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Mike Honcho
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I guess that’s more of a prediction/wishful thinking than a caption, but whatever.

Meet my new drug cartel…I mean “baseball team”. We’re really going to fucking blow away the competition, right guys? Wooo! But seriously, we’re smuggling drugs into America.

 +2Posted on Aug 11th, 2010 | re: That's Your 11-Year-Old Film Critic: Jackson (64 comments)

Damn he is irritating. More evidence of “kids these days,” am I right?

 +1Posted on Aug 4th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Shark Week! (198 comments)

I guess my decision to post gratuitously stupid/sexual comments a la what I imagine the real Mike Honcho would say was not the correct decision.

 0Posted on Aug 4th, 2010 | re: Basil Marceaux Dot Com On Jimmy Kimmel Live (56 comments)

I’m just waiting for some crazy-ass to pop up in the North Carolina election. If you follow the pattern, we’re next in line. And there’s already been a guy who commanded “the state militia” to kill the president. It’s just a matter of time.

 -18Posted on Aug 3rd, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Shark Week! (198 comments)

“Also, does it look like I have nipples right below my nostrils? Because people tell me it does, and I’m trying to be as menacing as possible at all times. I don’t need a bunch of dolphins and cameramen laughing and calling me nipple face. Do you know that can do your self-esteem?”

 +1Posted on Aug 3rd, 2010 | re: Inception Ripped-Off Scrooge McDuck & The Beagle Boys! (102 comments)

Or ARE geniuses. Grammar, who needs it?

 +1Posted on Aug 3rd, 2010 | re: Inception Ripped-Off Scrooge McDuck & The Beagle Boys! (102 comments)

Apparently the people who made these Donald Duck comics is a genius or something. I saw a MythBusters episode the other day where these ducks invented a contraption to raise a sunken boat with ping pong balls years before the MythBuster dude invented the same contraption to do the same exact thing.

 -20Posted on Aug 3rd, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: Shark Week! (198 comments)

“Does my mouth look like the scariest vagina in the world to you?”

 +1Posted on Jun 10th, 2010 | re: This Is What You See Right Before You're Born (56 comments)

This guy I met at a party introduced himself as such: “Hi, my name’s Matt. I like Asian women and dark beer.”

The dark beer explains itself. This video explains the rest. Maybe.

 +31Posted on May 28th, 2010 | re: The 16th Summer Jam Of 2010: ICP "Miracles" Performed By Look At The Fields (52 comments)

You got Faygo in my PBR.

And that’s how Four Loko was born.

 0Posted on Mar 30th, 2010 | re: Teen Korner: Justin Bieber's "Never Let You Go" Music VideOMG!!!!! (68 comments)

You leave the fine products endorsed by the late Billy Mays out of this!

 +1Posted on Mar 26th, 2010 | re: Dog Eats A Cop Car (28 comments)

Our Gang – “Dogs is PCP Dogs” (1991): What will the Little Rascals do when Petey starts a gang of his own…and ends up on the wrong side of the law? Hilarity ensues as the boys try to tackle Petey’s PCP addiction and set him back on the straight and narrow.

 +8Posted on Mar 25th, 2010 | re: WHO LET THE CLOWNS OUT? (53 comments)

Exactly. I’m afraid of clowns, but I am terrified of ridiculous “Who Let the Dogs Out?” remakes.

 +8Posted on Mar 25th, 2010 | re: WHO LET THE CLOWNS OUT? (53 comments)

I will not watch this. I don’t have the money to pay the psych ward.

It’s a small, yet growing, hobby around here.

Coincidentally, they’re supposed to air my cousin’s documentary about recovering the Sumatran rain forests next month in the Charlotte market. It’s called “Let’s Get it Wet Again.” We’ll see what happens.

 +2Posted on Mar 23rd, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't You Caption It? Contest: Diddy Got Slimed (150 comments)

“You people wouldn’t be applauding if you knew this slime was made from the pulp of $100 bills embezzled from the college funds of thousands of impoverished children across the world, which it is. It really is all about the Benjamins. What! R.I.P. B.I.G. Foreva! Now get this Godzilla goo off me.”

 0Posted on Mar 23rd, 2010 | re: Joe Biden Is The Permanent Headliner At The Gaffe Factory! (64 comments)

My new nickname for Joe Biden is “That Lighning,” as in he’s Biden “That Lightning.” No? Oh well, it’s not like it’s a big fucking deal.