

Honey I Shrunk the Kids’ College Funds Because I Keep Turning up the AC

 +3Posted on Jul 27th, 2012 | re: Antoine Dodson Finally Breaks His Legendary Silence About Chick-Fil-A (33 comments)

You can make waffle fries with a decent mandolin slicer. They taste even better because they are fresh and also not made with hate.

 +3Posted on Jul 25th, 2012 | re: Barack Obama Hates America's Lemonadetrepreneurs (42 comments)

I call BS. My daughter had a lemondade stand once. I had to go buy the stuff to make lemonade, I made it, I carried the table outside and helped her set up, and I made several more pitchers after she and her friends kept drinking all of the merchandise. I worked all dang day for free! Of course, we are a household of pinko liberal socialists so that probably had something to do with it.

 0Posted on Jul 24th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E02: Walt Is Very Frustrating (83 comments)

Hi Chet!

 +4Posted on Jul 24th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E02: Walt Is Very Frustrating (83 comments)

Just use 2% less honey and add some HFCS.

 +3Posted on Jul 24th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E02: Walt Is Very Frustrating (83 comments)

Crystal Ship is the new Magnets.

 0Posted on Jul 24th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E02: Walt Is Very Frustrating (83 comments)

We’ve seen Mike bug a house before. I think he truly knows what a timebomb Walt is and he learned about the methylamine from eavesdropping.

 +4Posted on Jul 24th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E02: Walt Is Very Frustrating (83 comments)

I also think Hank knows (and that scene was fantastic), but I think he is going to protect Walt for the sake of Skylar and his niece and nephew. I think that’s why he said that the laptop was encrypted anyway. It was all “nothing to see here–for sure do not take the laptop to a forensic IT person.” Hank will protect Walt until the middle of the season when Skylar leaves Walt, and then gloves off.

 -1Posted on Jul 5th, 2012 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Katie Holmes Something Something Scientology (80 comments)

Sorry, but other religions are money-making scams. See: Catholic church.

 -8Posted on Jul 2nd, 2012 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Katie Holmes Something Something Scientology (80 comments)

As an atheist, I don’t see Scientology as more ridiculous than any other religion. I have noticed that many of their followers are wildly successful, so much so that I’d probably join if I worked in the entertainment industry.

 +13Posted on Jun 28th, 2012 | re: Whoever The Duggers Are Have Some Hot Summertime Tipz! (36 comments)

I’m an atheist, but if it were socially acceptable (where I live) to swim in this I would.