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Mad Max Zorin: Beyond Thunderball
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I like that “stop” is spelled backwards in the first shot of the bus. Good special effects, you guys.

As CopperCab would tell you, asking the Internet to stop picking on you NEVER fails. Kudos to the anchors, by the way, for doing their damnedest not to burst out laughing after coming back from that interview.

(Wouldn’t her phone stop working when she fell into the fountain? #missingthepointgum)

 +9Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: Now If You'll Excuse Me... (43 comments)

Funny story: my boss walks into my lab the other day and tells my (female) colleague, “Oh yeah, ‘Dreamweaver’ came on the radio this morning and I thought of you.”

(Admittedly, there’s context, but it doesn’t help much.)

 +11Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: George Lucas Is A Maniac (73 comments)

He’s even sorta doing that head-tilt thing Gabe does in all his pictures.

 +10Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: George Lucas Is A Maniac (73 comments)

You won’t be laughing when planet Nibiru comes into view in a couple of weeks and everyone’s like, “That’s no moon…”

 +8Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: MTV's Adaptation Of Skins Is Terrible (130 comments)

No love for the Johnny Carson bit?

May a plague of homeless yaks infest your sister’s undergarments.

 +17Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: MTV's Adaptation Of Skins Is Terrible (130 comments)

“I liked the original better.”
(opens envelope)
“What was Napoleon’s response to his second exile?”

 +13Posted on Jan 18th, 2011 | re: MTV's Adaptation Of Skins Is Terrible (130 comments)

An infinitely better look at the trials and tribulations facing America’s teens/clones-of-famous-dead-guys-and-ladies.

 +2Posted on Jan 11th, 2011 | re: The Joker Doing Elmo Doing Smeagol, Obviously (32 comments)

“Is this real life?”

 +1Posted on Jan 10th, 2011 | re: Oh Fuck You, Fred Phelps (62 comments)

“Fuck him!”

…he certainly could use it. You’d be doing him a favor, really.

 +2Posted on Jan 10th, 2011 | re: These Are Your Bangs: Undetectables Designer Bangs (71 comments)

Really, though, I think we’ve officially moved on to the post-MySpace era.

 +10Posted on Jan 10th, 2011 | re: Baz Luhrman Might Shoot The Great Gatsby In 3D (32 comments)

ifonlyicouldphotoshop.com/country_strong_in_3d.jpg

 +27Posted on Jan 10th, 2011 | re: Baz Luhrman Might Shoot The Great Gatsby In 3D (32 comments)

“Wow! It looks like those boats are ACTUALLY being borne back ceaselessly into the past!”

 0Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: Who Is The Next Top Homeless Person?! (40 comments)

Thank you bird. If this were closer to 2002 we could make metric tons of cryogenically-frozen head jokes but alas.

Okay, moving on with my life now.

 +9Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (110 comments)

Hypothesis: 2011 is a disappointment because we’re all waiting for the other Mayan shoe to drop next year. Almost 2012 tiiiime!

“But dude, taking 2012 quasi-seriously is SO 2009.”

Uh-uh, fuck that noise. 2012 is a thing until 2013. And even then, maybe.

 +4Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: Who Is The Next Top Homeless Person?! (40 comments)

Please, someone — ANYONE — post a reply and tell me that when they see the words “Ted Williams” they also think “baseball player” first. I’m sorry, guy, I’m normally all about the latest retread of the Internet-meme-turned-rags-to-riches story, but that name is taken. Like that baseball player Evan Longoria: every time he gets mentioned, I think “Desperate Housewives”.

 +12Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: Michael Caine Does A Michael Caine Impression (18 comments)

“I’ve heard better.”
-Michael Caine

 +5Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: This Is Your Cover Of Guns N' Roses "Sweet Child 'O Mine" (52 comments)

Chinese Kakistocracy?

 +8Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: This Is Your Cover Of Guns N' Roses "Sweet Child 'O Mine" (52 comments)

Wait, that IS my cover of Sweet Child o’ Mine. How did THAT get online?

Umm…do you guys like my cowboy hat?

#fridayislieday

 +6Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: Why Jersey Shore Sucks Now (66 comments)

More Snookis = less children = extinction of humanity = long-term survival of planet’s ecosystems.

MTV is just being green, you guys.

 +1Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: Why Jersey Shore Sucks Now (66 comments)

I for one think Michael Cera = Pauly D. Is there confirmation that they’re two separate people?

 +32Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: Ted Haggard Rests His Case, Coming Soon To TLC (77 comments)

“Tiger Woods, Michael Vick, Ted Haggard.”
(opens envelope)
“Give three people for whom a bitch causes problems.”

#poortastegum

 +11Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: Ted Haggard Rests His Case, Coming Soon To TLC (77 comments)

Saw 30 seconds of a show last night on the History Channel where a guy tried to argue that Egyptian gods drawn with animal heads = aliens used the ancient Egyptians for genetic experiments.

In an unrelated note, I need a new TV because someone (could be anyone, really) put a coffee table through mine. Any recommendations?

 +4Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: They Sure Don't Make Keenans Like They Used To (23 comments)

…you could even say it’s…a LITTLE disheartening? It makes one feel SMALL? You’d need a li–

ow! Ow! Stop throwing things!

 +12Posted on Jan 7th, 2011 | re: They Sure Don't Make Keenans Like They Used To (23 comments)

“In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.”
-Andy Warhol, 1968

“14:58…14:59…FIFTEEN! That’s IT! DONE! NEXT!! Jesus, how many more of these assholes do we have left?!”
-Andy Warhol, 2011